Well good morning to you! The Dow dropped over 660 points after opening, which is to say, it’s just another beautiful day on Wall Street. Our president, George W. Bush, will once again scurry out of his spider hole to choke out a few brief words about our flourishing economy before he glimpses his shadow and disappears for another six weeks. So of course we will liveblog all 90 seconds of his remarks, so stay tuned! [Yahoo Finance]

Sad conservatives who pray every day for a terrible new 9/11-style attack on a big American city full of ethnics and gays sort of got their wish today, at least in a financial sense. The Federal Reserve has made three massive cash infusions in an attempt to stop the horrible August collapse that has already shaved some 800 points off the Dow Jones Industrial Average along with trillions of dollars of corporate and individual wealth. But the market keeps going south as one major lender after another announces that they’re broke because all their rotten mortgages are failing. MORE »

* The US will participate in a little regional conference about Iraq that features just about every country the White House hates. [WP, NYT]
* Furrowed brows abound as Democrats continue to contemplate war legislation. [WP, NYT, LAT]
* Black voters continue to be drawn to Barack Obama. Also, old white men still vote for each other. [WP]
* CIA happily gives candy bars to people they’ve disappeared. [WP]
* HUD confirms there are no less than 700K homeless in the US, add, “it could happen to you!” [USAT]
* Of course, in a globalized market where one of the driving economies is beset by investors who think it’s “a slot machine,” it could happen to you. [NYT]
* Lara Croft writes letters. [WP]

Hooray, it’s a new record for the Dow! Happy days are here again! The TV news idiots are high-fiveing and congratulating each other on this exciting market news.

Too bad the New Great Depression is about to strike! There’s an October Surprise sure to please everyone.

We’ll tell you what today has in common with September 3, 1929, August 17, 1987 and March 10, 2000, after the jump.

MORE »