Donald Trump

Welcome to another edition of Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we bring you a bunch of stories that didn’t quite merit a post of their own, but that were far too stupid to ignore altogether. Apply alcohol directly to your central processing unit as needed. Or your computer’s. For the second week in a […]

Have you heard about how the liberal gay mafia fascists who hate diversity lynch mobbed that sweet nice man, Brendan Eich, who was CEO of Mozilla until he was killed by the evil gay agenda? Of course you have, because whiners gonna whine, and oh dear lord, they cannot stop whining about how unfair and […]

Welcome to another edition of Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we steam-clean our browser tabs and scrape together all the stories that weren’t worth their own posts, but were too stupid to ignore altogether. We recommend you numb yourself against the dumbassery that is sure to follow. Our Top Derp for this week comes […]

So here is your nontroversy of the afternoon: Donald Trump is furious that Barack Obama has mentioned the possibility of a terrorist nuclear attack on Manhattan, because, as he told Fox News’s Greta Van Susteren today, the President “just put a big target on Manhattan.” Damn you, Obama! If only you had kept Manhattan a […]

Normally, we rely on our sister site, HappyNiceTimePeople.com, to cover people who are famous for being famous. But every now and then, some no-talent celebrity decides to wade into politics, despite a complete lack of resume and credentials, and we are forced to mock them back to the realm of do-nothingness. Giant-headed moon enthusiast Newt […]

We haven’t been much on the “All In With Chris Hayes” tip for our clipbait, but yesterday Hayes unpacked the delightfully terrifying and terrifyingly delightful Twitter feed of one Rupert Murdoch. Truly, we do not think anyone else is running Murdoch’s feed, because the tweets have the same level of unfiltered lunacy of Donald Trump’s […]

The Gaylord National Resort is more than just a hotel with a name that makes pubescent boys snicker. It’s also a glassed-in mini-city with living trees and actual birds and tiny houses that hold patriotic gear stores and, for the second year, it is the Land of CPAC. Come along and let us visit this […]

Donald Trump, always good for a laugh, arrived at CPAC today ready to be as impressive as ever. Consider this on-the-spot report from Huffpo’s Sam Stein: Trump just rolled in w/ about 12 security guards. “Any thoughts on Ukraine?” I asked. “I am,” he said. “What?” I asked. He walked on The man is like […]

We have quite a range of incoherent shouting for you in today’s visit to the ol’ comment queue, so let’s jump right in and unleash the ugly vile little snark mob, shall we? Let us begin with “bmmg39,” who had a bone to pick with all of us for our stupid-headed failure to recognize that […]

Oh, this is a very special update to yesterday’s YOOGE Donald Trump News from Ghost Breitbart’s Internet Home for the Perpetually Aggrieved. As you may recall, rancid Breitbart horcrux Matthew Boyle discovered a terrible, terrible thing about Buzzfeed writer McKay Coppins: Coppins wrote something negative about Trump, and said unthinkable things, despicable things, things so […]

Over the weekend, we pointed you to a pretty excellent Buzzfeed profile of Donald Trump, gentle soul and friend to the animals. It was such a good profile that at times Donald Trump even came off as a gracious, generous guy (complexity!) instead of a lowlife entitled thug assclown! Yes, that Donald Trump! Why, it […]

Are you enjoying your slow news week? You should. The last time we complained about a news day being slow, Newtown happened, and we haven’t complained about a slow news day since. Here are some lovely longreads, dropped simultaneously by outlets that apparently have a well of shit at the ready to run on slow […]

When you think “male fashion plate,” who comes to mind? Tim Gunn? David Beckham? Haha of course not. You think Donald Trump because shiny ties and dead-squirrel-on-your-head hair is where it is AT. Mr. Blackwell Trump puts Obama on his worst-dressed list this year for failing to rock a signature sheentastic Trump-style tie during his […]

Do you enjoy complicated stories about high-profile Internet journalists and their lying and stealing and going to prison-ing yet somehow keeping their jobs? No, this is not about Dok Zoom or me. Over the weekend, Mediaite managing editor Jon Nicosia wrote a casual column about how he is a two-time felon working under a fake […]

It certainly took bloody long enough, but Sen. Ted “100% Americanlike” Cruz (R-Poutine) is finally taking action to formally renounce his Canadian citizenship, which was conferred on him at birth by virtue of being born at the top of the CN Tower in beautiful downtown Calgary, in the province of Algeria. He confirmed in an […]