Well, this is odd! Let us pray for the children that this ad never airs between 6AM and 10PM. UTTER VULGARITY. (Obviously this online ad will never make it onto American TVs; it was produced for the Web by a German agency, so it’s “way out of the non-queer American mainstream.”) [Copyranter]

Here is a rather low-budget rip of “war correspondent” Michele Bachmann crying with Sean Hannity over how everyone makes fun of her for raising issues that literally do not exist. The actual elected Congressional legislator has judiciously spent her time introducing a constitutional amendment “to prohibit the President from entering into a treaty or other international agreement that would provide for the United States to adopt as legal tender in the United States a currency issued by an entity other than the United States,” because she thinks the United States is trying to replace the dollar. Again: she thinks the United States is trying to replace the dollar, as its currency. MORE »

Remember the other day when China said, “Hmm, maybe we want a global reserve currency that isn’t the dollar, as America’s compulsive overborrowing will most certainly lead to hyperinflation, which would suck for us”? This caused our favorite Bush-groping crazed baby-farming Minnesota representative, Michele Bachmann, to propose legislation banning the replacement of the dollar with any other currency … in the United States. MORE »

• WE’RE RICH AGAIN!: Ha ha, gay Europe is now bailing out all of its banks too, meaning the dollar is somehow rising like a biotch against their fancypants “pound” and “euro.” AMERICA FUCK YEAH, now let’s go buy all of their stuff and burn it because fuck fucking Europe, losers. [Bloomberg]

Wonkette Monetary Policy Operative “Lee” sends us welcome news: the U.S. dollar is totally beating the pants off the Kenyan shilling. You’ll recall that Barack Obama’s hometown of Kenya, Africa finally swore in a power-sharing cabinet following two months of violence after a disputed election. So it is nice to hear the American currency has gained “a slight ground” versus the currency of a nation with a 21.8% month-over-month inflation rate and a recent history of grave political instability. [NASDAQ.com]

The Federal Reserve cut the federal funds rate — its “big deal” interest rate — by another 3/4 of a percentage point this afternoon, bringing the number down to 2.25%. This is the second 3/4-point cut in recent months, meaning Ben Bernanke is probably on speed since that is a lot to cut. MORE »

Police in Aiken, SC have arrested a man for trying to open a bank account with a $1 million dollar bill. How did Alexander Smith of Augusta, Georgia come across such valuable currency? Probably by making it himself on Photoshop, because it was of course counterfeit. Extremely counterfeit! And when the bank tellers pointed this out to him, he started cursing them all out. Then the police came and NORFED his ass. [AP/Yahoo]

Yesterday afternoon, the jury and defense team in the Florida trial of ex-state Rep. Bob Allen boarded a retard bus for a field trip, no permissions slips required. They “milled around Space View Park … and took turns peering into the men’s restroom where state Rep. Bob Allen encountered the undercover Titusville police officer” (the one he wanted to play Special Happy Friends with). And although the defense is claiming that the visit helped their case, it, um, kinda didn’t? MORE »

“The Canadian dollar’s meteoric rise accelerated this week, rising two cents in less than 24 hours. The loonie broke through the US$1.10 barrier in overseas trading Wednesday, initially hitting the 110.02 cents US mark…. Analysts say it doesn’t appear that the loonie will be returning to earth anytime soon.” Ha ha Dennis Kucinich something or other. [The Canadian Press/Yahoo!]

Chuck Norris recently and forcefully reminded us in a masculine manner that he would single-handedly turn Iraq into a manly democracy ruled by the iron fists of Chuck Norris. Now Bloomberg markets columnist Mark Gilbert has learned that Chuck Norris is also the brute-force answer to America’s collapsing economy, and here are a few examples: MORE »

Against the Canadian dollar, currency of the largest United States trading partner, the dollar tumbled to one-to-one, a level not seen since the 1976, the early phase of a currency crisis that would eventually send shock waves through the world economy. [NYT]