Wonkette

Remember last summer when “real conservatives” were pushing actor Fred Thompson to run for president so as to save the Republican party from the several gay divorcee Mormon liberals also running? And he was like “yeah sure, probably I’ll run or whatever” but didn’t really announce until September, on the Jay Leno program, during a Republican debate that he was too lazy to attend? Well it was during that “probably” time that he launched “imwithfred.com,” his proto-campaign website. And after everyone realized Fred Thompson was a lazy douche and couldn’t win anything, Fred’s people sold this domain name to a bunch of Italian gambling e-entrepreneurs, as you can see in the screen capture above. Vote “Italian Gamblers” for president, the real Republican’s alternative to WALNUTS! [I'm With Fred via The November Blog]

*FRED’S CAMPAIGN BEEN DONE:* It’s confirmed: Grampa Fred “Dipshit McGoo” Thompson, the laziest man ever and lover to tadpoles of all sizes, has dropped out of the presidential race. [MSNBC]

Demonic Fox News hero Carl Cameron apparently has a blog. I’m sorry, meant to say VLOG, short for wevlog. Anyway, I found out from Carl Cameron’s Vlog that Fred Thompson is probably done. Check out Cam’ron’s lack of typos: “In recent days he has said he would return to Tenn.visit with his Mom and make a decision about his future.” Regard.less, here’s what Grampa — who’s locked in a “bronze medal battle” with Mittens in South Carolina — really said: “Stay strong.” [Carl Cameron's Vlog, Politico]

Fred Thompson was asked today what he would do with the economy. Instead of making a real answer, he said something about Law & Order on TNT. When pressed for a real answer, he said economic stimulus plans sound “boring.” Oh shucksy humdinger, that ole Dipshit McGoo sure knows how to tickle the underbelly. He can get away with such things, however, given his reputation as the smartest, least lazy presidential candidate in American history. MORE »

Fred Thompson is still randomly trying to win Iowa, and these days that calls for a Mike Huckabee attack (Huckafuck?) Today, Dipshit McGoo’s Iowa team sent out a press release criticizing Huckabee’s weakness on Thompson’s strongest suit: the ability to take things seriously. MORE »

Fred Thompson’s “own aides and advisers acknowledge privately that there are days when he seems disinterested in running for president at all,” reports Politico. No shit, but how does one explain this: “Indeed, the opportunity to talk substance may be the only thing that’s keeping him in the race” (emphasis ours). And the American people need to know what only Thompson knows: Our wide-mouth bass have crossed into new rivers and er tukking er jobs!! [Politico]