Tag: douchebags

Weird Dilbert Guy Scott Adams, Cruelly Persecuted By #HillBullies, Continues Descent Into Madness

Are #Hillbullies being paid to be mean to Scott Adams On Twitter? Obviously!

DRUDGE SIRENS! Black People Beat Up Nice Trump Supporter’s Car In Obviously Fake Video!

This is what happens when you take someone who calls themselves 'Joey Salads' seriously.

Trump Jr.: Ladies Shouldn’t Even BE In Business If They Don’t Like Sexual Harassment

Maybe they could go teach kindergarten if they don't want Donald Trump, Jr. to show them pictures of boobies?
Yup.

Douchebag Hipsters Named Trevor Would Like A Glass Of Your Finest Rosé Please

First off, apologies to all the Trevors, but we had to pick a name, so we went with Trevor. Or Chase. It could easily be Chase. Would Hunter like to join us? Sup bro? What shall we do this...

Millionaire Golfer Phil Mickelson Feels The Pain Of The Underclass: The Poor, Poor CEOs

Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy Let us begin our long, long week of snark and <headdesking> by crying a big ol’ bucket of crocodile tears for golfing sports-man Phil Mickelson, a person who...

Your Wonkette PRISM Explainer, Part 2 Of Infinite: Which Morons Are Saying What Stupid Things About PRISM?

We decided we needed an entirely separate Explainer to discuss all the stupid morons saying dumb things about PRISM and/or the collection of All Metadata Everywhere, because so many "journalists" have been MORE THAN HAPPY to come forward, pat...

Terrible Gucci Fanboy, Sports Mythmaker Buzz Bissinger Proves Why Marginal Tax Rates Should Be 100 Percent

Remember last year when angry old sportswriter Harry "Buzz" Bissinger endorsed Mitt Romney because Mittens was totally lying about everything? It was probably non-sports fans' first introduction to the douchepile that is Buzz Bissinger, so here is a quick...

Paul Ryan Focusing On Jobs With New Bill About One-Celled Embryos

Lucky you, Amercia, Paul Ryan (R-Complete Tool) is back at work and ready to focus on the issues. After all, Paul Ryan is a Very Serious Person who is Very Concerned about Jobs and The Economy! So when he was...

Chicago Board of Trade Princes Mock Occupy Chicago Protesters From On High

The Occupy Chicago protester-folk got this cryptic message from the mysterious cabal of mutant space hamsters inhabiting the Chicago Board of Trade. But, uh, maybe take heart Ocupados (?), the 1% does not even appear to have enough money...

Everybody — Even John Boehner! — Hates Oil-Industry Whore Joe Barton

It was hardly a good day for BP CEO Tony Hayward, who mumbled "I don't recall" and "I was not part of that decision making process" enough times to qualify for the Iran-Contra Memorial Bullshit Award. But Tony must...

A Children’s Treasury of Videos of Al & Tipper Gore Being Gross

How much will we miss "America's President," the sore-loserman Al Gore and his wife Tipper Gore, who are becoming separated today due to the lack of love in their lives? Let's all gather around the laptop and remember the...

Wall Street Assholes Will Eat Your Cushy Middle-Class Job

Once General Secretary Obama and Chief Commissar Pelosi have banned all capitalist activity more advanced that barter and turned Lower Manhattan into a giant open-air market for selling organic produce and hemp blankets, what will become of the tightly...

Husband Of Giant Campbell Brown May Run For Senate

Once upon a time there was a gargantuan CNN anchoress who, for five wonderful, lucrative days way back in 2008, eated your Wonkette. (These were in the days when large corporations still paid money to blogs in exchange...

TWO DISASTROUS PEOPLE GET INTO FIGHT: Joe "Fucking Wind Sock" Klein and Jamie "Marty Peretz's Slave" Kirchick appear to have gotten into a fight, at a Jew conference! "A heated debate between Time magazine's Joe Klein and the New...

GEORGETOWN SOPHOMORE LOOKING FOR ASSISTANT: This sophomore also works in the financial services industry! So of course: "PA example tasks -Organize closet -make bed -Drop off / pick up dry cleaning -Drop me off / pick me up from...