Tag Archives: divorce

  Ivana Was Thinking Of Some Mexican Probably

Donald Trump Never Raped His Wife And Even If He Did It Was Classy

Now you can have an authentic Donald Trump experience in your own home
Not that it’s likely to cause even the least hiccup in his campaign prospects, but here’s a whole new Donald Trump mess that’s actually old: the Daily Beast reminds us that during his very classy and completely amicable divorce from Ivana, the former Mrs. Trump accused Donald of raping her. This is not entirely unknown, as the incident is discussed in a 1993 book, Lost Tycoon: The Many Lives of Donald J. Trump, by Harry Hurt III, which is really not a porn name at all. The details of the accusation, from a deposition in the divorce case, are sordid and gross, and not only because they involve Donald Trump. Also, the Daily Beast piece informs us that one of Trump’s attorneys, Michael Cohen, is one huge asshole; his epic hissy-fit at Daily Beast reporters Tim Mak and Brandy Zadrozny is a story in itself. Will any of it hurt the Trump campaign? Why would it? Trump supporters love him because he’s a sociopath, and for all we know, a little rape story could actually boost his popularity since the mean liberal media is beating up on him. Read more on Donald Trump Never Raped His Wife And Even If He Did It Was Classy…
  I Saw Mommy Choked By Papa Bear

Now Even Court Transcripts Are Lying About How Bill O’Reilly Maybe Beated Up His Wife

News man.
Just a couple days after the story broke of Bill O’Reilly’s alleged abuse of his ex-wife, Maureen McPhilmy, court transcripts have surfaced that appear to support the allegation that Bill O’Reilly assaulted McPhilmy in front of their daughter several years ago. Gawker ran excepts from the transcripts of the child custody trial in which McPhilmy was recently awarded custody of the couple’s two teenaged children. The transcripts cover the testimony of psychologist Larry Cohen, who was assigned by the court to interview all four members of the family: Billo, McPhilmy, and their two kids. Read more on Now Even Court Transcripts Are Lying About How Bill O’Reilly Maybe Beated Up His Wife…
  Killing Credibility

Bill O’Reilly: My Daughter Is A Dirty Liar, I Never Beated Up Her Mom

You'd be surprised how many hits you get for 'Bill O'Reilly angry.' Actually, you wouldn't
Bill O’Reilly would like you all to know he never ever assaulted his ex-wife, Maureen McPhilmy — never happened, not true, no way. Forget that story Monday about him dragging her down a staircase by the neck. Shut up, or he’ll rip off your head and shit down your neck hole. In a statement given to Politico by his attorney, O’Reilly denied everything: Read more on Bill O’Reilly: My Daughter Is A Dirty Liar, I Never Beated Up Her Mom…
  Inconceivable!

We Are Shocked To Learn That Bill O’Reilly Beated Up His Wife, Allegedly

Fuck it, we'll do it domestic abusively!
GUYS! You are not going to believe this, but it’s just possible that Bill O’Reilly, in addition to being a scummy liar who lies and bullies people and is generally the worst person ever, also allegedly assaulted his ex-wife sometime before the couple separated in 2010. O’Reilly and his former spouse, Maureen McPhilmy, have been fighting over custody of the couple’s two minor children; according to Gawker, the judge in the case awarded full custody to McPhilmy three weeks ago. While the court records are sealed, a “source familiar with the facts of the case” told Gawker: Read more on We Are Shocked To Learn That Bill O’Reilly Beated Up His Wife, Allegedly…
  it's a trap!

Men’s Rights Dude Tells Fox & Friends Why Marriage Is A Scam To Take His Man-Money

Won't someone please think of the men?
Tuesday’s Fox & Friends had a pretty darned exciting segment with “Men’s Rights” dweeb Peter Lloyd, who calls himself a “suffragent,” and has written a book called Stand By Your Manhood, all about why men should never get trapped into marriage, which is BAD. It wasn’t quite the orgy of feminist-bashing that Fox might have hoped for, but heaven knows they tried. Read more on Men’s Rights Dude Tells Fox & Friends Why Marriage Is A Scam To Take His Man-Money…
  Does He Dare To Eat A Peach?

