KEN LAYNE REMEMBERS OBAMA’S NOMINATION SPEECH: “For two long, ridiculous years, I had covered this campaign — if by ‘covered’ you mean ‘wrote stupid jokes about these terrible people, every day, for a Web site.’ Now was not the time to give up and watch history on a cheap wall monitor over a concession booth.” [New York Times Sunday Magazine]

While your editors continue the whimsical heartland trip across Nebraska, which grows a hundred miles wider each hour, other things are happening: The terrible German-Latino hurricane, “Gustav,” is getting so big and mean that the GOP may be forced to cancel the convention so as to look concerned! You can read all the Dave Barry stuff from Denver now, because what else is there to do while driving across Nebraska? Speaking of people named “David,” we ran into a grinning David Carr walking around the Obama Stadium show, which he loved. “I love big things,” Carr said. And that was a very big thing. Go read all his Carpterbagger blog posts and especially watch the funny videos, the end.

We sure had a helluva time running around Denver this week, especially in the fine Uptown neighborhood, which is so packed with patio restaurants and cheap fun bars and liquor stores and cafes and fancy eateries and green leafy pedestrian streets that we could’ve just hung around the neighborhood the whole time. Instead, we spent thousands of hours per day getting in and out of the security perimeters, watching speeches, laughing at delegates, and otherwise working for the Man. Now we drive to St. Paul! But we’ll be posting on the road, so keep refreshing Wonkette constantly for more hot Sarah Palin / Barack Obama action. [Wonkette @ DNC Denver]

Last night observers watched the sky in horror as an alien spacecraft infiltrated the Obama Hope Arena’s 17 security layers and bobbed menacingly over the crowd. What was this awful thing, and what did it want to do to Our Barry? One word: probes. Creepy world exclusive footage after the jump. MORE »

Here it is, if you missed some, or all of it, or maybe the Secret Service took your laptop when you were getting a lemonade. Not quite as crazy as watching it with 80,000+ cheering Obama nuts in an outdoor football stadium at nightfall, but it is pretty great and filled with good lines. [YouTube]

So after the four hours of sunstroke and no wireless and some enthusiastic dog-whistler deafening everyone in a 30-foot perimeter of his terrifying noises, we emerged from Invesco Field and began the four hundred-mile journey on foot through Mordor. This was seriously the most complicated, arduous exit from a public venue since a half-million people stampeded out of Wolf Blitzer’s live sex show at the Republican National Convention in 1996. Follow us on a perilous journey past Jersey barriers, under abandoned bridges, through hobo encampments, and into the darkest reaches of the American id. MORE »

Well, that was insane. Sara almost cried. Jim got caught by the Secret Service. And your editor didn’t have an actual seat, so he sat outside liveblogging various speeches, and then headed inside the thunderdome for Obama’s entrance. Let’s post a bunch of photos! MORE »

Hello, friends! We have completed our four-mile 2008 iteration of “Sherman’s March To The Sea” and, appropriately, burned down all of once-happy Denver in the process. Again, we have walked back from Invesco Field and destroyed Denver; it’s probably on Drudge or Yahoo News or something. As we were going to Hope Field at -20,000 o’clock this afternoon, who did we find on our Shuttle but lovable Connecticut failure Ned Lamont, the 2006 Democratic candidate for Senate who lost to Joe Lieberman, an independent shit-rat. What a guy that Lamont is! He was entering the stadium just like everyone else: in agony. MORE »

As you listen to this HORRIFYING thriller soundtrack playing in Invesco Field while Obama walks off, here’s something cool that happened before the Secret Service apprehended us: a proposal, immediately in front. As soon as the would-be groom got on his knee, Al Gore walked on stage, and it almost seemed like the crowd’s eruption was responding to this Hope Couple. Maybe it was. She said yes, and we obnoxiously took a photo.

Hey, HERE’S A HINT: when you go to get a lemonade at Invesco Field, don’t leave your bag in your seat, because the SECRET SERVICE will take it. LIVEBLOG. OBAMA. NOW. MORE »

Your Wonkette has been chopped into three pieces, like a Starfish, and your current editor is just sitting in Level Two against a brick wall, on the concrete. We saw Stevie Wonder sing two songs! And, uh, Sheryl Crow sing like 7,000 songs which all sounded like shopping for lawn furniture on heroin. Al, what do you say? MORE »