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Posts Tagged ‘dollar’

RON PAUL'S WORST NIGHTMARE

International Currency Sexytime!

Thursday, May 7th, 2009

Well, this is odd! Let us pray for the children that this ad never airs between 6AM and 10PM. UTTER VULGARITY. (Obviously this online ad will never make it onto American TVs; it was produced for the Web by a German agency, so it’s “way out of the non-queer American mainstream.”) [Copyranter]


THE DUMB LADY

Michele Bachmann Tries To Save Dollar From Mongols

Monday, March 30th, 2009

Here is a rather low-budget rip of “war correspondent” Michele Bachmann crying with Sean Hannity over how everyone makes fun of her for raising issues that literally do not exist. The actual elected Congressional legislator has judiciously spent her time introducing a constitutional amendment “to prohibit the President from entering into a treaty or other international agreement that would provide for the United States to adopt as legal tender in the United States a currency issued by an entity other than the United States,” because she thinks the United States is trying to replace the dollar. Again: she thinks the United States is trying to replace the dollar, as its currency. MORE »


INTERGALACTIC TRADE WARS

Bachmann Bravely Defends American Dollar From Imaginary Obsolescence

Thursday, March 26th, 2009

Our terrifying futureRemember the other day when China said, “Hmm, maybe we want a global reserve currency that isn’t the dollar, as America’s compulsive overborrowing will most certainly lead to hyperinflation, which would suck for us”? This caused our favorite Bush-groping crazed baby-farming Minnesota representative, Michele Bachmann, to propose legislation banning the replacement of the dollar with any other currency … in the United States. MORE »


HOW YOU LIKE IT

Tuesday, September 30th, 2008
  • WE’RE RICH AGAIN!: Ha ha, gay Europe is now bailing out all of its banks too, meaning the dollar is somehow rising like a biotch against their fancypants “pound” and “euro.” AMERICA FUCK YEAH, now let’s go buy all of their stuff and burn it because fuck fucking Europe, losers. [Bloomberg]

GEORGE BUSH

Strong Dollar Policy Really Paying Off

Thursday, April 17th, 2008

This kid just bought the White House for 25 Kenyan shillingsWonkette Monetary Policy Operative “Lee” sends us welcome news: the U.S. dollar is totally beating the pants off the Kenyan shilling. You’ll recall that Barack Obama’s hometown of Kenya, Africa finally swore in a power-sharing cabinet following two months of violence after a disputed election. So it is nice to hear the American currency has gained “a slight ground” versus the currency of a nation with a 21.8% month-over-month inflation rate and a recent history of grave political instability. [NASDAQ.com]


FEDERAL RESERVE

Federal Reserve Can’t Stop Saving Economy!

Tuesday, March 18th, 2008

The Federal Reserve cut the federal funds rate — its “big deal” interest rate — by another 3/4 of a percentage point this afternoon, bringing the number down to 2.25%. This is the second 3/4-point cut in recent months, meaning Ben Bernanke is probably on speed since that is a lot to cut. MORE »


DOLLAR

Georgia Man Tries to Use Fake $1 Million Dollar Bill, Fails

Wednesday, November 28th, 2007

this guy... this guy walks around with a million dollar billPolice in Aiken, SC have arrested a man for trying to open a bank account with a $1 million dollar bill. How did Alexander Smith of Augusta, Georgia come across such valuable currency? Probably by making it himself on Photoshop, because it was of course counterfeit. Extremely counterfeit! And when the bank tellers pointed this out to him, he started cursing them all out. Then the police came and NORFED his ass. [AP/Yahoo]


FLORIDA

“Twenty Dollar” Bob Jury: The Stall Is Big Like Whoa

Friday, November 9th, 2007

i mean, as long as we're waiting, you know...Yesterday afternoon, the jury and defense team in the Florida trial of ex-state Rep. Bob Allen boarded a retard bus for a field trip, no permissions slips required. They “milled around Space View Park … and took turns peering into the men’s restroom where state Rep. Bob Allen encountered the undercover Titusville police officer” (the one he wanted to play Special Happy Friends with). And although the defense is claiming that the visit helped their case, it, um, kinda didn’t? MORE »


DENNIS KUCINICH

Wednesday, November 7th, 2007

“The Canadian dollar’s meteoric rise accelerated this week, rising two cents in less than 24 hours. The loonie broke through the US$1.10 barrier in overseas trading Wednesday, initially hitting the 110.02 cents US mark…. Analysts say it doesn’t appear that the loonie will be returning to earth anytime soon.” Ha ha Dennis Kucinich something or other. [The Canadian Press/Yahoo!]


IRAQ

U.S. Economy In Trouble? Call Chuck Norris

Thursday, September 27th, 2007

Chuck Norris recently and forcefully reminded us in a masculine manner that he would single-handedly turn Iraq into a manly democracy ruled by the iron fists of Chuck Norris. Now Bloomberg markets columnist Mark Gilbert has learned that Chuck Norris is also the brute-force answer to America’s collapsing economy, and here are a few examples: MORE »


CANADA

Thursday, September 20th, 2007

Against the Canadian dollar, currency of the largest United States trading partner, the dollar tumbled to one-to-one, a level not seen since the 1976, the early phase of a currency crisis that would eventually send shock waves through the world economy. [NYT]