Let’s All Watch Convicted Felon Dinesh D’Souza Whine About His Martyrdom While Strolling The Beach

Prison life is rough
Just in case you’ve been wondering how professional victim and convicted felon Dinesh D’Souza is handling the horrors of being a Political Prisoner in Obama’s America, Vanity Fair has released an exciting video to pimp their big profile of D’Souza in their May issue. It’s pretty rad, also quite possibly gnarly, and it may indeed be the most fetch thing you’ll see all day! Read more on Let’s All Watch Convicted Felon Dinesh D’Souza Whine About His Martyrdom While Strolling The Beach…
  A Gag Order Would Be Redundant

Alan Grayson’s Bigamist Wife Has Leaking Boob Sacs, We Are Done Here

Artist's representation
Just about everything about Florida Democrat Alan Grayson’s divorce from his wife, Lolita (yes really) has been gross and vaguely horrible, like the claim that he assaulted her (or maybe he didn’t) and his contention that their marriage was invalid from the get-go because she never properly divorced her first husband. Read more on Alan Grayson’s Bigamist Wife Has Leaking Boob Sacs, We Are Done Here…
  The Five People You Meet In Heaven Are Queer As Folk

Steve King: Dogs May Go To Heaven, Gays Not So Much

Jesus
Iowa Congresscantaloupe Steve King has some thoughts on The Gheys, as well as on where you will find them in the afterlife and where you won’t. Sadly, according to King, the odds of Heaven having any really good discotheques are pretty slim, so people who have lived lives of great rectitude should just resign themselves to spending eternity in the equivalent of a Holiday Inn cocktail lounge. Read more on Steve King: Dogs May Go To Heaven, Gays Not So Much…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Day: Please Don’t Agree With Us Please

Vacation plan: Clean apartment, finish reading that Twain biography. Vacation reality: Booze & MLP fanfic
We’ve got mail! Or at least we’ve got people who want to leave comments, but who are not going to be admitted to the Commentariat because we don’t especially want them tromping around our parlor, especially not with what they’ve tracked in on their boots. Today, our sluicing out of the ol’ comments queue starts off with a couple of submissions from people who sorta kinda agree with something Yr Wonkette has published, but there’s just something about the comments that suggests we may not really want to invite these folks in, probably. Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Day: Please Don’t Agree With Us Please…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Day: Stop Using Nerd Words Like ‘Wonkette’

Dear Editor: I have had it up to here with playing second fiddle to a bunch of stupid marshmallow horses...
We have been down to sump out the comments queue, and man, what a mess. We have quite the assortment, and let’s get right to it with this brief note from “Vfunct,” who was not impressed with our headline about the poor schlub who got fired after he told the story of the Great Palin Bumfight of 2014. That wasn’t really all that hard to follow, we thought: “Palins Scalp Witness To Their Epic Snowbilly Battle As First Sort Of Reported By Your Wonkette.” You guys got that, right? Well, Vfunct was Most Displeased: Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Day: Stop Using Nerd Words Like ‘Wonkette’…
  let's not stay together

Pat Robertson: Jesus Wants You To Divorce Your Wife If She Won’t Put Out

Pat Robertson has had quite the week. After sounding the alarm about the apocalyptic asteroid event that could happen next week, or ever, Robertson advised a 700 Club caller that his wife probably withheld sex because of childhood sexual abuse, and that obviously, the caller should just divorce her. Given that surveys have shown that 43% of women recount experiencing sexual dysfunction and 32 percent of mothers report going years without sex, we now expect to see a lot of 700 Club-inspired divorces as husbands ditch their frigid wives. This makes Pat Robertson worse for marriage than Dan Savage, who just thinks you should cheat. Read more on Pat Robertson: Jesus Wants You To Divorce Your Wife If She Won’t Put Out…
  wait until marriage and divorce

Cool Proposed Massachusetts Law Would Make Sure You Don’t Spread Your Legs Until Your Divorce Is Final

