doom
The “new thing” in America is being desperately poor, until an audience of Tea Party sociopaths maniacally cheers your death outside the razor-wire fence of the hospital. But some of these uppity poors are so desperate that they’ve politely begged the rich monsters of Congress to forgive their many debts. HR 365 was introduced today, [...]
As America and the Entire Industrialized World dips into the second act of our 21st Century Greatest Depression, workers and employers are developing new skills to cope with the complete lack of money. In the Los Angeles City Attorney’s office, for example, about a hundred actual qualified lawyers have worked in the “reserve” program, meaning [...]
Washington’s decadent spending spree is over, motherfuckers! There’s a new House Budget Committee Chairman in town, and his name is Paul Ryan. Maybe you’ve heard of him before, since he is the world’s most famous money-saving wizard? (When cleaning his bunghole, Paul Ryan always uses both sides of a piece of toiler paper — and [...]
Hello! Has Satan ever kidnapped you at knife-point and then imprisoned you in his favorite fire dungeon, where thousands of sweaty young people “grind” to auto-tuned fart sounds accompanied by predictable bass lines and recycled MTV mashup samples, for the rest of eternity? It doesn’t even matter really, since these apocalyptic sex rites are performed [...]
A sad new study makes that whole “DREAM Act” defeat a little more tragic: More than 80% of Americans trying to join the Army can’t meet the very low minimum requirements. The first 75% gets immediately disqualified “because they are physically unfit, have a criminal record or didn’t graduate high school.” That second pool is [...]
Here’s some cheery news from the Roosevelt Institute: “Starting at the beginning of 2009, it is now more likely that someone who is unemployed will drop out of the labor force than find a job.” Uhh … that’s probably a bad thing, right? Anything else to weep about, behind the dumpster? “Underemployment, or those employed [...]
MSNBC’s very own narcissist-blowhard teevee personality Ed Schultz laughs and laughs at last weekend’s Glenn Beck Death March on Washington. Does he laugh because the rally was several hours of monotonous, meaningless drivel attended by the most wretched and diabetic demographic of America? Does he laugh because Glenn Beck organized an army of worshipers to [...]
Bedbugs! They’re destroying Freedom & Liberty even faster than Debbie Riddle and terror babies combined. In Ohio and several other states, the critters have become so unruly that local governments are calling on the feds — including the Department of Defense — to help find a solution.
Israel’s official daily briefing, the Atlantic Monthly, has a hot new announcement about how Israel is going to attack Iran, this coming spring, just like in the good old days of Reagan and the mujahideen. What could go wrong?! Oh, everything.
New employment numbers are out and they’re great news! Oh, wait, we had the thing upside down, they’re actually terrible. 131,000 fewer jobs last month, although that figure includes 141,000 liberal census workers who were let go after the government decided to just make up the census numbers this year. In fact, the private sector [...]
HMMM, WHAT WAS THE NUMBER FOR XINHUA’S HR DEPARTMENT AGAIN?: Exciting new unemployment numbers are out and they are bad! 83,000 private sector jobs were added (130 to 150K are needed just to keep up with population growth), and hundreds of thousands of census workers have been tossed back into the job-seeking pool. The overall [...]
WHAT WE NEED IS ANOTHER SAW TO GET THAT SAW OUT: Your one-sentence AP story of the day: “Coast Guard says saw has become stuck in riser pipe in latest effort to contain Gulf oil spill.” [AP]
