Tag Archives: don sherwood

 

Rumors On The Internets: That’s Not a War Face

* Scooter Libby is just another persecuted Scientologist. [Outside the Beltway] * John Edwards goes live tonight using same video chat software your favorite porn sites use. [John Edwards] * This thing doesn’t look like that thing. [C&L] * Bill Keller thinks your newspaper sucks. [Romenesko] * Nancy Pelosi has spendy outfits. [MoJo] * Hu Jintao is, apparently, the master of his domain. [Dean’s World] * Product placement in future SOTUs is a magic money teet. [Matthew Yglesias] * Don Sherwood is the kind of guy that would choke a woman and not have the common courtesy to make his hush money payments. [The Politico] Read more on Rumors On The Internets: That’s Not a War Face…
 

Good-bye To the Pennsylvania Strangler!

We’ll miss you, Republican Congressman Don Sherwood. 54-46 is the current breakdown. Campaign visits by Cheney and Bush did not help, obviously. He ran a great campaign. Stranglin’ Sherwood always claimed that he didn’t really strangle the bitch. Sure, he paid her half a million dollars to shut up until tomorrow, but that’s just politics! Good-bye, Don. See you in Hell, you sick sack of trash. (And that means the Dems need just two seats?) Can we run the campaign poster once again, for old time’s sake? Okay, after the jump. Read more on Good-bye To the Pennsylvania Strangler!…
 

Crazy Poll Worker Thinks He’s Don Sherwood

The best “vote suppression” story of the day comes from Louisville, Kentucky. Details are few, but we do know that a poll worker has been charged with strangling a voter and then throwing said voter out the door. Read more on Crazy Poll Worker Thinks He’s Don Sherwood…
 

Don Sherwood Nearly Strangles Voting Machine

Our favorite mistress-strangling Pennsylvania congressman went to his polling place today and, like most old people, had no idea how to cast his vote. As he stood at the new electronic voting machine, Mr. Sherwood quickly made his selections, but then ran into a glitch. “How do I send it?” he asked a poll worker. The woman instructed him to hit the red “vote” button at the top and then confirm. We can only conclude that he really was only trying to give his mistress a “backrub” and then accidentally strangled her because he’s legally retarded. Read more on Don Sherwood Nearly Strangles Voting Machine…
 

Bitch-Chokers Stick Together

…or, as an astute tipster put it, “Congressman McChokey Gets Help From Congressman McSmacky.” New York Rep John Sweeney (who [allegedly] grabbed his wife by the neck and knocked her around the house) donated $1,000 last week to Pennsylvania Rep. Don Sherwood (who [allegedly] strangled his 20-something mistress, then paid her $500 grand in hush money). Read more on Bitch-Chokers Stick Together…
 

Rumors On The Internets: More Like Warren G. Hard-on

George Allen’s campaign is broke, sends memo threatening 50 lashes to any staffer caught deserting their station. [Hotline On Call] NRCC held containment meetings while Pagefuckergate was still a twinkle in Brian Ross’s eye. [Talk Left] Read more on Rumors On The Internets: More Like Warren G. Hard-on…
 

Li’l Scandal Roundup: Cold November Rain

We’ll stop when they stop. * You loved Jim Gibbons for October scandals such as “Drunken Sexual Assault” and “Hide the Illegals In the Basement.” But all Gibbons offers this week is the less sensational scandal of giving millions of dollars worth of no-bid federal contracts to his friend’s business, while said friend lavished unreported gifts upon Gibbons. [Reno Gazette Journal] Read more on Li’l Scandal Roundup: Cold November Rain…
 

Is Don Sherwood Gonna Have to Choke a Bitch?

