dnc denver
KEN LAYNE REMEMBERS OBAMA’S NOMINATION SPEECH: “For two long, ridiculous years, I had covered this campaign — if by ‘covered’ you mean ‘wrote stupid jokes about these terrible people, every day, for a Web site.’ Now was not the time to give up and watch history on a cheap wall monitor over a concession booth.” [...]
While your editors continue the whimsical heartland trip across Nebraska, which grows a hundred miles wider each hour, other things are happening: The terrible German-Latino hurricane, “Gustav,” is getting so big and mean that the GOP may be forced to cancel the convention so as to look concerned! You can read all the Dave Barry [...]
We sure had a helluva time running around Denver this week, especially in the fine Uptown neighborhood, which is so packed with patio restaurants and cheap fun bars and liquor stores and cafes and fancy eateries and green leafy pedestrian streets that we could’ve just hung around the neighborhood the whole time. Instead, we spent [...]
Last night observers watched the sky in horror as an alien spacecraft infiltrated the Obama Hope Arena’s 17 security layers and bobbed menacingly over the crowd. What was this awful thing, and what did it want to do to Our Barry? One word: probes. Creepy world exclusive footage after the jump.
Here it is, if you missed some, or all of it, or maybe the Secret Service took your laptop when you were getting a lemonade. Not quite as crazy as watching it with 80,000+ cheering Obama nuts in an outdoor football stadium at nightfall, but it is pretty great and filled with good lines. [YouTube]
So after the four hours of sunstroke and no wireless and some enthusiastic dog-whistler deafening everyone in a 30-foot perimeter of his terrifying noises, we emerged from Invesco Field and began the four hundred-mile journey on foot through Mordor. This was seriously the most complicated, arduous exit from a public venue since a half-million people [...]
Well, that was insane. Sara almost cried. Jim got caught by the Secret Service. And your editor didn’t have an actual seat, so he sat outside liveblogging various speeches, and then headed inside the thunderdome for Obama’s entrance. Let’s post a bunch of photos!
A Children’s Treasury Of Photos Entering Invesco Field, Starring Ned Lamont
by Jim Newell
Hello, friends! We have completed our four-mile 2008 iteration of “Sherman’s March To The Sea” and, appropriately, burned down all of once-happy Denver in the process. Again, we have walked back from Invesco Field and destroyed Denver; it’s probably on Drudge or Yahoo News or something. As we were going to Hope Field at -20,000 [...]
As you listen to this HORRIFYING thriller soundtrack playing in Invesco Field while Obama walks off, here’s something cool that happened before the Secret Service apprehended us: a proposal, immediately in front. As soon as the would-be groom got on his knee, Al Gore walked on stage, and it almost seemed like the crowd’s eruption [...]
Hey, HERE’S A HINT: when you go to get a lemonade at Invesco Field, don’t leave your bag in your seat, because the SECRET SERVICE will take it. LIVEBLOG. OBAMA. NOW.
Your Wonkette has been chopped into three pieces, like a Starfish, and your current editor is just sitting in Level Two against a brick wall, on the concrete. We saw Stevie Wonder sing two songs! And, uh, Sheryl Crow sing like 7,000 songs which all sounded like shopping for lawn furniture on heroin. Al, what [...]
Fifteen thousand hours later, and we’re in. You know what would be great right now is a couch.
We are commencing the long terrible journey to Barack Obama’s Athletics Parthenon and Live Pagan Sex Spectacle. It will take approximately one million hours, and we have to stop for lunch besides, so if we do not post for a few hours it is because we are drunk or incarcerated or maybe we have expired [...]
Hell, we already have two, but we’ll take another. There’s a food shortage PEOPLE and kidneys taste gooooood. [Craigslist]
One “Washington Insider” and member of a gym that Barack Obama attends in DC told us last night that the candidate is actually kind of a halfhearted “athlete,” and doesn’t even bother running on the treadmill. Instead he walks, like one of the Golden Girls. Anyhow, this morning Barack Obama had another one of his [...]
