Donald Trump

What with all the other craziness that has gone on in Washington this fall, it only makes sense that Our Great Leader and Guiding Star of the Heavens Barack Obama would choose this moment to start quietly knocking off all the people involved in covering up the provenance of his obviously forged long-form birth certificate. […]

Short-fingered vulgarian Donald Trump excreted this little wisdom-nugget out onto the twittosphere this morning, sweeping away the old Horatio Alger myth and giving hope to millions who figure that they’re easily as smart as Donald Trump. Smartass nitpickers might point out that “supercede” is a transitive verb, and needs an object here, but they are […]

We guess Ben Shapiro has already run out of 20-year-old exposes about Al Sharpton and op-eds from George Zimmerman’s brother explaining how all black people are racist. Already, within three weeks of launching “TruthRevolt,” which is supposed to a Media Matters for the right except for the part where Media Matters doesn’t lie and stuff, […]

Clownish excrescence Donald Trump went on Larry King’s internet-teevee program (yes, such a thing exists) to say that he’s pretty sure that Hillary Clinton will be the Democratic nominee for president in 2016, unless of course she’s too old and frail by then. Trump speculated that 2016 looks good for Hillary, but it would be […]

And now, to round out your September 11, 2013, here’s Donald Trump. “Best wishes, even to the haters and losers.” And that’s what 9/11 is all about, Charlie Brown. [Twitter]

Can we just say that it can be a little nauseating to see so many Republicans saying a lot of the right things about Syria for all the wrong reasons? Of course, if Syria had any substantial oil reserves, the totally-serious-this-time possible presidential candidate might be singing a different tune, like that one time, so […]

To the shock and surprise of absolutely nobody, Donald Trump’s “Trump University” has been sued by the New York State attorney general’s office for illegal business practices. The suit seeks $40 million in restitution and accuses Trump and his staff of running an unlicensed educational institution and making false claims about its course offerings. “Trump […]

Wowsers, wonkadoodlers, we have a bona-fide catfight on our hands in Kentucky. Claws are coming out, and before long, we imagine that there will be hair-pulling, eye-gouging, and possibly bitch-slaps, all with words, of course. The primary battle between ninja-turtle-reject Sen. Mitch McConnell and Tea Party challenger Matt Bevin is quickly going from nasty to […]

You might think that after all the foofaraw and fuck-tussling over the birth certificate of Barack Hussein Obama, there’s no way in hell that the birther crowd would ever support a candidate who was indisputably born in a totally different country that is not the U.S.A., right? Don’t be silly. Birthers are coming forward to […]

The ratings for the network television programme “Mister Trump’s Funtimes Band of Drug Addicts With Assorted Levels of Brain Damage” must be in le shitter, again, because it is once more time for the quadrennial favorite, “Donald Trump pretends he is running for president, again, to gin up some wan interest in his stupid repetitive […]

So here is the “big surprise” that America missed because the first night of the 2012 Republican National Convention got hurricaned out. Of course, it ceased to be much of a “surprise” the second Trump announced he’d be doing something at the Convention (“Bet he’s going to say ‘you’re fired’ to an Obama look-alike,” said everyone, rolling […]

What the fuck is Donald Trump talking about, here, on the Twitter? What is Donald Trump EVER talking about? In this case, he seems to be asking us to sex up the late Libyan dictator’s corpse, for the YOOGEST, CLASSIEST corpse-fucking the world has ever known!

Ugh. We thought we were done with this IRSgate bullshit, since now Rep. Darrell Issa (R-Satan’s Bunghole) has been outed as Congress’s biggest assclown, whom no one should take seriously ever again. (Haha, “ever again” assumes facts not in evidence. Law talk!) But it seems that the non-scandal is turning out to be a scandal […]

You know what the problem is with this whole Edward Snowden/NSA leaks thing? Not nearly enough action! Donald Trump has a solution, though! We need some executions, just like we needed in the Central Park Five case! On Monday’s Fox & Friends (or as RawStory calls it, the “Republican morning talk show “Fox & Friends”), […]

Self-made son of a millionaire Donald Trump — who is only slightly more popular than Congress, which is significantly less popular than head lice — is not finished humiliating himself just yet. True to form, the man whose personal motto is More! Bigger! Tackier! Argle Bargle! is taking his totes real hair to Iowa to […]