douchebags
Terrible Gucci Fanboy, Sports Mythmaker Buzz Bissinger Proves Why Marginal Tax Rates Should Be 100 Percent
Remember last year when angry old sportswriter Harry “Buzz” Bissinger endorsed Mitt Romney because Mittens was totally lying about everything? It was probably non-sports fans’ first introduction to the douchepile that is Buzz Bissinger, so here is a quick primer. Back when the internet consisted of three Star Trek fans on a dial-up message board, [...]
Paul Ryan Focusing On Jobs With New Bill About One-Celled Embryos
Lucky you, Amercia, Paul Ryan (R-Complete Tool) is back at work and ready to focus on the issues. After all, Paul Ryan is a Very Serious Person who is Very Concerned about Jobs and The Economy! So when he was campaigning we were all bereft of his leadership on these and other pressing issues, and it was [...]
Chicago Board of Trade Princes Mock Occupy Chicago Protesters From On High
The Occupy Chicago protester-folk got this cryptic message from the mysterious cabal of mutant space hamsters inhabiting the Chicago Board of Trade. But, uh, maybe take heart Ocupados (?), the 1% does not even appear to have enough money to buy printer ink to run off a couple of window signs, so they will join [...]
A Children’s Treasury of Videos of Al & Tipper Gore Being Gross
How much will we miss “America’s President,” the sore-loserman Al Gore and his wife Tipper Gore, who are becoming separated today due to the lack of love in their lives? Let’s all gather around the laptop and remember the years of joy and kissing and complaining about Prince records and “lockbox” and whatever else they [...]
Wall Street Assholes Will Eat Your Cushy Middle-Class Job
Once General Secretary Obama and Chief Commissar Pelosi have banned all capitalist activity more advanced that barter and turned Lower Manhattan into a giant open-air market for selling organic produce and hemp blankets, what will become of the tightly wound young men who made all that money for you and me, right up until the [...]
TWO DISASTROUS PEOPLE GET INTO FIGHT: Joe “Fucking Wind Sock” Klein and Jamie “Marty Peretz’s Slave” Kirchick appear to have gotten into a fight, at a Jew conference! “A heated debate between Time magazine’s Joe Klein and the New Republic‘s Jamie Kirchick spilled off the dais Tuesday into a hallway confrontation where Klein called the [...]
GEORGETOWN SOPHOMORE LOOKING FOR ASSISTANT: This sophomore also works in the financial services industry! So of course: “PA example tasks -Organize closet -make bed -Drop off / pick up dry cleaning -Drop me off / pick me up from work -Do laundry -Fill up gas tank -bring car for servicing -schedule appointment for haircut -Pay [...]
Douchey No-Name Bush Speechwriter Writes Douchey ‘Tell-All’ Piece Of Crap
You may have seen on the Internets this morning various excerpts from what appears to be GQ’s answer to Vanity Fair‘s Levi Johnston article, in terms of the great “which major New York magazine can publish the weirdest and least fact-checkable 10-page fart of targeted-readership porn” journalism wars. “Matt Latimer,” a late-term speechwriter for George [...]
ABOUT FRIGGING TIME: The delightfully named Finger Interests Number One Ltd. is trying to persuade other Bank of America shareholders to get rid of Ken Lewis and two other people on the bank’s board of directors. Imagine that! Imagine throwing out the terrible bums who just dropped their trousers and peed all over their shareholders [...]
Karl Rove: Everything Is Awesome For Republicans!
Man, this guy! Remember Karl Rove, the doughy, evil clown who used direct mail to make George W. Bush the permanent dictator of America? He has good news for Republicans. They are poised on the precipice of a COMEBACK, a massive and extremely awesome comeback, because they keep winning seats in the South — a [...]
Fox’s Brit Hume ‘Just Kind Of Tired Of Doing It’
Oh man, this is sort of sad! Brit Hume, by many measures one of the least offensive Fox News personalities in existence, is stepping down from the anchor’s desk after 12 years because he has lost his enthusiasm for the job. (Quick everybody, quit your job because you are bored!) Twelve years on Fox would [...]
GOP Delegate Robbed Blind By Sexy Hero Gal
Check out this dude! He went to the Republican convention in St. Paul, as a delegate from Colorado! He is a 29-year-old attorney. He was real proud of himself, talking to the AP and giving this repulsive little interview to LinkTV. Ha ha ha ha ha, what happened to him is fantastic. It’s better than [...]
Why Hasn’t Barack Obama Stopped the Russians?
Jonah Goldberg penned a
blog advertising is good for you
