Tag: donald rumsfeld

In Hacked Emails, Colin Powell Gossips About Trump, Benghazi, Those Dicks Who Effed Up Iraq

Recently hacked emails from Colin Powell reveal him being far more honest than a former diplomat usually would be. Imagine that!

Wonkagenda: September 14, 2016

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Alabama’s Richard Shelby, In Office A Million Years, May Be Glued To Seat: Your Senate Sunday

Alabama's Richard Shelby has been in the U.S. Senate since the Reagan administration. That seems about long enough, don't you think?
all woman, no kidneys

Rejoice! New Barbie Body Types Will Enhance Self-Esteem Of Mattel Shareholders

This week we'll talk about dolls, soda and lying because deep down, like most of us, our Corporate Persons are runny-nosed little kids. Barbie's new curves not as hot as some of the takes they're producing Barbie! She's...

Donald Rumsfeld To Spend His Eighties Murdering Fewer People

If anybody can take an announcement like "I've decided to spend my dotage exercising my brain and not killing people, by making a fun card game I hope people will love" and turn it into a senile ramble about...
Him?

Daddy Bush Says It’s Dick’s Fault Dubya Was A Idiot

Damn it, Poppy, you were a lot more likable when you were flashing your fabulous stripey socks and doing gay-lesbian weddings and jumping out of planes for your 117th birthday. Why, we could almost forget that you were the one...
This one was pretty much mandatory

Jeb! Bush Remembers That One Time His Brother Won The Iraq War

Jeb! Bush would just like you all to know what a terrific job his brother George did in Iraq. No really, you may have thought it was a quagmire with thousands of dead Americans and hundreds of thousands of...
Don't call it torture. Call it nostalgia

CIA Chief: Torture Is Bad, We Shouldn’t Do It, Now Please Shut Up About It

CIA Director John Brennan held a press conference today to respond to the Senate Intelligence Committee's report on torture during the Bush administration, and he gave a very clear message: The CIA is good, torture is bad, it's hard...

Donald Rumsfeld Has Nothing To Say About Torture, But He’d Like Your Money

Remember the good old days, of, say, 2004, before we knew for an absolute fact that our government was torturing the hell out of detainees? All we had then were rumors and some photographs and maybe some videos and...

Josh Romney And Donald Rumsfeld Have Thoughts On Tax Day (They Are Giant Dicks About It)

Imagine you are Josh Romney. A couple of years ago your daddy ran for a big job, and that job was President of the United States. In the course of running for this job, quite a few people said...

Jon Stewart On The Bush Torture Program: Cheney Lies, Rumsfeld Denies, Bush Makes Pretty Pictures

Here's Jon Stewart with a discussion of the Senate's report on the CIA's "super-aggressive terrorist suspect spa treatments." Hope he doesn't get too emotional! Best line (we love spoilers), in response to Dianne Feinstein's "This is not what Americans...

Let Us Watch The Trailer For Errol Morris’s Documentary About Donald Rumsfeld And Seethe Together

I cut way back on my moviegoing at least a decade ago because after several years of living and working in Hollywood and seeing how the sausage gets made, so many movies filled me with an incandescent rage. So...

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special We Are Terrible At Healthcare And Public Art Edition

Have you been reading a lot of smart takes, a lot of thinkpieces, about how much the computer-y part of the healthcare roll out sucks, and the gubmint should have magically figured out a way to sign up oodles...

Murderous Charlatan Donald Rumsfeld Still Terrible At Math

Here is a link to a video, since CNN's embed code is totally borked, for anyone who cares what a disgraced and discredited old sociopath thinks about anything. It is your third most favorite unindicted war criminal, Donald Rumsfeld!...

Fox News Finds Iraq’s Missing WMDs Right Where Saddam Hid Them, In Syria, Iran, Sudan, North Korea And Probably France

Ladies and gentlemen, our long national nightmare is over. Fox News "military analyst" retired Lt. Gen. Thomas McInerny has found the Weapons of Mass Destruction, and they are at points east, west, north and south of Syria, because why...

A Childrens’ Treasury Of People You Never Wanted To Think About Ever Again

Since this month marks the ten-year anniversary of the War to Soothe George W. Bush’s Daddy Issues, and because our blood pressure has not skyrocketed to the point where it blew out the cuff the nurse strapped around our...