Here, apparently, are photos of Don Sherwood’s mistress. The one he choked. Are they real? Is it the right lady? Who knows! It’s late October! (UPDATE: We had posted a screenshot from the comical Sherwood For Congress site, but nearly five months later, whoever took the pictures of the woman came crying to Wonkette because we had a screenshot of another website that [allegedly] posted a photograph taken by this dude. So now we have removed the screenshot of the other website. Hilariously, all those pictures remain on the other website, Sherwood For Congress, which you can see by clicking here.) Read more on Is Don Sherwood Gonna Have to Choke a Bitch?…
 

Strangler and Chief

Yes, that’s Don “Pennsylvania Strangler” Sherwood and George “They Gave Me an Ice Cream” Bush at a fund-raising ho-down in Sherwood’s district. And with that, National Character Counts Week comes to a noble close. Read more on Strangler and Chief…
 

Putin Considering GOP Candidacy

Republican insiders say Russian dictator Vladimir Putin is starting to look like an excellent candidate for the GOP in 2008. But it’s not just because he’s a big-spending fascist. Turns out Putin is also a fan of rape and murder! (And inappropriate oral contact with young boys … never forget!) Read more on Putin Considering GOP Candidacy…
 

President Celebrates National Character Week With Appearances For Bitch-Choker, Oldest Living Confederate Jew

Via Hit & Run: With only two days left in character week, President Bush is stumping for two of our very favorite characters. WHITE HOUSE (AP) – President Bush is campaigning for two GOP lawmakers today, as Republicans struggle to maintain their grip on Congress. The president’s speaking at a fund-raiser for Virginia Senator George Allen in Richmond, and one for Pennsylvania Congressman Don Sherwood at Keystone College. Read more on President Celebrates National Character Week With Appearances For Bitch-Choker, Oldest Living Confederate Jew…
 

Flogging Dead Horses Is Very Bad, Strangling Mistresses Is Totally Forgivable

A Wonkette operative living in Don “Chokehold” Sherwood’s district kindly forwarded us a “personal letter” from the Chokin’ Congressman’s poor wife. The terrible thing has been direct-mailed all over the 10th district, turning Carol Sherwood’s private agony into common junk mail. We’ve got the whole sadly hilarious thing, after the jump. Read more on Flogging Dead Horses Is Very Bad, Strangling Mistresses Is Totally Forgivable…
 

The Pennsylvania Strangler

We love Don Sherwood. It’s not like he’s the only congressman who strangles his mistress, but he is the only one who got caught strangling his mistress. It seems like Don is making new fans every day. Read more on The Pennsylvania Strangler…
 

Pennsylvania Strangler Doesn’t Need Hastert

How hard has the Mark Foley Cocktober Surprise hit the Republicans right now? It’s made two of their congressional leaders so radioactive that Don “Sometimes You Gotta Strangle a Bitch” Sherwood doesn’t want them campaigning for him. Read more on Pennsylvania Strangler Doesn’t Need Hastert…
 

Cheney Understands … Sometimes You Just Need To Strangle the Bitch

Remember Don Sherwood, the 65-year-old Pennsylvania congressman who got busted for reportedly trying to strangle this young gal he was fucking? Dick Cheney raised $180,000 for the Pennsylvania Strangler at a fundraiser held in some mansion in Centermoreland Township last month. Bush even did one of those “Vote for the Strangler” phone messages. Democrat Chris Carney is leading in the race, mostly because of Sherwood’s bizarre sex scandal. “Sherwood Denies Choking Woman” was the first hilarious headline in the Wilkes-Barre Times Leader. The next day’s headline is just as good: “Republicans rallying to help Sherwood get past report.” More fun, after the jump. Read more on Cheney Understands … Sometimes You Just Need To Strangle the Bitch…
 

Rumors On The Internets: The Five Letter “F” Word

Foley’s replacement on the GOP ticket in Florida has never even heard of himself. [TPMMuckraker] It wasn’t just teenage boys. Mark Foley also liked to “cut open illegal Ecuadorian immigrants and fuck their still pumping aortas.” [Rude Pundit] Read more on Rumors On The Internets: The Five Letter “F” Word…