Donald Trump

Over the weekend, we pointed you to a pretty excellent Buzzfeed profile of Donald Trump, gentle soul and friend to the animals. It was such a good profile that at times Donald Trump even came off as a gracious, generous guy (complexity!) instead of a lowlife entitled thug assclown! Yes, that Donald Trump! Why, it […]

Are you enjoying your slow news week? You should. The last time we complained about a news day being slow, Newtown happened, and we haven’t complained about a slow news day since. Here are some lovely longreads, dropped simultaneously by outlets that apparently have a well of shit at the ready to run on slow […]

When you think “male fashion plate,” who comes to mind? Tim Gunn? David Beckham? Haha of course not. You think Donald Trump because shiny ties and dead-squirrel-on-your-head hair is where it is AT. Mr. Blackwell Trump puts Obama on his worst-dressed list this year for failing to rock a signature sheentastic Trump-style tie during his […]

Do you enjoy complicated stories about high-profile Internet journalists and their lying and stealing and going to prison-ing yet somehow keeping their jobs? No, this is not about Dok Zoom or me. Over the weekend, Mediaite managing editor Jon Nicosia wrote a casual column about how he is a two-time felon working under a fake […]

It certainly took bloody long enough, but Sen. Ted “100% Americanlike” Cruz (R-Poutine) is finally taking action to formally renounce his Canadian citizenship, which was conferred on him at birth by virtue of being born at the top of the CN Tower in beautiful downtown Calgary, in the province of Algeria. He confirmed in an […]

What with all the other craziness that has gone on in Washington this fall, it only makes sense that Our Great Leader and Guiding Star of the Heavens Barack Obama would choose this moment to start quietly knocking off all the people involved in covering up the provenance of his obviously forged long-form birth certificate. […]

Short-fingered vulgarian Donald Trump excreted this little wisdom-nugget out onto the twittosphere this morning, sweeping away the old Horatio Alger myth and giving hope to millions who figure that they’re easily as smart as Donald Trump. Smartass nitpickers might point out that “supercede” is a transitive verb, and needs an object here, but they are […]

We guess Ben Shapiro has already run out of 20-year-old exposes about Al Sharpton and op-eds from George Zimmerman’s brother explaining how all black people are racist. Already, within three weeks of launching “TruthRevolt,” which is supposed to a Media Matters for the right except for the part where Media Matters doesn’t lie and stuff, […]

Clownish excrescence Donald Trump went on Larry King’s internet-teevee program (yes, such a thing exists) to say that he’s pretty sure that Hillary Clinton will be the Democratic nominee for president in 2016, unless of course she’s too old and frail by then. Trump speculated that 2016 looks good for Hillary, but it would be […]

And now, to round out your September 11, 2013, here’s Donald Trump. “Best wishes, even to the haters and losers.” And that’s what 9/11 is all about, Charlie Brown. [Twitter]

Can we just say that it can be a little nauseating to see so many Republicans saying a lot of the right things about Syria for all the wrong reasons? Of course, if Syria had any substantial oil reserves, the totally-serious-this-time possible presidential candidate might be singing a different tune, like that one time, so […]

To the shock and surprise of absolutely nobody, Donald Trump’s “Trump University” has been sued by the New York State attorney general’s office for illegal business practices. The suit seeks $40 million in restitution and accuses Trump and his staff of running an unlicensed educational institution and making false claims about its course offerings. “Trump […]

Wowsers, wonkadoodlers, we have a bona-fide catfight on our hands in Kentucky. Claws are coming out, and before long, we imagine that there will be hair-pulling, eye-gouging, and possibly bitch-slaps, all with words, of course. The primary battle between ninja-turtle-reject Sen. Mitch McConnell and Tea Party challenger Matt Bevin is quickly going from nasty to […]

You might think that after all the foofaraw and fuck-tussling over the birth certificate of Barack Hussein Obama, there’s no way in hell that the birther crowd would ever support a candidate who was indisputably born in a totally different country that is not the U.S.A., right? Don’t be silly. Birthers are coming forward to […]

The ratings for the network television programme “Mister Trump’s Funtimes Band of Drug Addicts With Assorted Levels of Brain Damage” must be in le shitter, again, because it is once more time for the quadrennial favorite, “Donald Trump pretends he is running for president, again, to gin up some wan interest in his stupid repetitive […]