Wonkette

* Jury sheds no tears for Scooter. [WP, NYT]
* And if he pulls up next to President Bush at a red light, it won’t be to ask for Grey Poupon. [LAT]
* Americans still asking Dick Cheney, “Where you at, big dawg?” [NYT]
* Bob Dole’s long experience nipping and tucking combined with Donna Shalala’s ability to crush the spirits of low wage workers will make them the perfect Walter Reed study super-duo. [WP, NYT]
* Fired US Attorneys should count their lucky stars the “threats” they faced weren’t knocked-out kneecaps or cement shoes. [WP, LAT]
* Steny Hoyer so bored with Iraq funding debate he can’t think of anything but those delishus Dunkin Munchkins. [NYT]
* Grassroots group pesters the FCC on transfer of power to “big media.” [WSJ]
* If the Pentagon can’t sell airplanes to Iran then government employees can’t invest there either, it’s only fair. [USAT]

* The Washington Wire’s sense of humor isn’t dead after all; it’s just very badly burned. [WSJ] MORE »

* We definitely think the fact that it was a grenade and some weed is the funniest part. [The Boston Channel] MORE »

Last month we reported that Donna Shalala, the former Secretary of Health and Human Services and current President of the University of Miami, is living the high-life — while university janitors are trying to unionize and win a living wage. The story was picked up in the Washington Post and the Miami Herald, among other places. Now we bring you this brief update. MORE »

Some pretty random items, to close out a pretty random day: MORE »

* Reliable Source:

* In case you’re just returning from a long vacation at a secluded Caribbean hideaway, where you had no access to television, radio, newspapers, or the internet, here’s what you missed: Vice President Dick Cheney shot a man last weekend, then took his sweet time in telling the American people about it. (Wonkette’s full coverage is available here.) MORE »

We’ve always had a soft spot for that spunky Donna E. Shalala. Shalala, who served as President Clinton’s Secretary of Health and Human Services for eight years — and gave him a proper tongue-lashing over L’Affaire Monica — currently serves as the President of the University of Miami.

Now President Shalala is receiving some poorly timed publicity. A reader advises us:

Just as University of Miami President Donna Shalala is fighting off attempts by low-wage janitors at her campus to win a living wage, the Sunday New York Times magazine goes and prints a two-page spread about her luxury home in Coral Gables. Since leaving the trenches of the Washington battles over health care, Shalala and her dog “Sweetie” are living it up with a Lexus SUV and Lenox china bowls.

After the jump, more details about Shalala’s 9,000 square-foot mansion, 29-foot-motorboat, collection of fine antiques, and luxurious garden — where she grows fresh mangoes and grapefruit. YUM!

MORE »