Wonkette

Rumsfeld had a “change of heart” and decided to actually listen to Congress and show up and deny killing Pat Tillman. These are funny times, as you can usually tell when the sacked Secretary of Defense testifies before a House Committee investigating the fratricide of NFL/Army hero Pat Tillman and the coordinated (but ultimately botched) conspiracy to hide the murder. MORE »

It’s almost too depressing to mention again, but let’s recap the Pat Tillman revelations from Army medical examiners and internal Pentagon reports released last week and find out what happens when famous football stars turned Army Heroes become anti-war critics: MORE »

This week, Michael Steele, Adam Kokesh, Clint Borgen, John Edwards, Donald Rumsfeld, Gabrielle Carteris, Patrick Fitzgerald, and Fred Thompson were all spotted being various degrees of famous at various places by our spies and operatives. Voyeuristic fun, as always, is after the jump.

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It’s another installment of get-what-you-pay-for Wonk’d featuring James Carville and his incessantly opaque metaphors, Chris Matthews and his inability to dress or eat like a normal person, Newt Gingrich pretending to love all God’s children, and God’s warrior himself, Donald Rumsfeld, fighting like he was in The Warriors — and trying to make it out of New York alive.

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Do you dream of spending hundreds of billions of other people’s money to fuck up entire regions of the Earth while killing hundreds of thousands of people? Is your idea of “progress” daily cargo planes filled with dead Americans? Wondering how to turn a moment of national tragedy into a six-year global bloodbath? Dreaming of doing exactly what Osama bin Ladens tells you to do? MORE »

We’re not historians like the previous winner of the coveted Churchill award, “300″ director Victor Davis Hanson, but didn’t Winston win his war? Because we’re pretty sure Rumsfeld lost every war, and that he also started all those wars, which would make him the natural choice for the less-prestigious Hitler Award. MORE »

It’s bad enough that every single thing the administration has claimed from September 11 onward has been a complete lie, and that they’ve shamed America with two lost wars and drowned cities and record graft and seething hatred of Family Values. But when the only real Hero of the doomed occupations turned out to be a Bush critic who was literally shot dead by his fellow Army Rangers, a dazed and broken nation decided to focus on snack foods and porn again. MORE »

Donald Rumsfeld has some bathroom issues that Robert Novak can smell clear across town, Ed Harris and John Voight kick themselves for taking advice from frat boys, and Chris Matthews makes sure his tips are properly frosted. All this, plus Ted Koppel without the helmet and why you should begin fearing Michelle Malkin’s kids now.

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* WAMU employees quit together in walk out, Diane Rehm’s head explodes. [Sam Smith's City Desk]
* Running and biking and trails in Arlington. [What's Up Arlington]
* Komi chef Johnny Monis on Food & Wine’s Best New Chef 2007 list. [Komi]
* David Arquette got friendly with some ladies on Monday night. Photos! [BYT]
* It is National Poetry Month, so Olsson’s in Old Town “invites customers to come in and read their favorite poems or their own work every Thursday night.” This begins at 7PM tonight. [The Happy Booker]

We will be sharing our favorite poem, Donald Rumsfeld’s “The Glass Box.” (Read it yourself, after the jump.)

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The “scandal” at the Los Angeles Times op-ed department about celebrity guest editors or whatever was only of interest to the 97,839 current and former reporters from the little-known California newspaper — until shamed Pentagon criminal Donald Rumsfeld was brought into the mix this weekend.

Learn about the most boring whiny-assed people in the world (journalists) and their banal problems, after the jump.

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