Donald Trump
Donald Trump Steps Up To Fill The Bachmann-Shaped Hole In American Comedy
Donald Trump wants America to know that he’s not going to fade away. Not that anyone had any realistic hopes that he would. A National Review puff piece today says that Trump is once again suggesting he may run for president, because America Needs Him. This is excellent news for anyone who may have thought [...]
With ‘Rot’ In Missile Crews And All The Rapiness, Air Force Faces Severe Purity Of Essence Gap
Wonkers of the Cold War era (which is like all but seven of you, right?) may remember the somber documentaries about the grim job of manning missile silos, with the narrator intoning that the 2-man crews had standing orders to shoot their partner if he went insane. (This may not actually be true, but we [...]
Donald Trump Thinks Up Totally Sick Burn: Jon Stewart Is A Jew
Hey, remember that time Donald Trump (ALLEGEDLY!) referred to someone as “That faggot Jew”?
Who Is A Better Artist, George W. Bush or Jose Canseco?
Jose Canseco has been doing Art, you guys. The wise dragondragon above is titled “Donald Trump the Wise Dragondragon.”
Donald Trump Reminds Us: Black People Not Allowed In Park
Hey, there is a really big national story going down right now — you know what that means! It’s time for the snide, slithering publicity slug that is Donald J. Trump to attempt to expand his shit-stain of public influence by gurgling up trite, inaccurate pond-spooge and passing it off as legitimate social commentary. This [...]
Boston Manhunt Ends Without Need For Waterboarding Or Wayne LaPierre
OK, Wonketteers, what seemed extremely unlikely has actually happened: Johnny Law has captured Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, the surviving suspect in the Boston Marathon bombing, and they did so without having to torture anyone, disregard the Constitution, or rely on a self-appointed army of Barney Fifes to do it. And since he was captured rather than shot [...]
Donald Trump And His Wife Are Awful And Their Son Tastes Like Caviar
DISCLAIMER: This is not a joke. This is a real actual thing. It seems like a joke because it is RIDIC, but just remember that this is a real actual thing: Melania Trump, model, businesswoman and wife of Donald Trump, doesn’t cut corners when it comes to raising her son, Barron. When it comes to [...]
Donald Trump Complains U.S. Border With Europe Too Secure, Keeping All the Good Whites Out
Crusty pustule Donald Trump was obviously absent from school the day they taught children how to distinguish green from blue on maps. While his private team of investigators is still looking into whether Hawaii is in fact part of these United States, The Hair haz a confusion about borders too and how the fuck do [...]
Happy Fun Gingrich Offers To Be Human Sacrifice On Donald Trump’s Dumb Teevee Show
Here is a fun marketing fact: Yr. Doktor Zoom lives in Boise, Idaho, which is among the top locations for test-marketing new products in our great nation. Apparently, we have certain demographic characterisitics (doughy, gun-fondling, dog-owning) that are useful predictors of how a new product might sell. It’s sometimes pretty obvious, when for three weeks [...]
Bill O’Reilly Making Even Less Sense Than Usual, Lauds Ted Nugent’s Doubleplus Goodthink
Here is another video of Bill O’Reilly not making a hell of a lot of sense. Follow this logic: He starts by saying that Barack Obama “has been somewhat successful in demonizing Republicans,” a point which he illustrates with a clip of Bobby Jindal saying the GOP needs to “stop being the stupid party” and [...]
Deadspin Tells Donald Trump What America Has Been Thinking For Years
There’s really not much more we can add, unless maybe it’s this observation by GQ editor Freddie Campion: “You know you’re having a good week when this is only the second best thing you’ve published in less than 24 hours.”
Donald Trump Acts Like Petulant Child To Surprise Of Absolutely No One
As if there were any doubt that Donald Trump is the world’s richest cranky toddler, the useless sack of bile is now pursuing a vendetta against the distiller of Glenfiddich whiskey after the company sponsored a contest that honored an opponent of a golf resort that Trump plans to build in Scotland. Trump’s latest case [...]
blog advertising is good for you
