La Jolla hotel developer Doug Manchester put up $125,000 to collect signatures for Prop 8, California’s absurd anti-gay-marriage initiative intended to overturn Caifornia’s legal gay marriages just to ruin people’s lives, because why not, wingnuts is special. But now richie-rich Mr. Manchester, who previously claimed he was bankrolling the Prop 8 signature effort because of his deep love of being married to a lady, has cruelly dumped his wife of 43 years and is cold trying to ruin her lifestyle! MORE »

Pulitzer, anyone? Here is the entirety of the most important news story ever written by a human reporter since Watergate, times the Pentagon Papers, divided by the untold story of 9/11, times a million, minus Martha Gellhorn: MORE »

Still no word on whether or not that whole “OMG Sarah and Todd are getting divorced” thing is any more true than the whole “OMG Palin is resigning because she’s under federal investigation” thing. Will these sorts of rumors fall into the same bucket as “Dick Cheney resigning as VP due to Libby/war crimes/etc. and will be replaced by Condi Rice,” or will they eventually be proven as factual as “John Edwards enjoyed boning dippy videographer while wife had cancer”? Time will tell! But in the meantime, here is a delightful letter from ex-governor Palin’s lawyer, offering to frighten a room full of little children because a blogger was spreading rumors about Sarah Palin’s marriage. [AlaskaReport]

And this is why gay marriage will never work: “Silo and Roy, two male chinstrap penguins native to the South Atlantic, made [New York] headlines six years ago when they came out with their same-sex relationship. … That all ended when Scrappy, a single female newly arrived from SeaWorld in San Diego, caught Silo’s eye. … On Thursday, Roy, all alone, sat disconsolately at the edge of the penguin area, staring at the wall.” Jesus Christ that is about the saddest story ever written. [Fox News]

Newt Gingrich is suddenly a papist! Does he know that he now has to live in Maryland, the designated Catholic slave colony of Lord Baltimore? It’s true. Gingrich was converted in D.C., however, at a Capitol Hill church the other night, after which he went to “celebrate” at the very fancy Cafe Milano restaurant, with lobbyists. Why did he switch to this new Jesus? Well his young (and third) wife is Catholic, so this will shush her up good for a few years, until he divorces her for a new teenager. But obviously the real reason is that he wants to be president and has already calculated some close electoral college scenario where this will put him over the top in a crucial Rust Belt state. [The Caucus]

Oh goodness everybody’s panties were in a lather on Friday when it was revealed that some former business pal of Todd Palin had asked to have his divorce records sealed — presumably because they contained page after blistering page of descriptions of hot sexing with Todd Palin’s wife, a pretty lady who is running for vice president. After all, the National Equirer said she’d had an affair with a business associate of her husband, and how many business associates can a guy have? MORE »

Charles “Chip” Pickering is the only Mississippi Republican left in the House. He is the ultra-conservative son of famous racist/civil rights champion and retired federal judge Charles Pickering. Chip announced in August that he was quitting Congress so he could, of course, spend more time with his family, and get a lucrative lobbying job. The lobbying job will surely come, but on Friday it was announced that Chip is divorcing his wife so he can spend more time with all the various women he’s been connected with over the years. What, a Republican in Congress who commits adultery with the opposite sex? MORE »

John McCain is such a maverick that nobody believes he’s really a Republican, but in the “abandoning your ailing wife for a new young wife” department, McCain is 100% GOP. We will hear lots more about Carol McCain, the swimsuit model Walnuts married when Barack Obama was almost four years old and divorced when Barack Obama was still in high school! But will we see more of her? This is the only known picture of John and Carol.

Poor sad ex-TGI Friday’s gay romancer and New Jersey governor Jim McGreevey is so poor that he lives on cat food and canned beans, so he cannot spare any wooden nickles from his bindle for his betrayed former wife who “should have known he was gay” when she married him. MORE »

Dawn Gibbons has been living in the Nevada Governor’s Mansion alone since earlier this year. Jim Gibbons, the moronic alcoholic waitress-assaulting sex criminal who was comically elected governor in 2006 and took a secret midnight oath of office in his Reno living room, has moved back to that Reno house. He served Dawn with divorce papers, but she says he won’t tell her why he’s divorcing her. MORE »

Chesty Russian President Vladimir Putin denies tabloid reports that he has thrown over his ancient, bloated wife for Russia’s most flexible woman: former Olympic gold medalist Alina Kabaeva, who won in the category of “rhythmic gymnastics.” She is just 24 years old and a member of the Russian Parliament, so this is basically Sarkozy-Bruni all over again except with a sinister KGB troll and a bendy little minx who lounges around in polyester-blend lingerie from the Dress Barn. MORE »