The Twitters broke for a while today, or yesterday, who gives a shit, but once things became operational again, fat retarded donkey Fred Thompson was ready with a one-liner. Did you know that Barack Obama now has his SS arresting everyone on the Internet? This is what the Republicans are saying, and we have no reason to doubt it. [Washington Independent]

ALSO, IT’S IN ANACOSTIA: “FORMER Tennessee Sen. Fred Thompson is cashing in on next month’s inauguration. A source tells us the ex-Republican presidential candidate and part-time actor, who did 142 episodes of ‘Law & Order,’ is offering to rent his luxury one-bedroom condo in Washington, DC, for five days. The price: $30,000. ‘It has a balcony overlooking the inaugural parade route, the Navy Memorial and the US Capitol, and comes with a reserved parking space,’ said our insider.” It also comes with Fred Thompson, who will lecture you about living beyond your means by staying in his condo. [Page Six]

Here’s Fred Thompson, the laziest presidential candidate ever whose entire platform was to chase Mexicans in his red truck and then kick ‘em in the butt, offering for some reason his take on economics, for eight minutes. He raises a number of good points about our economy being founded on bad credit and overconsumption. He does this from his rich mahogany office with a fancy cigar in his mouth. That is all. [RedState]

Remember last summer when “real conservatives” were pushing actor Fred Thompson to run for president so as to save the Republican party from the several gay divorcee Mormon liberals also running? And he was like “yeah sure, probably I’ll run or whatever” but didn’t really announce until September, on the Jay Leno program, during a Republican debate that he was too lazy to attend? Well it was during that “probably” time that he launched “imwithfred.com,” his proto-campaign website. And after everyone realized Fred Thompson was a lazy douche and couldn’t win anything, Fred’s people sold this domain name to a bunch of Italian gambling e-entrepreneurs, as you can see in the screen capture above. Vote “Italian Gamblers” for president, the real Republican’s alternative to WALNUTS! [I'm With Fred via The November Blog]

*FRED’S CAMPAIGN BEEN DONE:* It’s confirmed: Grampa Fred “Dipshit McGoo” Thompson, the laziest man ever and lover to tadpoles of all sizes, has dropped out of the presidential race. [MSNBC]

Demonic Fox News hero Carl Cameron apparently has a blog. I’m sorry, meant to say VLOG, short for wevlog. Anyway, I found out from Carl Cameron’s Vlog that Fred Thompson is probably done. Check out Cam’ron’s lack of typos: “In recent days he has said he would return to Tenn.visit with his Mom and make a decision about his future.” Regard.less, here’s what Grampa — who’s locked in a “bronze medal battle” with Mittens in South Carolina — really said: “Stay strong.” [Carl Cameron's Vlog, Politico]

Fred Thompson was asked today what he would do with the economy. Instead of making a real answer, he said something about Law & Order on TNT. When pressed for a real answer, he said economic stimulus plans sound “boring.” Oh shucksy humdinger, that ole Dipshit McGoo sure knows how to tickle the underbelly. He can get away with such things, however, given his reputation as the smartest, least lazy presidential candidate in American history. MORE »

Fred Thompson is still randomly trying to win Iowa, and these days that calls for a Mike Huckabee attack (Huckafuck?) Today, Dipshit McGoo’s Iowa team sent out a press release criticizing Huckabee’s weakness on Thompson’s strongest suit: the ability to take things seriously. MORE »

Fred Thompson’s “own aides and advisers acknowledge privately that there are days when he seems disinterested in running for president at all,” reports Politico. No shit, but how does one explain this: “Indeed, the opportunity to talk substance may be the only thing that’s keeping him in the race” (emphasis ours). And the American people need to know what only Thompson knows: Our wide-mouth bass have crossed into new rivers and er tukking er jobs!! [Politico]