Tag: doj

Donald Trump Not Under Investigation Yes He Is No He Isn’t GO FUCK YOURSELF SHUT UP

It depends on what the meaning of the word 'is' is.

Top Narc Jeff Sessions Coming For Your Devil Weed, Hippies!

This aggression will not stand, man.
Look closely at the fear in Vladimir's eyes.

The Intercept Breaks Huge Russian Hacking Story, For Glenn Greenwald To Shit On

Russia got further in tampering with the 2016 election than we ever knew, and The Intercept, for some reason, GOT THE SCOOP!

Congress Will Put All The Teen Sexters IN JAIL, Where They Obviously Belong!

The House of Representatives has passed a bill that could send teen sexters to jail for 15 YEARS.

Jeff Sessions Orders Justice Department To Be Nicer To Head-Bashing Police

Gee, if only people had known Sessions was a member of the Leopards Eating Your Face party...

Trump’s Crazy EPA Guy? He’s FAR TOO SANE! Wonkagenda For Tues., March 28, 2017

Trump set to unveil his climate plan, mid-term election planning has begun, and EVERYONE hates Devin Nunes.

Hey Trump, When You’ve Lost Benghazi Congressidiot Trey Gowdy, It’s Time To STFU

Gowdy is somehow not convinced Trump is telling the truth about Obama's 'wire tapp' of him!

Jeff Sessions: What We Have Here Is A Failure To Communicate!

Now that he's made clear the Justice Department is so over voting rights, since racism is a thing of the past, Attorney General Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III has focused firmly on the need to Git Tuff on crime, especially...

Jeff Sessions Ain’t Know Why Y’all Think Texas Was Tryin’ To Discriminate When Racism Is Over And All

The Attorney General is a busy man, and voting rights don't interest him nearly as much as the crime wave we're not having.
Check their wallets first

Let’s Pretend Justice Department’s Reversal On Private Prisons Isn’t Just Big Payoff For Campaign Cash

Don't wanna cause a big s-s-sensation / Just Talkin' 'Bout Incarceration.
HERE IS SOME SEX ADVICE, YOU GUYS.

Rush Limbaugh Pretty Sure Liberals Can’t Wait For Hurricane Matthew To Kill Everybody

How can we keep our 'climate change' conspiracy going if big hurricanes don't murder everybody all the time?

Fine, Loretta Lynch Has Better Things To Do Than Read Hillary’s Dumb Emails Anyway

Loretta Lynch and Bill Clinton ran into each other at the airport. BURN HER!
You have GOT to be freaking kidding me.

Fox News Pretty Sure Hillary Should Fry For Obama’s SCOTUS Pick

You know that Cards Against Humanity card that says "Pooping back and forth forever?" It's from a movie, but it might as well be about Fox News and other assorted wingnut pundits. We saw it this week on Fox when...
Check their wallets first

No-Fun Justice Department Won’t Let Courts Put Poor People In Debtors’ Prisons, Boooo!

The U.S. Justice Department seems intent on taking all the fun -- or at least the profit -- out of state and local courts treating poor people as a source of (mostly) uncomplaining revenue. The DOJ Monday told states'...

Immigration Judge Certain That Three-Year-Olds Make Dandy Attorneys

Three-year-olds are good at lots of things. Singing weird made-up songs about the color orange until you want to throttle them, asking awkward questions about who Mommy's new friend that stays overnight is, being perpetually sticky. We will grant...

President Ted Cruz To Pardon That Planned Parenthood Video Guy First Thing, For Justice

Have you been wondering who Mr. Ted "I love the rule of law so much I take it to bed at night and spoon it just like I would the corpse of Antonin Scalia" Cruz would pardon if he...