Tag Archives: doctors

  make yourself a nice bloody mary and sit with us

It’s Sunday Funday At The Wonkette, Let’s Reminisce About The Week That Was!

Hola, Wonkerados! How is your Easter Sunday going? Ours is very nice! Won’t you sit and have some internet brunch with us, so we can reminisce about all the lovely things that happened during the week? It wasn’t all Indiana and gays and religious freedom! (Er, actually a lot of it was, but other things also happened, according to our admittedly hazy memory.) Read more on It’s Sunday Funday At The Wonkette, Let’s Reminisce About The Week That Was!…
  Just Wait Til You Hear About The Tax Cuts

Boehner And McConnell Have Awesome Replacement For Obamacare But Left It In Their Other Pants

Two men, no plan, Nalponnemowt!
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnnell and Speaker of the House John Boehner went on the 60 Minute televisual informatical program Sunday to explain all the exciting plans the Republicans have for uprooting Obamacare and replacing it with something much better, except that the part where they actually said what the replacement would be kind of got left out. Asked to explain the GOP’s Obamacare alternative, Boehner offered a clear-eyed vision of the past and how things might have been different, maybe: Read more on Boehner And McConnell Have Awesome Replacement For Obamacare But Left It In Their Other Pants…
  Connect The Dots

Doctors To Fox Host: Vaccinate Your Kids, Idiot

Srs Doctors are Srs
A panel of doctors had very little patience for a Fox News host’s “hurr-durr, LIBERTY” argument Wednesday, rejecting the notion that people should be allowed to opt out of vaccinating their kids simply because they don’t want Big Government pushing them around. On “Happening Now” (which is not a revival of the beloved ’80s sitcom “What’s Happenin’ Now”), host Jenna Lee discussed the current measles outbreak in California, which started at Disneyland and has since led to unvaccinated students being told to stay home from an Orange County high school. And then she unleashed Fox News Worship Words — PERSONAL LIBERTY — and even invoked the specter of federal regulation: Read more on Doctors To Fox Host: Vaccinate Your Kids, Idiot…
  First Do What's Popular

Rand Paul Torn Between Libertarian Principles And OMG EBOLAZ!!!!!1

It was this or a photo of Rand Paul, and we love you too much to do that
Sen. Rand Paul MD is trying to decide where he stands on the important issue of putting healthcare workers in quarantine regardless of whether they have Ebola symptoms or not. (Remember kids, that’s the only time people are infectious: after they’re symptomatic). It is truly an ethical dilemma for him, because on the one hand, he is a Libertarian who loves the Freedom (except for ladyparts, which are not free because babbies come first), but on the other hand, he is a “doctor” with a real “license” and everything, and he just wants to keep the public safe from this disease that he knows the CDC isn’t telling you everything about. Read more on Rand Paul Torn Between Libertarian Principles And OMG EBOLAZ!!!!!1…
  he's a doctor honey

Rep. Dr. Mike Kennedy, Esq., Will Protect Utah From Dangerous Hospitals

dr mike jd aww yeah
Image via Dr. Mike’s YouTube campaign video People of Utah, did you know you are under threat by monstrous hazards that lurk behind gleaming facades, endangering your very life under the diabolical ruse of helping you avoid death? There could even be one of these hulking terrors right in your own neighborhood.  Fortunately, there is a kindly doctorman fighting to protect you from these deathtraps, these hospitals, by making sure you don’t have access to them. That man is Dr. Mike, J.D., also known as state Rep. Michael S. Kennedy of Utah’s 27th House District. Read more on Rep. Dr. Mike Kennedy, Esq., Will Protect Utah From Dangerous Hospitals…
  department of what could go wrong?

This New Doctor App Is Gonna Disrupt Your Medical Care So Hard

Now, we’re not defending the current American healthcare system, because nightmare, but we’re not sure that it will be solved by Grand Rounds, an app that you wave around at the ER doctors, demanding that they listen to the person FaceTiming in to meddle in your medical emergency, but that is probably because we just can’t handle the level of cool synergized disruption that such an app would bring us. Read more on This New Doctor App Is Gonna Disrupt Your Medical Care So Hard…
  because 'florida'

Florida Governor Rick Scott Liberates Doctors From Burdens Of The First Amendment

