Tag Archives: dollar

  ron paul's worst nightmare

International Currency Sexytime!

Well, this is odd! Let us pray for the children that this ad never airs between 6AM and 10PM. UTTER VULGARITY. (Obviously this online ad will never make it onto American TVs; it was produced for the Web by a German agency, so it’s “way out of the non-queer American mainstream.”) [Copyranter] Read more on International Currency Sexytime!…
  the dumb lady

Michele Bachmann Tries To Save Dollar From Mongols

Here is a rather low-budget rip of “war correspondent” Michele Bachmann crying with Sean Hannity over how everyone makes fun of her for raising issues that literally do not exist. The actual elected Congressional legislator has judiciously spent her time introducing a constitutional amendment “to prohibit the President from entering into a treaty or other international agreement that would provide for the United States to adopt as legal tender in the United States a currency issued by an entity other than the United States,” because she thinks the United States is trying to replace the dollar. Again: she thinks the United States is trying to replace the dollar, as its currency. Read more on Michele Bachmann Tries To Save Dollar From Mongols…
  intergalactic trade wars

Bachmann Bravely Defends American Dollar From Imaginary Obsolescence

Remember the other day when China said, “Hmm, maybe we want a global reserve currency that isn’t the dollar, as America’s compulsive overborrowing will most certainly lead to hyperinflation, which would suck for us”? This caused our favorite Bush-groping crazed baby-farming Minnesota representative, Michele Bachmann, to propose legislation banning the replacement of the dollar with any other currency … in the United States. Read more on Bachmann Bravely Defends American Dollar From Imaginary Obsolescence…
  how you like it

WE’RE RICH AGAIN!: Ha ha, gay Europe is now bailing out all of its banks too, meaning the dollar is somehow rising like a biotch against their fancypants “pound” and “euro.” AMERICA FUCK YEAH, now let’s go buy all of their stuff and burn it because fuck fucking Europe, losers. [Bloomberg] Read more on …
 

Strong Dollar Policy Really Paying Off

Wonkette Monetary Policy Operative “Lee” sends us welcome news: the U.S. dollar is totally beating the pants off the Kenyan shilling. You’ll recall that Barack Obama’s hometown of Kenya, Africa finally swore in a power-sharing cabinet following two months of violence after a disputed election. So it is nice to hear the American currency has gained “a slight ground” versus the currency of a nation with a 21.8% month-over-month inflation rate and a recent history of grave political instability. [NASDAQ.com] Read more on Strong Dollar Policy Really Paying Off…
 

Federal Reserve Can’t Stop Saving Economy!

The Federal Reserve cut the federal funds rate — its “big deal” interest rate — by another 3/4 of a percentage point this afternoon, bringing the number down to 2.25%. This is the second 3/4-point cut in recent months, meaning Ben Bernanke is probably on speed since that is a lot to cut. Read more on Federal Reserve Can’t Stop Saving Economy!…
 

Georgia Man Tries to Use Fake $1 Million Dollar Bill, Fails

Police in Aiken, SC have arrested a man for trying to open a bank account with a $1 million dollar bill. How did Alexander Smith of Augusta, Georgia come across such valuable currency? Probably by making it himself on Photoshop, because it was of course counterfeit. Extremely counterfeit! And when the bank tellers pointed this out to him, he started cursing them all out. Then the police came and NORFED his ass. [AP/Yahoo] Read more on Georgia Man Tries to Use Fake $1 Million Dollar Bill, Fails…
 

“Twenty Dollar” Bob Jury: The Stall Is Big Like Whoa

Yesterday afternoon, the jury and defense team in the Florida trial of ex-state Rep. Bob Allen boarded a retard bus for a field trip, no permissions slips required. They “milled around Space View Park … and took turns peering into the men’s restroom where state Rep. Bob Allen encountered the undercover Titusville police officer” (the one he wanted to play Special Happy Friends with). And although the defense is claiming that the visit helped their case, it, um, kinda didn’t? Read more on “Twenty Dollar” Bob Jury: The Stall Is Big Like Whoa…
 

“The Canadian dollar’s meteoric rise accelerated this week, rising two cents in less than 24 hours. The loonie broke through the US$1.10 barrier in overseas trading Wednesday, initially hitting the 110.02 cents US mark…. Analysts say it doesn’t appear that the loonie will be returning to earth anytime soon.” Ha ha Dennis Kucinich something or other. [The Canadian Press/Yahoo!] Read more on …
 

U.S. Economy In Trouble? Call Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris recently and forcefully reminded us in a masculine manner that he would single-handedly turn Iraq into a manly democracy ruled by the iron fists of Chuck Norris. Now Bloomberg markets columnist Mark Gilbert has learned that Chuck Norris is also the brute-force answer to America’s collapsing economy, and here are a few examples: Read more on U.S. Economy In Trouble? Call Chuck Norris…
 

Against the Canadian dollar, currency of the largest United States trading partner, the dollar tumbled to one-to-one, a level not seen since the 1976, the early phase of a currency crisis that would eventually send shock waves through the world economy. [NYT] Read more on …
 

America On the Brink: Dollar Coin Found WITH NO FACE

First came the staggering news that new U.S. dollar coins were minted without the crucial “In God We Trust” slogan — a painful acknowledgment that God had quit blessing America and America had quit trusting God. Now there’s even spookier news: A couple in Denver came across a new dollar coin with no president’s face or anything, really, on either side of the coin. How did they even know it was a dollar coin and not the Lost Treasure of the Knights Templar or something? Probably because they went to the bank and specifically asked for the shiny new U.S. coins; people will apparently run out and buy whatever new coin gets made, in hopes that it will be fucked up and they can sell it on eBay for $300. And that’s sort of what happened to our treasure-hunting couple, who we’ll meet after the jump. Read more on America On the Brink: Dollar Coin Found WITH NO FACE…
 

Scary Arab Nation Dumping U.S. Dollar!

Guess who doesn’t love the sinking U.S. dollar? Everybody! The latest rich nation to begin dumping the greenback is the United Arab Emirates. The oil-rich UAE says it will “convert 8% of its foreign-exchange reserves to euros from dollar,” which is exactly the kind of behavior that got Iraq invaded and Iran targeted. Indonesia and Venezuela are among the other bigwig anti-dollar countries moving to get their oil sales switched to a more stable currency, while China is reportedly going to dump a gazillion trillion dollars at some point in the near future, which will destroy what’s left of the U.S. economy and then we’ll all be eating out of garbage cans and wear “Road Warrior” outfits. Read more on Scary Arab Nation Dumping U.S. Dollar!…
 

Cheery Holiday Financial Update

While you’re not really working and getting ready for the Jesus’ Special Day, people who Hate Our Freedoms (TM) around the world are plotting against Washington. And it’s working. Expect a Great Depression by Super Bowl Sunday: Read more on Cheery Holiday Financial Update…