Top DoJ Official Resigns V Quietly
Thursday, September 13th, 2007
Hey guys, another high-level Justice Department official quit yesterday! An Operative sent us the resignation email. We know nothing about this Regina Schofield woman except that she was the “Assistant Attorney General for the Office of Justice Programs,” which means she was a corrupt hack, probably. Hell, Gonzo said she “served the Department of Justice and the American people with distinction and honor” so we can’t even imagine the scope of her crimes. Oh, she was apparently in charge of fighting ONLINE PREDATORS, PROTECTING OUR KIDS, and two particularly sinister-sounding projects, “advanced law enforcement information sharing” and “the President’s DNA initiative.” Resignation letter after the jump!
Jack Goldsmith is some guy who used to work at the DOJ, and so, natch, he’s got a book coming out. It’s called something like “Why I’m a Good Conservative and Not an Evil One” or something like that. The New York Times published an excerpt today, and OMG, is it boring? This is supposed to be the juiciest stuff from the forthcoming remainder-bin mold-gatherer, and all we get is this: 
Could it be — did Alberto Gonzales… lie? America’s Beloved Attorney General… a perjurer? The Justice Department’s Inspector General is investigating, and as part of that investigation they’ve sent out a handy “are you a political hack” questionnaire to hundreds of Justice employees. The Post has the .pfd — and you can fill it out at home! 
We should give Alberto Gonzales credit where credit is due: Nobody else could’ve made America look back at John Ashcroft’s tenure and say, “Well, he wasn’t so bad after all.” Anyway, now Gonzo is gone (or will be, next month, unless he lied about that, too) and the 3% of Americans who even knew who he was and can gather around the virtual fireside chat or whatever and make 
A widely hated cretin is the White House’s top choice for attorney general, experts said today. Michael Chertoff is known for his bizarre threats against America and his tenure at the biggest fucking joke agency in American history, the “department of homeland security.” Despised by Republicans, Democrats and actual humans, Chertoff is just the kind of loathsome creep the Bush Administration is likely to choose to be AG for a few weeks until the whole gang is rounded up and sent to Gitmo. 
Some lunatic broke into Senator Chris Dodd’s office in Connecticut on Saturday night and ran off with “undisclosed items.” Who did it? The police report leaves little doubt:
In the Watergate era, “Deep Throat” was supposedly a government insider who met Bob Woodward in a parking garage and moodily smoked cigarettes while wearing a trench coat. The fact that Woodward himself was a government spook recently transferred from Naval Intelligence to the Washington Post newsroom led many to assume “Deep Throat” was a group of CIA bigshots nervous about the Nixon Administration turning the nation into a dictatorship, or something. Anyway, Nixon finally gave up for the sake of the country and everybody won Academy Awards for “All the President’s Men” and Henry Kissinger is still at large. 
As Attorney General Gonzales faces increasingly shrill cries for his resignation, and now threats of impeachment, perhaps we ought to take a minute to hear from the man himself. A week and a half ago, he addressed Department of Justice employees via “J TV,” DoJ’s internal tv station, to assure them that he will never, ever, ever leave them, and that he’s fuckin’ innocent. A Justice Employee sent us the speech this weekend, and it’s an entertaining little document of self-delusion.