Hey, look, it’s what’s-her-name, Ashley (?), the famous YouTube star of “Obama Girl.” She doesn’t vote, or know why people vote, or anything at all. Thanks for another diamond in your crown of hearts, New Jersey. [Why Tuesday?]

As we all sit around waiting for the serving of sandwiches, pie and Baracklava at some point after 7 o’clock tonight in Iowa, it’s important to note that only a very few Iowans take part in this bizarre folk ritual — only 8% of Iowans and 12% of the state’s registered voters will caucus tonight. Everybody else, including the traditional voter demographic of cranky old white people with nothing better to do, is avoiding the caucus and can’t wait for the whole dumb thing to end, so The Blazing Saddle will just be frequented by locals again. MORE »