Kenyan freedom fighter George Hussein Obama, savagely arrested over the weekend for either possessing a single joint or owning all marijuana ever, and fighting the cops over it, has been released. All charges dropped! The Kenyan police now say it was all, heh heh, a misunderstanding. MORE »

OBAMA BRO BUSTED FOR ONE JOINT! Oh noes, one of Barack Obama’s million half-brothers somewhere got arrested, for having a single joint. Where does this dude live, Oklahoma? No, the slums of Kenya! So the cops are just going to fuck with anyone named “Obama” for the next eight years. [Gawker/Telegraph]

Pretend-cowboy George W. Bush was all set to give some kind of anti-sleeping-pills speech today, but he’s so upset about the sleeping-pill suicide of pretend-cowboy Heath Ledger that the whole thing’s been postponed! That’s what White House spokeslady Dana Perino told a sobbing press corps today. Brokeback Mountain is Bush’s favorite movie of all time. [Associated Press]

Cindy McCain has sure had a tough life, due to all the miscarriages and having a stroke and being a drug addict who stole all these pills from some charity she was supposed to be running, or something. Also, her current husband is John WALNUTS! McCain. MORE »