Donald Trump
George Takei Takes One For The Team, Has Greatest, Classiest Lunch With Donald Trump
Inventor of Facebook George Takei went where no man should have to go: The Trump Tower Grill at the Trump Tower in New Trump City on the planet Trearth — the greatest and classiest of all the planets! He went to this place with Donald Trump.
Donald Trump Makes Five Million Dollar Bet With Irony, Loses
In an exclusive interview with NewsMax, because they are the only people who will talk to him without spitting in his hair-blanket, Donald Trump reveals that the GOP should not be as “mean spirited” going forward. “Republicans didn’t have anything going for them with respect to Latinos and with respect to Asians,” the billionaire developer [...]
Trump’s Vegas Restaurant Gains Popularity Among Bacterial Culture Community
It’s been roughly twenty minutes since our boy Donald Q. Worthington Trump has been in the news, so here’s some background in case you’re unfamiliar with the underreported saga of everyone’s favorite honey-tinted quaff: The Donald is a massively successful businessman who owns pretty much everything you could imagine owning. Trump is also a popular [...]
This $100,000 Chicken Coop Will Win You A ‘First Place’ Against ‘The Wall’ When ‘The Revolution’ ‘Comes’
It’s that time of year again! Time for the Neiman Marcus Fantasy Christmas Book of Charming Gifts for the guy at Papa Johns! Can you stand the excitement? Neither can we! But while there are plenty of stupid ways to blow the greasy wads of cash that have turned you from human being to Donald [...]
GOP Superhero Donald Trump Calls For Revolution, Changes Mind
You saw it happen, folks. You sat on your big butt and you watched Barack Obama, who was not born in America, steal the election — again — so that he can ruin the country and impose sharia law. He had four years to impose his evil Muslim ways, and he didn’t, but that’s not [...]
Donald Trump Finding New And Exciting Ways To Be Ridiculous About Hurricane Sandy
First things first: the lady yelling at Chuck Schumer in the Fox & Friends video below is AMAZING, and obviously did the “Jill” voiceover for the Adam Sandler masterpiece Jack and an Unfortunate Appearance by Al Pacino. Second things second: Noted philanthropist Donald Trump is always good to have around to explain that why would [...]
Sad Clown Donald Trump Declines To Release School Records, Because It’s ‘Stupid’
You know all those times when there’s a negative story about someone, and somewhere in the middle there’s a little paragraph about how Shitty Old So-And-So refused comment for the story? Like, because there’s nothing intelligent to say and no legitimate justification for whatever the story’s about? Donald Trump’s spokesman, much like the Man Himself, [...]
Insane, Crabby Lesbian Jack Welch Quits ‘Fortune’ Like A Little Bitch
Hey remember last week? Probably not, it was last week. Well that was when the new jobs numbers came out, putting unemployment below 8 percent for the first time in President Afrika Bambaata’s presidency and destroying in one blow eight million Miffed Romney speeches about how B. Barry Bamz was too lazy to make jobs [...]
Ben Bernanke’s Hip-Hop Barbecue Will Probably Not Create Jobs
How exciting, soon we will be in the midst of a third round of quantitative easing! Does this mean we should break out the Korbel and celebrate? No, it probably does not, because like most of our economic policies, it will mostly benefit Incorporated Americans and people with lots of investments and will punish Poors [...]
A Children’s Treasury of Donald Trump Hollering At Former Wonkette Writers
What happens to our former scribes when they leave the fairest pastures of Your Wonkette for the “real world”? Some of them go to Time, some start cults in the desert, some come back to Wonkette for additional “funnin’ on the Internet.” Everyone else just gets yelled at by Donald Trump after writing funny insults [...]
Donald Trump To Unleash ‘Big Surprise’ On Republican National Convention
Today I am working on my ‘big surprise’ for the @rnc convention. Everyone will love it. — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 14, 2012 That is the promise of Donald Trump, who is among the most prominent delusional psychopaths participating in the RNC this year (but certainly not the only one!). Although he did once [...]
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