We have scanned the YouTubes for the snarliest of snarly Dick Cheney quotes this morning, because THAT’S ALL THERE IS TO COVER TODAY, ugh, and decided this part was better than the ones in which he insults the New York Times and the United States Senate and the “left-wing of the president’s party” and whatever else. Cheney argues that these LEGAL DEBATES are making America look like fags to the Terrorists, so we need to stop it with the “distractions,” which do not include mean old Dick Cheney going on the teevee every day, bitching about how Obama won’t release certain documents he needs to spice up his memoirs. [YouTube]

The government likes being able to listen in on our phone calls. It helps them help us feel safer, see? But to do so, sometimes they need a little help from your friendly local telephone monopoly, which is kind of a problem for some people. Those people sued the phone companies for helping the government make sure that you’re not a vicious terrorist, like you have the right to privacy or something. And, then, the lobbyists got involved.

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