Tag Archives: donations

  Bigot Nice Time we guess

Pizza Bigots Sharing Dough With Florist Bigot, Like Good Gay-Hating Jesus Would Do

Daughter prays as Father stews over gay homosexuals pulling the pizza from his cold dead hands.
The Deliverance cast members who own that Indiana fag-hatin’ pizza hole called Memories raised over $840,000 in bigot money on GoFundMe, for taking the bold stand that, were a gay or lesbian couple to visit them and say “please, our dream is to serve your shitty pizza to our wedding guests,” they would refuse, because God Hates Fags. You will be glad (depending on your value for “glad”) to know that they aren’t just going to stick all that money up their butts; they plan to follow Jesus’s command to help the needy and spread the wealth. Read more on Pizza Bigots Sharing Dough With Florist Bigot, Like Good Gay-Hating Jesus Would Do…
  Are We Having Funds Yet?

How Much Money Will God And Liberals Send To Maine Family Planning Group?

That's Why I Love Mankind
Looks like the Culture Wars have spilled over from food fights to competing claims of divine intervention in fundraising campaigns. With the Great Indiana Gay Pizza Crisis (please give generously) finally at an end — or at least the GoFundMe page no longer taking contributions — there’s now an attempt to get Big Gay-Hating monees for the Washington florist who had to pay a $1000 fine for refusing to do the flowers for a same-sex wedding. That one is currently at $127,000, a pretty good return on a fine. Read more on How Much Money Will God And Liberals Send To Maine Family Planning Group?…
  Wonkette heals the sick

Wonkette Commenters Teach Obamacare-Hating Sheriff A Lesson By Paying His Medical Bills

Except this time it is Wonkette being Jesus!
Wonkette is a force for good in the world, it has been proven! On Friday, we had the story of former Arizona sheriff guy Richard Mack, a wingnut Oath Keeper, who has also been a very public opponent of the tyrannical reach-around that is Obamacare. Mack and his wife do not have health insurance, because FREEDOM, but sadly both have suffered major health setbacks in the past several months, which has led them to experience the uniquely American wonders of getting driven into the poor house, due to ain’t got no health insurance. Read more on Wonkette Commenters Teach Obamacare-Hating Sheriff A Lesson By Paying His Medical Bills…
  orange is the new steve

Our Old Friend Steve Stockman Is Maybe An Actual Criminal Besides Just Being A Really Good Grifter

Normally we don’t like to get too into campaign finance and disclosure scandals because we are just not that kind of Wonkblog. We’re the other kind. The one with dick jokes. But we’ll make an exception for a scandal that involves Texas Rep. Steve Stockman because Steve Stockman. The problem is, doing this requires understanding what the hell happened, and that is a thing that may never occur. Even absent a thorough understanding of the issues, we have no reason to disbelieve that Steve Stockman was behaving in a shenanigan-y/illegal sort of way because, of course, Steve Stockman. Stick with us while we try to figure this out. Read more on Our Old Friend Steve Stockman Is Maybe An Actual Criminal Besides Just Being A Really Good Grifter…
  it gets better

Michele Bachmann Bravely Stands Up For Oppressed Straight People Everywhere

Michele Bachmann leads a rough life. Despite being a Congresswoman, former presidential front-runner, and a national spokesperson for Crazy Eye Syndrome, she has a problem. As a straight person, she is tired of being bullied by the gays all the time. Bachmann recently went on the Lars Larson show to discuss CPAC, and discussed being the victim of bullying, via Right Wing Watch: “And the thing that I think is getting a little tiresome is the gay community have so bullied the American people and they have so intimidated politicians that politicians fear them and they think they get to dictate the agenda everywhere. Well, not with the Constitution you don’t.” When will America come to terms with the decades of oppression faced by straight people at the manicured hands of the gays? And here’s the crazy(er) part: that’s not the craziest thing she said in the interview!  Read more on Michele Bachmann Bravely Stands Up For Oppressed Straight People Everywhere…
  say it ain't so

Wingnut Blog Shocked To Learn Corporations Give Money To Fascist Communist Muslim Socialists ‘Think Progress’

Hope you’re sitting down, kids: the pro-American, completely reason-based blog PowerLine made a shocking discovery last week: There are politically oriented organizations that it disagrees with, and there are actually businesses that make donations to those organizations! No really, this shocking true fact is true! The Center for American Progress is a left-wing organization that is closely associated with the Obama administration. Its principal product is a web site called Think Progress. Think Progress is part of the internet cesspool that modern liberalism has become. Written by hack left-wing bloggers, it is bitterly hostile to free enterprise. It is a low-rent site that traffics in the most absurd smears and conspiracy theories. This is all true — conspiracy theories like “global warming is real” and absolutely made-up anti-free-enterprise smears like “45 Fossil Fuel Disasters The Industry Doesn’t Want You To Know About,” which suggest that the petroleum industry is somehow not especially clean. Yr Wonket, by the way, does not traffic in smears and conspiracy theories. We prefer to think that we participate in the market of smear and conspiracy theory ideas. Read more on Wingnut Blog Shocked To Learn Corporations Give Money To Fascist Communist Muslim Socialists ‘Think Progress’…
  the vetting

BREAKING: Obama’s Campaign Site Rejects Fraudulent Donation

Today’s right-wing Obama-is-a-foreigner thing is the startling revelation that, theoretically, Barack Obama could be accepting campaign donations from foreign nationals. Short version: Barack Obama does not own the Obama.com domain name. Some (American) dude in China does. It autoforwards to a donation page on BarackObama.com, which Barack Obama owns. Foreigners can access Obama.com through nefarious means such as web browsers, which probably means that all of Obama’s money is raised from his half-siblings in Kenya and Indonesia. But how to prove this is happening? The campaign denies it, of course, as liars would. So leave it to intrepid pile of moist journalism Erick Erickson to investigate. And by investigate, we mean attempt credit card fraud. Read more on BREAKING: Obama’s Campaign Site Rejects Fraudulent Donation…
  college journalism majors