We at Wonkette are not experts in Constitutional law or contemporary American jurisprudence, but it seems to us that the Amendments are supposed to be of equal importance and subjected to the same standards of inquiry. So we were surprised (but not really that surprised, actually, now that we think about it for a minute) to learn that the Second Amendment is more important than the First Amendment, but only for doctors, and only if they live in Florida. Read more on Florida Governor Rick Scott Liberates Doctors From Burdens Of The First Amendment…
  doctors' notes: the holiest of documents

Scott Walker Now Going After Doctors Who Helped Union Protestors

ON WISCONSIN! The state Department of Regulation and Licensing and the Medical Examining Board said Wednesday that they had opened investigations into eight individuals who allegedly wrote doctor excuse notes for protesters at the state Capitol during rallies in February. Read more on Scott Walker Now Going After Doctors Who Helped Union Protestors…
  we need a law and order: south dakota

South Dakota Legalizing Abortion(-Doctor Murder)

While those useless fat cats in D.C. twiddle their thumbs and let our country sink perilously into debt and endless unemployment, the hardworking legislators of America’s heartland and working together to get things done for their citizens. Yeah, we’re talking about legalizing murder, a common-sense solution to pretty much every problem. South Dakota is considering a bill that would change the state’s definition of homicide so it’s legal to kill a doctor who tries to give a woman an abortion, as long as that woman is your daughter, mother, or wife. Anyway, everyone is rather closely related in South Dakota, right? So basically any South Dakotan can just go around shooting doctors “on demand,” according to this state Rep. Phil Jensen’s bill. Man, all the other South Dakota legislators have to be kicking themselves that they didn’t think of this brilliant “pro-life” strategy first. Read more on South Dakota Legalizing Abortion(-Doctor Murder)…
  but that's not what dr. phil said

Doctor Says Giffords Has ‘100 Percent’ Chance of Survival (Suck It, NPR)

“Well, I would say — you know, as a physician I am going to get in a lot of trouble for this — but her prognosis for survival is 100 percent, as far as it being short term,” Dr. Peter Rhee told Britain’s Channel 4 News. “I mean, hopefully she’ll live to be 95 years old. What her recovery is going to do, I really don’t know. I am very optimistic that she’s not going to be in a vegetative type of state, I think she’s going to make a fair amount of recovery. And what kind of deficits that she’ll have in the future, I really can’t say at this point, but I am still very optimistic.” Read more on Doctor Says Giffords Has ‘100 Percent’ Chance of Survival (Suck It, NPR)…
  live under government health care and die or die

Anti-Obamacare Congressman Angry His Healthcare Won’t Start Right Away

Andy Harris is an anesthesiologist and newly-elected Republican member of Congress from Maryland who ran on an anti-health-care-reform platform, but at an orientation yesterday, he got VERY ANGRY that the government will not provide him with free health care instantly after being sworn into office in January. The government is ruining our nation’s health by making it easier for citizens to get health care, and it is also ruining our nation’s health by making it harder for congressional citizens to get health care. Yeah, seems like a pretty consistent, populist position. Read more on Anti-Obamacare Congressman Angry His Healthcare Won’t Start Right Away…
  people your hmo will send you to

Rand Paul Doctor Club: Obama Elected By Literally Hypnotizing Voters

Rand Paul does not believe in joining legitimate medical organizations that are the industry standard, so instead of joining the American Medical Association, he joined the Association of American Physicians and Surgeons, of which his father is also a member. Rand Paul likes to talk about this organization and how its literature informs the crap he says about medicine. But, interestingly, the AAPS publishes some weird literature! Like in 2007, when they said AIDS isn’t linked to HIV. And in 2008, they said Barack Obama was using hypnotism techniques to trick the American public into electing him. Read more on Rand Paul Doctor Club: Obama Elected By Literally Hypnotizing Voters…
  nature

Oh, Dick Cheney Has No Pulse, By the Way

Some doctor man (don’t get near Glenn Beck!) wrote about Dick Cheney’s Polly Pocket robot heart in today’s The New York Times, and it turns out Dick Cheney no longer has a pulse, though he is stubbornly still alive. Dick Cheney’s blood now just flows continually, like the River Styx. He doesn’t need your lowly “pumping!” Cheney will probably be “urged to wear bracelets or other identifications to alert emergency room doctors” as to why he has no pulse, as it probably won’t be the first reason that comes to mind. Read more on Oh, Dick Cheney Has No Pulse, By the Way…
  it was worth it man

