Pat Robertson has had quite the week. After sounding the alarm about the apocalyptic asteroid event that could happen next week, or ever, Robertson advised a 700 Club caller that his wife probably withheld sex because of childhood sexual abuse, and that obviously, the caller should just divorce her. Given that surveys have shown that […]

Usually we dig on Massachusetts because it is chock full of gay-loving liberals (though we are a little worried about your Jew-jailing schoolchildren right now) but that is because we forget about the weird Republicans that also inhabit the Bay State. Recently, one of them coughed up this dog’s breakfast of an idea: why not […]

So here is one of those stories that you really hope turns out not to be true, but it doesn’t look good: Florida Democrat Alan Grayson has been accused by his wife of having a “history of physical violence,” and a judge has issued a temporary protective injunction against him following an incident Saturday in […]

Let’s all hop into the Chrono-Tron for a dynamic trip to the Populuxe world of the 1950s, courtesy of a couple of rightwing Christian textbooks for the homeschool market. Along the way, we’ll learn that small government and pious people of faith created prosperity, and the decade’s high tax rates on the wealthy never have […]

New Pope! New Pope! New Pope! New Pope! Say it loud, say it proud, we are still loving Pope Francis, and we are still totally doing our Vatican III watch. Soon we’re going to set up a betting pool or something so we can all try to pick the exact day he will announce. Today, […]

What is a divorce? It’s when you mix gin and chocolate milk in a rubber glove. Everyone knows that! But did you know that when you “divorce” your spouse, you aren’t married anymore? You would, if you had gone to divorce school. Your divorce education is so important, in fact, that Utah mandates a divorce […]

Welcome, O Wonkers and Wankers, to another edition of the Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we clean the sticky residue of stoopid stories from our browser tabs, cut it with a secret mix of chemicals from Freedumb Industries, and serve it up to you in an elixir that’s easily as tasteful and memorable as […]

From the same not-newspaper of not-record that first broke the story of son-of-a-mill-worker (TRUE STORY! in case you hadn’t heard) John Edwards impregnating himself with the double super secret love child of professional attention whore Rielle Hunter comes this Pulitzer-worthy doozy, which we TOTALLY believe: WITH a White House cheating scan­dal set to explode, President […]

OK, this is the week we finally get to the flappers, you fappers. We’ve been spending a little extra time with our Christian textbooks’ treatment of the 1920s, which turns out to be a fine decade for the authors to lecture about the culture wars of the last quarter of the century. And as usual, […]

The terms of News Corp’s CEO, chairman, and destroyer of all things good in media Rupert Murdoch’s divorce from his pie-jacking, badass, third wife Wendi Deng Murdoch are set to be finalized in front of a New York judge today. And other than the little matter of poor Rupert handing over what some people have […]

At some point after George Zimmerman moved out of the house that he had lived in with his soon-to-be-ex-wife Shellie, he (ALLEGEDLY!) came back and left behind a bullet-riddled shooting range target nailed to one wall of the living room. While lacking the handcrafted artisanal Crazy of the knife-pierced valentine Mia Farrow gave Woody Allen, it seems […]

Ohey look! Unrepentant sexist bag of douche Joe Scarborough is getting divorced. Awww. Couldn’t happen to a more dickish but VERY occasionally not-dickish guy. Congrats, bro. Cool story: somehow Scarborough is getting away with only paying $30K/month in alimony. Of course, 30 large a month is a problem for the rest of us, but not […]

Iowa state Representative Ted Gassman is worried. Since his daughter and her husband got divorced, will his granddaughter turn into a whore? End no-fault divorce, Iowa! Keep Ted Gassman’s 16-year-old granddaughter from sluttin’ it up, with her hormones and the promiscuity and whatever else Ted Gassman wanted to muse about, out loud, in public, to […]

Remember Mark Sanford? He ran off with a lady friend while Governor of South Carolina and thereby graciously gave the world the phrase “hiking the Appalachian trail” as a euphemism for illicit sexytime. (If you are a person of a younger persuasion and do not remember this, just think of him like Anthony Weiner, but […]

Woe be this day, for the fairy tale romantic love of Sarah Palin’s eldest princeling son and his once-preggers bride have filed to dissolve their holiest shotgun union.