Tag Archives: district attorney

  700 Flub

Pat Robertson Pretty Sure Obama’s Going To Behead Everybody Just Like He Did In Oklahoma

Why does Obama hate freedom scams?
Today, we’ve learned a little more about last Thursday’s awful murder in Oklahoma, and according to the local district attorney, it appears that racial animosity may have had more to do with Alton Nolen’s motives than religion did. Read more on Pat Robertson Pretty Sure Obama’s Going To Behead Everybody Just Like He Did In Oklahoma…
  the hand goes up the mouth goes shut

Texas ‘Democrat’ Thinks All You Domestic Violenced Fillies Need To Count Your Blessings And Not Your Bruises

There is a Democrat running for District Attorney in Harris County, Texas, and he is kind of a dick! Not only is he kind of a dick, but we would go so far as to say he is NOT A ALLY! Lloyd Oliver, the criminal defense attorney who wants to oversee all prosecutions in Harris County, which is just a small county with, like, Houston in it, loves to opine on questions like is domestic violence even a thing, really? and shouldn’t the little ladies of Harris County be a little more grateful to the good lord above for seeing fit to send them a man? It is like “waaaah, you domestic violenced me, I am gonna call the cops” they will just not even shut up about it, and Lloyd Oliver here is just trying to drink his Schlitz and watch his sportsball in peace! Remember, ladies, count your blessings, and not your bruises! Read more on Texas ‘Democrat’ Thinks All You Domestic Violenced Fillies Need To Count Your Blessings And Not Your Bruises…
  tush putsch

Buttocks Of New Brooklyn DA Simply Too Marvelous For Words, Predecessor’s Toilet Seat

So here’s a story that seems to plumb new depths of pettiness: Brooklyn, New York’s newly-elected District Attorney Ken Thompson reportedly has asked that the toilet seat in the in the DA office’s private bathroom be replaced before he takes office, according to the New York Post. Thompson was apparently not content just whipping previous DA Joseph Hynes’ ass with 72% of the vote last fall; he apparently needs to wipe away all traces of Hynes’ heinie from the office: Thompson transition aide Arnie Kriss has told a Hynes staffer that Thompson wants the toilet seat in the district attorney’s private bathroom replaced, said a source close to the outgoing DA. “Kriss said Thompson wants a new toilet seat installed in the DA’s private bathroom because he doesn’t want to sit on the same toilet seat that Hynes sat on,” the source said. “You’d think he’d be worried about running the office, not about a toilet seat.” Huh… an anonymous quote from a source with the outgoing office-holder? We are beginning to wonder just how reliable this story is. Yes, what we are getting at is that it may not pass the smell test. Or that Hynes’ people are just butthurt. Read more on Buttocks Of New Brooklyn DA Simply Too Marvelous For Words, Predecessor’s Toilet Seat…
  Prick Perry

Rick Perry Line-Item Vetoes Funding For Public Integrity Unit Because Some Lady Got A DWI, Makes Sense To Us

So you see, Texas has this thing called a Public Integrity Unit, which is supposed to ride herd on public officials’ ethics and spending and stuff. Except now it doesn’t do anything, because Gov. Rick Perry used his line-item veto to eliminate funding for the Unit after the “some lady” in our headline, Travis County DA Rosemary Lehmberg, who runs the Public Integrity Unit, went and got a DWI citation. Lehmberg is a Democrat, but of course her party affiliation has nothing to do with this, what a vile notion! So Perry isn’t exactly saying “Someone, somewhere is a drunk driver, therefore impeach.” But it’s almost that bad, because in announcing his veto of the Public Integrity Unit’s $7.5 million appropriation (less than .01% of Texas’s FY2012-13 budget), Perry had this to say (emphasis ours): “Despite the otherwise good work the Public Integrity Unit’s employees, I cannot in good conscience support continued State funding for an office with statewide jurisdiction at a time when the person charged with ultimate responsibility of that unit has lost the public’s confidence. This unit is in no other way held accountable to state taxpayers, except through the State budgetary process. I therefore object to and disapprove of this appropriation.” “Good work, all other employees of the Public Integrity Unit, please enjoy being fired!” Read more on Rick Perry Line-Item Vetoes Funding For Public Integrity Unit Because Some Lady Got A DWI, Makes Sense To Us…
  blowvember

New York D.A. Busted Starring In Nudie Lewdie Dix Flix

In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate but equally important groups: the cops who investigate crimes, and the district attorneys who star in Deep Throat Part II: The Bonening. A district attorney in upstate New York has admitted that he acted in pornographic movies in the 1970s then lied when questioned about it during his second campaign. Mark Suben, the DA in Cortland County near Syracuse since 2008, held a news conference Friday to say he had lied about his past in the days before this year’s election. “Recently materials have been circulated alleging that I was involved in the adult film industry about 40 years ago in New York. Those allegations are true,” he said. “I was an actor in adult films for a short period in the early 70s. I was also an actor in other venues including off Broadway, soap operas and commercial advertisements.” Read more on New York D.A. Busted Starring In Nudie Lewdie Dix Flix…