dogs
Your Wonkette was performing its routine of googling “Romney” at the start of each morning for daily affirmation when lo, what was this third result that appeared? “SpreadingRomney.com,” a dictionary page defining the verb “Romney” as “defecating in terror.” This refers to his dog on top of the family car. When will the Internet grow [...]
Either we are doing a TERRIFIC job keeping those terrorists away, ha ha, OR we are not spending nearly enough money on the real threats in this country. It sounds like maybe it is the latter, because people are just dropping dead everywhere, from things like “dog bites,” instead of at the hands of evil [...]
The woman whose front-yard FLOTUS shrine almost landed her in jail is in the clear now, sort of! So nice try, obesity epidemic, you lose this one. The city of Oak Park, Michigan no longer cares about Julie Bass’ hideous vegetable garden. Instead, they would like to go after her dogs, because Oak Park is [...]
The United States of America has been blessed with great rhetoricians, select individuals who appear on the national stage in times of peril, stand up, give voice to what is right, and lead the nation forward. A few years ago, many of us thought Barack Obama, a skilled orator in his own right, would prove [...]
Here’s a stupid Los Angeles Times video of Governor Jerry Brown’s legless tribble-sausage dog running around the state capitol while most dogs in California are being “put to sleep” (along with education and infrastructure and state parks) because corporations won’t pay their fair share of taxes in California. Yayyy, animal videos!
This dog always seemed like a real asshole to us. But now he has that look of sheer terror in his eyes like a man came up behind him and, well, interfered. WHAT DID YOU DO, PERRY? We looked at more of Rick Perry’s Twitter. It seems he mostly uses it to post photos of [...]
Guess what? Politico got to talk to Ben Quayle! Ooh, what is he like? Do you think he’ll like Politico? Will he want to be friends with them and stuff? He’s so cool because he’s the only member of Congress who hasn’t had at least one bout with prostate cancer in his life so far. [...]
In the middle of World War II, the Foreign Office in Berlin commanded its diplomats in the Nazi-friendly Nordic country to gather evidence on the dog, and even came up with plans to destroy the pharmaceutical wholesale company of the dog’s owner. [...] “Just months before the Nazis launched their attack on the Soviet Union, [...]
So this dog saved a bunch of people during some terror bombing in Afghanistan. What a brave dog! Like all heroes, this dog was sent to America to go on teevee, so it could become famous and live with a family of Army heroes. Sadly, the dog was also sent to live in Arizona: Target [...]
Teabaggers in Missouri are up in arms over a proposed law that would regulate the state’s puppy mills by requiring them to give a bitch some rest between pregnancies, yo, and feed the puppies actual food and water. This has enraged them, obviously, because such regulations infringe on our cherished freedom to abuse animals and [...]
Carl Paladino is probably the most violent gubernatorial candidate in United States History. But what about Paladino’s 80-pound pit bull, “Duke”? Is he violent too? It would seem so, because Duke recently attacked a helpless “yellow” Labrador, which is not only violent but also sounds kinda racist! Wait a second … Is “Duke” Carl Paladino’s [...]