Usually we dig on Massachusetts because it is chock full of gay-loving liberals (though we are a little worried about your Jew-jailing schoolchildren right now) but that is because we forget about the weird Republicans that also inhabit the Bay State. Recently, one of them coughed up this dog’s breakfast of an idea: why not punish slutty slut slut people who think they can just get divorced all willy nilly and still keep having sex? In divorce, separation, or 209A proceedings involving children and a marital home, the party remaining in the home shall not conduct a dating or sexual relationship within the home until a divorce is final and all financial and custody issues are resolved, unless the express permission is granted by the courts. Totally reasonable! Read more on Cool Proposed Massachusetts Law Would Make Sure You Don’t Spread Your Legs Until Your Divorce Is Final…
  jerks

Florida Democrat Alan Grayson’s Mouth No Longer Most Dangerous Thing About Him, Allegedly

So here is one of those stories that you really hope turns out not to be true, but it doesn’t look good: Florida Democrat Alan Grayson has been accused by his wife of having a “history of physical violence,” and a judge has issued a temporary protective injunction against him following an incident Saturday in which she says he shoved her against a door. Yes, yes, innocent until proven, and they’re getting divorced so tempers run high, and Grayson’s office issued a statement saying that Lolita Grayson’s claims are “absolutely false, completely unfounded, and clearly designed to vilify and harm Congressman Grayson” and also claims that she attacked him. But she’s the one whose filing for a protective order included photos of “large bruises to her left leg and left shoulder.” And we know that judges tend not to just issue protective orders based on a whim; the Orange County Sheriff’s Office is also conducting a domestic violence investigation. So, much though we like Alan Grayson as a politician, it’s looking like this mommyblog may have to shake its head and wonder how somebody we liked so much could turn out to be such a violent asshole, allegedly. Read more on Florida Democrat Alan Grayson’s Mouth No Longer Most Dangerous Thing About Him, Allegedly…
  the effluent society

Sundays With The Christianists: American History Textbooks For Homeschoolers Whose Father Knows Best

Let’s all hop into the Chrono-Tron for a dynamic trip to the Populuxe world of the 1950s, courtesy of a couple of rightwing Christian textbooks for the homeschool market. Along the way, we’ll learn that small government and pious people of faith created prosperity, and the decade’s high tax rates on the wealthy never have to be mentioned because that would be really inconvenient. Our 8th-grade textbook America: Land I Love (A Beka, 2006) is pretty sure that the economic boom of the ’50s had little to do with anything the government did; rather, the bestest thing about the ’50s is that it was a time when “the moral values of Biblical Christianity provided a just standard of law, order, and mutual respect, which in turn increased material prosperity.” The book’s chapter on the ’50s leads off with a section on “Moral Strength,” and subsections attribute the decade’s good times to “Respect for Christianity,” “Strong families, little crime,” and to the “Sanctity of life” — just in case students need three main paragraphs for their 5-paragraph essays. We learn that even though church attendance was, sadly, not universal, most people respected the Biblical teachings of law, order, and moral decency. Local governments often required stores to close on Sundays, and community activities were planned in many areas not to interfere with church services. School days often began with prayer and Bible reading, and parent—teacher meetings and civic organizations usually opened with prayer. In other words, it was as close to paradise as America got in the 20th century. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: American History Textbooks For Homeschoolers Whose Father Knows Best…
  keep on keepin' on

New Pope Stays Awesome, Will Now Cause So Much Cardinal Fighting About Divorce

New Pope! New Pope! New Pope! New Pope! Say it loud, say it proud, we are still loving Pope Francis, and we are still totally doing our Vatican III watch. Soon we’re going to set up a betting pool or something so we can all try to pick the exact day he will announce. Today, he moves ever closer to V-Three by saying that maybe persecuting divorced people just isn’t the way to go for the Catholic Church. Pope Francis on Friday said couples whose marriages fail should be “accompanied” and not “condemned”, wading into a debate on divorce that is testing his promise to put the Church in touch with modern life. “When love fails, and it fails many times, we have to feel the pain of that failure, accompany the people who have felt the failure of their love,” the pope said during the daily mass he holds in the Vatican. “Don’t condemn them! Walk with them!” he said, adding: “We have to be so close to the brothers and sisters who have suffered the failure of love in their lives”. Ohemgee cue Catholic bishop and cardinal infighting shitstorm. Read more on New Pope Stays Awesome, Will Now Cause So Much Cardinal Fighting About Divorce…