Teabagger Tries To Harass Congressman’s House, Lists Wrong Address, Stands By His ‘Journalism’

The Politico has a funny story, so /LINKBAN temporarily: Teabaggers are harassing poor Virginia freshman Rep. Tom Perriello. (To whom you libtards might want to spare some reelection $$$ if you can, since he’s a good, populist voice who has made many tough votes and could use a Reward. This is how it works when Democrats actually pass major laws; we’re so used to just bitching about everyone and everything and ruining their careers, which is more fun.) ANYWAY, the teabaggers are trying to destroy this guy’s life, and having some trouble. Read more on Teabagger Tries To Harass Congressman’s House, Lists Wrong Address, Stands By His ‘Journalism’…
  boring people

Tim Pawlenty, The GOP Mob’s Official Courier Slave

Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty, the 2012 candidate everyone’s heard about and immediately forgotten, holds a very special position for the Republican party: he runs around the country giving speeches that no one cares about BUT ONLY TO DISGUISE his true purpose, which is cash. He distributes unmarked bills and checks to people. Powerful people. Real quiet, see? Read more on Tim Pawlenty, The GOP Mob’s Official Courier Slave…
  this can happen

Coleman Campaign’s Entire Database Of Donors Breached, All Financial Information Leaked Onto Internet

We know that at least 89% of you were planning to donate to Norm Coleman’s campaign in Minnesota within the next five minutes but STOP STOP STOP AND BACK AWAY FROM THE INTERNET DONATION FORM!!! Because oh look at this, someone hacked into the Coleman donor list, accessed the *publicly available Coleman donor list* took down every donor’s credit card number and posted it all on Wikileaks in an Excel spreadsheet. Hmm, maybe Norm should take this humiliating opportunity to drop out of that 2008 election in which his loss has already been certified? Read more on Coleman Campaign’s Entire Database Of Donors Breached, All Financial Information Leaked Onto Internet…
  the mac is pac

OMG You Mean John McCain Is Still Alive??

GAHHH what the hell is this! The campaign’s over, OLD MAN. Go get a real American job now, OLD MAN. So terrifying. Anyway, the long and the short of it is that John McCain’s starting a new PAC called “Country First,” so check out its fancy website, which is a long donation form and absolutely nothing else. John McCain’s never had any problems raising money in the past (HEHEHE), so this website should more or less heal the economy. [Country First] Read more on OMG You Mean John McCain Is Still Alive??…
  whores

Race Will Only Be Transcended By Those Who Purchase Obama Fleece!

The silly DNC spent all of its cash on loser Jim Martin’s 800 losses in Georgia this year, so what do they do, right, they go to Obama and ask for a damn check, and then he e-mails us to hawk some more junk. “Obama for America” writes, “This holiday season, celebrate the historic accomplishment of our movement for change. Treat yourself or a loved one to a limited edition Obama fleece jacket.” It’s really the only appropriate celebration for such an historic accomplishment. They are $50, and if you do not buy one then you hate black people. [Barack Obama] Read more on Race Will Only Be Transcended By Those Who Purchase Obama Fleece!…
  squatters

A Children’s Treasury Of Corner Posts In Which K-Lo Begs For Money

Today is an exciting day on the Corner, the best National Review blog on the Internet, period. Not only is the fat Mexican secretary Jonah Goldberg yelling at slummy Kathleen Parker for trying to sneak into the Sexy Obama Dance Parties with her Gorilla God-hating cigarette dildo columns, but Parker’s ex-BFF, Kathryn Jean Lopez — who No Longer Reads Wonkette — has been begging National Review‘s readers for money in at least 20 million posts for the last two days. Donate, people! Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Corner Posts In Which K-Lo Begs For Money…
  big donors

John McCain Is President of Sports

Does Barack Obama have a “major league sports team owner” problem? It sure looks like it, because he has not raised nearly as much money from this crucial demographic as that other guy, John McCain. McCain has raised more than $3.2 million from major sports team owners and their families, while Barack Obama has raised only $615,000 — despite the fact that Obama is way better at basketball. Too bad Obama is too much of an elitist to relate to simple, working-class multimillionaire sports team owners. [Politico] Read more on John McCain Is President of Sports…
  real 'murkins

U.S. Troops Give Barack Obama Their Elitist ‘Money’

Oh ho ho: “According to an analysis of campaign contributions by the nonpartisan Center for Responsive Politics, Democrat Barack Obama has received nearly six times as much money from troops deployed overseas at the time of their contributions than has Republican John McCain, and the fiercely anti-war Ron Paul, though he suspended his campaign for the Republican nomination months ago, has received more than four times McCain’s haul.” Wow. Barack Obama hates American troops so much that he takes all of their money! [OpenSecrets via AMERICAblog] Read more on U.S. Troops Give Barack Obama Their Elitist ‘Money’…
  the fickle finger of fate

Obama Donors Won’t Bail Clinton Out

After all Hillary Clinton did for Barack Obama this primary season, you’d think his donors would show her a little more gratitude. She “made him a better candidate,” after all, by constantly reminding the world that he was a black Muslim elitist with a shitty, shitty bowling score and no plan for universal healthcare. But Obama’s most generous supporters have basically given her zero dollars to help retire her campaign debt, because these people are as stingy as Barack Obama himself. Read more on Obama Donors Won’t Bail Clinton Out…