divorce
Another Republican debate! Nobody really noticed this dumb “Jesus Thanksgiving” thing on Saturday, due to the Civil War currently brewing in America, but the six Jesus-loving Republicans did show up to sit with these Halloween pumpkins and jabber about how much they hate the Supreme Court. Mitt Romney obviously skipped out, because he worships the [...]
Pat Robertson, the guy you can’t even call a delusional, militantly homophobic, fearmongering warrior of Satan because that description essentially understates the case by several orders of magnitude, has a small clarification to make about Jesus’s stance on traditional marriage. It’s still all “till death do you part” and whatever, but people who have Alzheimer’s [...]
Narcissistic sex creep and fizzled-out teevee goon Bill O’Reilly apparently has a wife! Who would marry such a festering turd and try to compete with the attention of the mirror? And who would stay married to him after the worldwide exposure of his comically perverse sex tapes about a loofah, themselves the result of his [...]
How was that Fourth of July long weekend? Did everyone act like a real American for one day? Let’s say it was a contest to see who could be the most American of all, and in that case Maria Shriver automatically wins, for officially filing her divorce papers from her cheating politician husband, the stoner robot-with-a-heart Arnold [...]
Whoa, forget the oil spill, here is some tabloid sexytime gossip about Al Gore: The Star reports tonight that Gore has been having a sex affair for two years with Laurie David, the environmental activist and ex-wife of teevee grouch Larry David. Is this true? Well it was true about another southern politician who wanted [...]
Karenna Gore, famous daughter of just-separated Al & Tipper Gore, is splitting up with her husband of 13 years. She married Andrew Schiff in 1997 and they have three little kids, whose lives will now be ruined. (Haha you know when parents split up because they’re selfish yuppies and they say, “Oh the kids are [...]
Did you really believe that Al and Tipper Gore were full-on IN LURVE during those 40 long years of marital blissin’ and kissin’? Well boy howdy, they sure got one over on you, says a new investigative opinion piece published by Eyewitness AOL.com. Hm, how did AOL News discover that the Gores were sham-married all [...]
Whoa we were just stopping by MSNBC for a moment to watch the Israeli Ambassador lie about killing people again, and then what’s her name, Alan Greenspan’s wife, just cold started showing pictures of Al and Tipper Gore dressed up as sex monsters for orgies. What is going on here? Oh right, it was the [...]
How much will we miss “America’s President,” the sore-loserman Al Gore and his wife Tipper Gore, who are becoming separated today due to the lack of love in their lives? Let’s all gather around the laptop and remember the years of joy and kissing and complaining about Prince records and “lockbox” and whatever else they [...]
WHAAAAA? “Al and Tipper Gore, whose playful romance enlivened Washington and the campaign trail for a quarter century, have decided to separate after 40 years of marriage, the couple told friends Tuesday. In an ‘Email from Al and Tipper Gore,’ the couple said: ‘We are announcing today that after a great deal of thought and [...]
GIBBONS MARRIAGE OFFICIALLY OVER: Philandering Nevada governor and alcoholic sex crook Jim Gibbons is a single man as of two days ago. His campaign manager congratulated the governor on taking the “high-road position” in the divorce proceedings and said “the governor has been very respectful of Dawn.” (The governor’s attorney once compared her to an [...]
Whoa hey this is totally expected and yet still sort of sad! Jenny Sanford has filed for divorce from her dumb husband, the famous Appalachian Trail solo “hiker” and South Carolina governor (still!) Mark Sanford. How long before Jenny Sanford runs for the governorship of a smarter, classier state?
La Jolla hotel developer Doug Manchester put up $125,000 to collect signatures for Prop 8, California’s absurd anti-gay-marriage initiative intended to overturn Caifornia’s legal gay marriages just to ruin people’s lives, because why not, wingnuts is special. But now richie-rich Mr. Manchester, who previously claimed he was bankrolling the Prop 8 signature effort because of [...]
Pulitzer, anyone? Here is the entirety of the most important news story ever written by a human reporter since Watergate, times the Pentagon Papers, divided by the untold story of 9/11, times a million, minus Martha Gellhorn:
Still no word on whether or not that whole “OMG Sarah and Todd are getting divorced” thing is any more true than the whole “OMG Palin is resigning because she’s under federal investigation” thing. Will these sorts of rumors fall into the same bucket as “Dick Cheney resigning as VP due to Libby/war crimes/etc. and [...]