Wingnut Army Doctor Will Now Be In Terrible Trouble, Maybe

You can’t blame him for assuming that in the New America, people don’t actually get charged for wrongdoing anymore. Still, whoops! Birther Col. Terry Lakin is in big trouble. “A decorated Army doctor who publicly announced last month that he is refusing to follow orders because he believes Barack Obama may be ineligible to be president is now under investigation after failing to report for duty at Fort Campbell in Kentucky, a military spokesman tells TPMmuckraker.” MARTYR! [TPM] Read more on Wingnut Army Doctor Will Now Be In Terrible Trouble, Maybe…
  rumors on the internets

Mike Huckabee Doesn’t Care About All Of The Gross Stuff Gay People Do To Their Dogs

Angelina Jolie recolonized The Congo so that Brangelina could adopt as many precious diamonds and African orphans as humanly possible. [The Daily Dish] On a similar note: Mike Huckabee just wants you to know that babies do not = puppies, these are two different things, and yeah the gays can sodomize as many adopted puppies as they see fit but babies? Gay people shouldn’t be allowed to own those things. [Daily Intel] Read more on Mike Huckabee Doesn’t Care About All Of The Gross Stuff Gay People Do To Their Dogs…
  america's greatest politics guy

Michael Steele Is Confused Again; Says ‘Poop’ In Unrelated Incident

Wacky RNC chairman Michael Steele, who is in very deep shit right now with the orange boner in charge of House Republicans, heard about all of those white coats from the American Medical Association — historically Republican allies against health care reform movements, until now, because things are just so terrible — showing up on Obama’s front lawn today, and proceeded to make his devastating move: “The AMA is–does not have the credibility on this health care issue, as they would like to project.” He will now write an op-ed for the Washington Post to introduce his latest alternative, which would order a government bureaucrat get between you and your lying so-called “doctor.” Michael Steele also said “poop” today, which was pretty cool. [The Hill] Read more on Michael Steele Is Confused Again; Says ‘Poop’ In Unrelated Incident…
  daily briefing

New Details About Obama’s Big Health Care Speech Reveal This Thing Will Include Details!

Obama’s big health care legislation presentation next week will feature such novelties as an explanation of the contents of said health care legislation. [New York Times] Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens’ hiring of only one clerk for the 2010 Supreme Court regular season has many fans speculating that he could retire after next year. [LA Times] Read more on New Details About Obama’s Big Health Care Speech Reveal This Thing Will Include Details!…
  supply and demand

But Who Will Make More Doctors?

Oh so is this what that woman was talking about at Obama’s Knife ‘n’ Gun Show yesterday? This one questioner, called upon specifically because she had “concerns,” made the excellent point that if you insure 46 million people who currently have no health coverage, then they might actually go to the doctor once in a while! This may create a “doctor shortage” of some sort that would be terribly inconvenient for those of us who currently enjoy immediate access to doctors of all sorts, due to the fact that we do not have to share them with a large percentage of our countrymen. Read more on But Who Will Make More Doctors?…
  let sanjay be sanjay!

John Conyers Circulates HIT PIECE On Sexy Sanjay Gupta

As Mark Penn told us all during the Democratic primaries, it is an established socio-political fact that black people do not like brown people and vice-versa, because of Microtrends, and this is why Barack Obama cannot win 70% of the Hispanic vote. This scientific insight about wacky minorities is the only possible explanation for why old black Congressman John Conyers has written a letter to his fellow legislators attacking our future surgeon general, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, the very attractive medicine guy of daytime cable news fame. It is ruthless and laden with factual and typographical errors, to add further insult to Dr. Gupta’s Guatemalan heritage. Read more on John Conyers Circulates HIT PIECE On Sexy Sanjay Gupta…
  whoa hey

Person Who Answers To Wolf Blitzer Will Run America’s Doctors

Hey Obama waited until the last minute to pick a surgeon general, the government’s top doctor! SHIT SHIT SHIT who should he pick?? Uh uh uhhhhhh… quick, without even thinking: name a famous real-life teevee doctor! Him? Sure, fine, whatever, he can run America’s doctors. Read more on Person Who Answers To Wolf Blitzer Will Run America’s Doctors…
  well that clears it up

Read Sarah Palin’s Important Medical Fax!

Well, that’s it, people! After weeks of saying, “oh yeah, let us get those records together, all those detailed and important medical records, there are so many of them to compile,” Sarah Palin’s people pooped out this doozy last night: a two-page fax from a kindly community doctor who reveals that Sarah Palin is a healthy woman who exercises. Read more on Read Sarah Palin’s Important Medical Fax!…