Wonkette

Does Barack Obama have a “major league sports team owner” problem? It sure looks like it, because he has not raised nearly as much money from this crucial demographic as that other guy, John McCain. McCain has raised more than $3.2 million from major sports team owners and their families, while Barack Obama has raised only $615,000 — despite the fact that Obama is way better at basketball. Too bad Obama is too much of an elitist to relate to simple, working-class multimillionaire sports team owners. [Politico]

Oh ho ho: “According to an analysis of campaign contributions by the nonpartisan Center for Responsive Politics, Democrat Barack Obama has received nearly six times as much money from troops deployed overseas at the time of their contributions than has Republican John McCain, and the fiercely anti-war Ron Paul, though he suspended his campaign for the Republican nomination months ago, has received more than four times McCain’s haul.” Wow. Barack Obama hates American troops so much that he takes all of their money! [OpenSecrets via AMERICAblog]

After all Hillary Clinton did for Barack Obama this primary season, you’d think his donors would show her a little more gratitude. She “made him a better candidate,” after all, by constantly reminding the world that he was a black Muslim elitist with a shitty, shitty bowling score and no plan for universal healthcare. But Obama’s most generous supporters have basically given her zero dollars to help retire her campaign debt, because these people are as stingy as Barack Obama himself. MORE »

Now that Hillary is “out,” we will devote our full attention towards getting Mitt Romney on the Republican ticket and saving humor forever! And it looks like progress is being made on that front, according to Time’s Mark Halperin, who knows these terrible things. MORE »

Oh this is rich. You may remember when Hillary said in her speech tonight that she cannot make a Decision about the future, and that you should go to her website — www.HillaryClinton.com — to share your thoughts (and money). Sure enough, there’s a form! And how nice of Hillary to create this push poll for us, where she tells us exactly what to say. Now she can mention “all the passionate support” she’s received at some press conference in a few days when she announces her plans for Denver. So be sure to give Hillz your advice, but keep to the script. [Hillary Clinton]

John McCain and his drug addict trophy wife, Cindy, move their charitable donations through the aptly named John and Cindy McCain Foundation, of which Cindy is the chairman and president. These two are by far the biggest donors to this charity, which has donated more than a million dollars to America’s poor, starving, illegal Mexicans living secretly in McCain’s basement. The McCain’s favorite charities are those most in need: the various liberal elite private schools that his children attended, and which afford him tax breaks. MORE »

Chicago’s “Slum Landlord to the Stars,” Tony Rezko, was arrested for some “slum landlord” crime on Monday. Although Barack Obama, his ol’ pal from the community organizing days in the South Side, had claimed to not *really* have any interaction with this guy, he is now taking $150,000+ in Rezko-tainted donations and giving them to Charity, and this is a Hopeful Change. Chris Matthews and various Obamatards around the world will likely blame this on Hillary Clinton, because that’s what they do when their own candidate has fucked up. [Chicago Sun-Times]

Doug Feith, dumbest fucking guy on the planet, donated $2,300 to Fred Thompson. [Latest Politics]

• RFK Stadium? More like RF-Gay Stadium! [Worth Repeating]
• Bill Cosby takes on the WaPo, because nobody else will. [Poynter]
• Find out who your neighbors are backing, so as not to piss them off. [DC Campaign Data]
• Are you a Craigslist Douchebag? Oh yes you are. [LMNOP]
• A history of gentrification, with graphs. [The Goodspeed Update]

Help us out here, Slate’s not being sarcastic, right? This is actually a genuine plea to donate to Scooter Libby’s defense fund? Just to ensure that next January’s media circus is as entertaining as possible? Shit, they’re beating us to the WonkettePAC idea. MORE »