You can never be too careful these days, which is why the polo-shirt-wearin’ cover-band-lovin’ young Republicans of the Capital Club have been instructed by somebody — lawyer? daddy? — to Remove the phrase “one of the foremost and respected clubs nationwide” and replace it with the sadly modest “a nationally recognized organization.” MORE »

Having run out of stories about rich white young Democrats doing whatever they do up there, the NYT “Sunday Styles” team slummed down to the Potomac Polo Club to cover the antics of rich white young Republicans. MORE »

Is it possible for one brief message board exchange to explain the entire culture and mindset of the Washington Douchebag? To succinctly illustrate everything about them worth ridiculing? If so, this Late Night Shots dialogue might be the motherlode: MORE »

“That’s FUNNY, you QUEER. LAUGH.”

You never know what’s gonna happen at the Capital Club’s annual “Swine on the Vine” party! So promises The Hill’s Betsy Rothstein, anyway, and boy, does it sound unpredictable!

One year, members of this quasi-fraternity decided to play a prank on Matt Jessee, a member who had not shown up for the bash. They posted a “Free Kittens” sign with his cell phone number at the party, prompting 100 calls. Jessee, a lobbyist for Bryan Cave Strategies and former aide to Rep. Eric Cantor (R-Va.), vowed never to miss a party again.

ROFLMAO. Seriously, tears over here. And Billy Bush might show up. BILLY FUCKING BUSH, PEOPLE.

More Cap Club follies, after the jump.

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• Bill Frist shows his compassionate conservatism by tolerating Nantucket-summering douchebags [Melissa C. Morris]

• In Sweden, all girls named Inge, all think Condi’s gay. [Swedes for Obama]
• The Colorado gubernatorial race hinges on the polarizing sheep-fucking issue. [Pandagon]
• Esquire “We’re not gay, really” Magazine congratulates Barack Obama for not dressing Sensenbrennerly. [Esquire]
• Newspapers plan on buying RV and blowing the kids’ inheritance, as they’ll be dead in 5 years. [E-Consultancy]

• Brandishing his firm grip on obvious pointlessness, the Post’s Philip Rucker tries to out-do Laura Sessions Stepp - he scores well, but the use of interns for quotes lowers the difficulty rating a tenth of a point. [WaPo]

• Metrosexual envelope-pusher Peter McBride is the biggest douchebag in DC, which puts him high in the running for biggest douche world-wide. [Newsweek via Beauty and the Beltway]
• Vladimir Ilyich giggles in his mausoleum as the US government single handedly keeps Office Movers in business through soviet style moronic inefficiency. [Jaded In DC]
• Tucker Carlson wants you to know he is really light in his loafers. [Blah Blah Blog]
• The Chinatown bus is great for so many reasons, being able to get naked and piss yourself in front of the entire bus is just one on the long list. [Pop Pop Bang]
• Norton vs. Colbert II: The Booze Hounds - live on pay per view! [Winesmith]

• RFK Stadium? More like RF-Gay Stadium! [Worth Repeating]
• Bill Cosby takes on the WaPo, because nobody else will. [Poynter]
• Find out who your neighbors are backing, so as not to piss them off. [DC Campaign Data]
• Are you a Craigslist Douchebag? Oh yes you are. [LMNOP]
• A history of gentrification, with graphs. [The Goodspeed Update]

Pierce Bush! He’s the super-cool laid-back son of Neil (the black sheep Bush brother), just chillin’, brah, down in Austin, checkin’ out the scene, scorin’ wit’ bitches, knahahmsayin’? MORE »