Wonkette

* Scooter Libby is just another persecuted Scientologist. [Outside the Beltway]
* John Edwards goes live tonight using same video chat software your favorite porn sites use. [John Edwards]
* This thing doesn’t look like that thing. [C&L]
* Bill Keller thinks your newspaper sucks. [Romenesko]
* Nancy Pelosi has spendy outfits. [MoJo]
* Hu Jintao is, apparently, the master of his domain. [Dean's World]
* Product placement in future SOTUs is a magic money teet. [Matthew Yglesias]
* Don Sherwood is the kind of guy that would choke a woman and not have the common courtesy to make his hush money payments. [The Politico]

We’ll miss you, Republican Congressman Don Sherwood.

54-46 is the current breakdown. Campaign visits by Cheney and Bush did not help, obviously.

He ran a great campaign. Stranglin’ Sherwood always claimed that he didn’t really strangle the bitch. Sure, he paid her half a million dollars to shut up until tomorrow, but that’s just politics!

Good-bye, Don. See you in Hell, you sick sack of trash. (And that means the Dems need just two seats?) Can we run the campaign poster once again, for old time’s sake? Okay, after the jump.

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The best “vote suppression” story of the day comes from Louisville, Kentucky. MORE »

Our favorite mistress-strangling Pennsylvania congressman went to his polling place today and, like most old people, had no idea how to cast his vote.

As he stood at the new electronic voting machine, Mr. Sherwood quickly made his selections, but then ran into a glitch. “How do I send it?” he asked a poll worker. The woman instructed him to hit the red “vote” button at the top and then confirm.

We can only conclude that he really was only trying to give his mistress a “backrub” and then accidentally strangled her because he’s legally retarded. MORE »

…or, as an astute tipster put it, “Congressman McChokey Gets Help From Congressman McSmacky.” MORE »

• George Allen’s campaign is broke, sends memo threatening 50 lashes to any staffer caught deserting their station. [Hotline On Call]

• NRCC held containment meetings while Pagefuckergate was still a twinkle in Brian Ross’s eye. [Talk Left]
• Today is the birthday of former President Warren G. “Original Regulator” Harding, best known for holding the title of “Worst President Ever” from 1921 through 2003. [This Day in Mythstory]
• OMFG! Barack Obama involved in shady deal! Tells crime boss, “I’ll mow your lawn if you mow mine.” [The Volokh Conspiracy]
• Tom DeLay defines torture as, “things Jackie Chan does to bad guys.” [Think Progress]
• New marijuana legislation on the West coast will require that police, “just be cool, man.” [MoJo Blog]
• Not that anyone will care, but all the details on Don “Choke ‘Em If Ya Got ‘Um” Sherwood should be available November 8th . [Political Wire]
• Hell, we’d just as soon vote for this guy as any of the other losers this year. [YouTube]

We’ll stop when they stop. MORE »

Here, apparently, are photos of Don Sherwood’s mistress. The one he choked. Are they real? Is it the right lady? Who knows! It’s late October! MORE »

Yes, that’s Don “Pennsylvania Strangler” Sherwood and George “They Gave Me an Ice Cream” Bush at a fund-raising ho-down in Sherwood’s district. MORE »

Republican insiders say Russian dictator Vladimir Putin is starting to look like an excellent candidate for the GOP in 2008. But it’s not just because he’s a big-spending fascist. Turns out Putin is also a fan of rape and murder! (And inappropriate oral contact with young boys … never forget!) MORE »

Via Hit & Run: With only two days left in character week, President Bush is stumping for two of our very favorite characters. MORE »

A Wonkette operative living in Don “Chokehold” Sherwood’s district kindly forwarded us a “personal letter” from the Chokin’ Congressman’s poor wife.

The terrible thing has been direct-mailed all over the 10th district, turning Carol Sherwood’s private agony into common junk mail. We’ve got the whole sadly hilarious thing, after the jump.

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We love Don Sherwood. It’s not like he’s the only congressman who strangles his mistress, but he is the only one who got caught strangling his mistress. MORE »