Tag: downton abbey

This is how I felt after I freed the slaves!

Congressmuffin Aaron Schock: I, Like Abe Lincoln, Am No Longer In Congress

The House Of Representatives is going into recess for two weeks, which means that ethically challenged CongressCheeks Aaron Schock had to do to his "So Long, Farewell" speech a few days early. Schock had previously promised to resign effective...
Meh, a penguin. It's pretty close to the Twitter logo, right?

Twitter Calmly Assesses The Nuances Of Aaron Schock’s Resignation

You may have heard that Rep. Aaron Schock has suddenly resigned in the aftermath of the astonishing revelations in the final episode of HBO's The Jinx. And has the unexpected departure of the Distinguished Gentleman From Instagram blown up...
Last tango in Washington!

Congress-Model Aaron Schock Comes Out … Of Congress

BREAKING NEWS UPDATE! Aaron Schock, our beloved globetrotting Republican congressdarling from Illinois, the one what's had all the ethics violations doggie-styling him for the last couple of months, is resigning his seat to spend more time posting hawt pictures...
"Honey, take a picture of me doing selfies with the poors!"

Aaron Schock Snuck Hot Male Personal Photographer On India Trip, How Romantic!

Rude journalists are just out for Illinois Congresscritter Aaron Schock's blood these days, scouring his Instagram for pictures that look like they came from sexy, unreported trips that the taxpayers might have bought for him, due to what seems to be...
Just a man and his horse and his dog and his personal photographer and his perfect hair, you know, Congress stuff.

Aaron Schock Has Cute Nickname For Private Planes Now, Calls Them ‘Software’

Our Aaron Schock thought the news on his fancy and questionable spending was going to stop, but he was wrong. The fetching congressman from Illinois has been known for many things lately, like having to pay the US Treasury...

Aaron Schock’s Ass Writes Check For Downton Abbey Office, US Treasury Cashes It

Hello, hot Republican boyfriend Aaron Schock, what are we doing with our time today? Oh, me? Nothing, just checking in with you. Oh, you finally had to write a check to the United States Treasury for that free-stylin' Downton...
We're sure he'll find a way to Shake This Off too.

Aaron Schock Hires Nice Lawyers To Fix All His Not-Gay Ethics Violations

Oh, Aaron Schock, we have so missed reporting on you for the last three days or so! But we are back, because things continue to go poorly for you, you dumb, cuddly animal, and we promise we will not...

Viewing The Weekend Stock Photo Report Causes Autism, But It’s Worth It

In this installment of The Weekend Stock Photo Report, Rand Paul and Chris Christie vacillate on vaccines, Aaron Schock gets some dandy new digs, and conservative Christians are mad at Barack Obama for saying true things about history. Missed last...
Take it off, sweetcheeks.

Aaron Schock’s Staffer Resigns To Spend More Time Being Racist Jerk On Facebook

Aaron Schock Aaron Schock Aaron Schock Aaron Schock Aaron Schock. On Thursday, Think Progress posted a series of Facebook posts from Benjamin Cole, dreamy non-gay wingnut Aaron Schock's press secretary or spokesman or communications director or senior aide or senior...

Spirit Animal Taylor Swift Sees Aaron Schock Through Not-Gay Office Crisis

Hello, it is Thursday, which makes this DAY THREE of me being your official Wonkette president of talking shit about Aaron Schock -- if my guidance counselor could only see me now! Okay, so you'll remember that Illinois's wingnut...

Aaron Schock Might Get Gayest Ethics Violation Ever

Oh, ho, ho, so you know how yesterday we were talking about that thing by the campfire, about how sexy wingnut Aaron Schock, who is not gay, got one of his favorite interior decorators to make him a fancy...

Aaron Schock’s Downton Abbey Office Not Gay, Just Helping A Buddy Out

Aaron Schock, the sexy darling wingnut from Illinois, is not gay again, despite recently surfaced news that he has had his entire congressional office redecorated to look like the dining room on the Downton Abbey teevee program: Bright red walls....
They don't make butlers like Carson anymore.

Rich People Tired Of Living In Giant Mansions, Long For Merely Huge Mansions

Claudio Stivelman is a real estate developer whose corporate biography modestly alludes to his "prophetic vision to invest along the Northern coast of Miami-Dade County." He got stupid-rich and built himself an "11,000-square-foot dream house," only to find that...

Daily Caller Outraged: Queen Michelle Obama Bogarting All The Downton Abbeys

Well we never! Did you know that Queen Michelle Obama is so enamored of the BBC televisionne programme "Downton Abbey" that she "begged" to get season three before the rest of us servants, and they gave it to her???...

Aussie Prime Minister Broad Natters On And On, Won’t Shut Trap About ‘Sexism’

Above, via LittleGreenFootballs, is a quite enjoyable 15 minutes of Australian Prime Minister Tilda Swinton smearing her menses all over the leader of the opposition, Richard from Downton Abbey, for being a total sexist lorry. It is because some...