Tag: doma

Sexxxy Barack Obama Throatcramming America With Gayness. Again!

You know he's only issuing gay pride proclamations because he's a secret cocaine hooker.

Something Good Happened For Gays In Mississippi, Even Though That Is UNPOSSIBLE

Y'all listen up, for we actually have a #NiceTime involving gaywad-sexuals what live in Mississippi! We mentioned when we reported on the state's horrific, most-insane-in-the-nation "religious freedom" bill, that a mean federal judge had just ruled that it is not...
She doesn't hate the gays. Really.

Dear The Gays: STFU About Hillary’s ‘Anti-Gay’ Email

Did everybody hear the news?! All the journalists have heard the news, of course, that there are MOAR HILLARY EMAILS!!!!11! for everybody to obsessively finger through like a Duggar in his sisters' bedroom. And one of the (!!!) revelations is that,...
But they won't.

Dumb Tennessee Republicans Have New Plan To Ban Gay Marriage. It Is A Stupid Plan.

Oh, Tennessee. You are such a pretty state, and yet you house some of the biggest A Idiots ever to have been whelped onto American soil. So these two Tennessee lawmakers, state Sen. Mae Beavers (it's a perfectly nice...
Now they've even destroyed the sanctity of divorce

Supreme Court Losers Lose Their Sh*t Over Gay Marriage, And It’s Delightful

It turns out that not every single U.S. American is sexcitedly happy dancing because the Supreme Court confirmed that, per the Constitution, the Constitution is for everybody. Like, some of the justices on the Supreme Court (but not enough of...
Mission accomplished!

How SCOTUS Decided To Turn America Gay: A Wonksplainer

In case you missed it, WE ARE ALL GAY MARRIED NOW. If you are a nerd, or a proud American, you might want to know exactly how the Supreme Court made that decision. And we are here to help,...
We could just drop gays on Iran. Or Tom Cotton.

Sen. Tom Cotton Says Gays Should Be Glad They’re Not Hung

Arkansas Sen. Tom Cotton (R-Logan Act) has just about had it up to here with people fussing about "religious freedom" bills in Indiana and Arkansas, when we have far more important fish to fry, like undercutting the President on...

How We Stopped Worrying And Learned To Love Gay-Baiting Aaron Schock

The internet is abuzz with the resignation of fresh-faced congressbottom Aaron Schock, mired as he has been in allegations of ethics violation after ethics violation after gay ethics violation. We are sure we will find out more in coming...
Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort Heidi.

Ted Cruz Has Had It With You Federales Gaying Up Those Nice Straight Red States

You guys, Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Not Gonna Be President) did not get the memo. You know the one. It reads "Hey, we're all cool with gays doing marriage to each other now. Xoxoxo, Most of U.S. America." Yeah, he...
The threat is real.

Whoopsie! Nebraska Gun Humpers Accidentally Recognize Gay Marriage

The Nebraska legislature, in its zeal to give as many guns to as many people as fast as possible, may have inadvertently left the Cornholer State vulnerable to the oncoming onslaught that is gay marriage, thanks to a bill...
But we're leaving out The Gay, right? Right!

Sixth Circuit Strikes Down Gay Marriage For Stupid Reasons That Are Dumb

Well, looky here, the 6th Circuit Court of Appeals has decided to cram homophobia down everyone's throats. Talk about judicial activism! In a 2-1 decision, the three-judge panel -- with the dissenter writing a most epic dissent, but we'll get...
America

Oh Great, Now Everyone In America Wants To Get Gay-Married

This is exactly what the protectors of traditional American marriage warned us about. (Not traditional Biblical marriage, where old-timey dads in olden times sold their daughters to their rapists, because come on, that's ridiculous.) You let one lady have...

Here Is Your Helpful Post About Gay Marriage And Federalism, Just Like You Always Wanted

You know that we are very public service minded here at Wonkette, which is why we're bringing you this handy-dandy column that you can cut out and put in your wallet for the next 1001th time that some idjit...

Peggy Noonan Stares Into Her Highball Glass, Wonders What Is Becoming Of America, Guzzles Highball

The winter had driven her crazy. All these snowstorms, all these months and months trapped in her home, barely able to go outside into the streets that the terrible Communist mayor refused to plow, all those days on her...

Texas Congressman Takes Backdoor Approach To Screwing Gays

Marriage is the most sacred institution of all the institutions ever instituted by god and America’s Founder Jesus “Whitey” Christ exactly 6,000 years ago. Unfortunately, members of the Grand Old Party are looking to limit the federal government’s recognition...

The Thirteen Greatest Achievements In Throat Cramming Of 2013

Like most years when there's a Democrat in the White House, 2013 was a year of things getting rammed, crammed, jammed, shoved, and/or forced down our (America's) throats. How big were the things? So big. Were they hard to...