Tag Archives: diplomacy

  a disgrace to america

TREASONOUS ‘TALKING’ WITH IRAN CLEARLY FURTHERS CASE FOR BOMBING IRAN: “GENEVA — Iran and the big powers opposed to its nuclear program appeared to make progress Thursday in talks that included the highest-level direct discussions with the United States in many years, with both sides agreeing to hold further negotiations and the Iranians pledging to allow foreign inspectors into a newly disclosed uranium enrichment factory.” Upcoming Washington Post column: Should America Arm the Inspectors With Suitcase Nukes To Drop Discreetly Across The Country, Or Some Other Cool 24-ish Death Thing? [NYT] Read more on …
  "the international equivalent of acorn"

Mike Huckabee Suggests Literally Shipping The U.N. To Saudi Arabia

Over the weekend, Mike Huckabee spoke at a “How to Take Back America” conference, an event notable for the fact that it apparently exists. Anyway, obviously in taking back America, Huckabee must start by identifying who took it in the first place, when there must have been something good on TV and no one was looking. No surprises there: it was the crafty Foreigns, who must have planned the taking of America in one of their many languages! Ha! Well, let’s see them try to steal America again after America takes Huckabee up on his suggestion to somehow literally saw off the east side of Midtown Manhattan and let the U.N. float away across the Atlantic, to somewhere that wants it, like to Saudi Arabia, who want it so bad they MADE WAR WITH IT, on 9/11! Read more on Mike Huckabee Suggests Literally Shipping The U.N. To Saudi Arabia…
  free willy

Bill Clinton and Lil’ Kim In World’s Worst Sea World Vacation Photo

You know how some business trips end up with everybody naked in the hot tub singing Don’t Stop Believin’, and others end with everybody awkwardly standing around making small talk while furtively glancing at their watches? Bill Clinton’s North Korea summer vacation trip likely falls into the latter category, which is a historical first for Bill Clinton. [The Awl via … North Korea Propaganda Office, maybe?] Read more on Bill Clinton and Lil’ Kim In World’s Worst Sea World Vacation Photo…
  being mature about it

Martin Peretz Acknowledges His Responsibility For Sidney Blumenthal’s Unfortunate Existence

Soothsaying raconteur Martin Peretz has a little story for you. Come children, gather ye rosebuds, for it is time to hear the sorry tale of Sidney Blumenthal, who is, at this very moment, maybe already on Hillary Clinton’s travel diplomacy team! You see, Blumenthal once worked for Peretz at the New Republic magazine, a “The Spine” avant la lettre, if you will. Despite knowing absolutely nothing about foreign policy (or literally anything) and overcoming his debilitating addiction to borrowing $3000 from Peretz and not paying him back, Blumenthal ascended the ranks of Peretz’s Arabic-language fiction quarterly!  Sacre Blume! Read more on Martin Peretz Acknowledges His Responsibility For Sidney Blumenthal’s Unfortunate Existence…
  this week in elbow news

Clinton’s Elbow Sets Off Diplomatic Crisis

Oh noes, Secretary Clinton won’t be going on previously scheduled trips abroad this week, due to having her elbow amputated and replaced with a bionic joint that shoots laser beams and takes orders directly from the president, Dick Cheney. She needs to rest up and not shake hands with anybody, which means that attendees of international conferences in Trieste and Corfu will have to shake hands with two other jokers from the State Department instead. And THAT is how World War III will start tomorrow. [Washington Post] Read more on Clinton’s Elbow Sets Off Diplomatic Crisis…
  that wasn't so hard now was it

People Like Hillary Clinton Again!

Nobody really knows what Hillary Clinton has been up to, work-wise, since she started her Secretary of State-ing a couple months ago. She went to China or somesuch, yes? And went on a bunch of international teevee programs and suffered through important geopolitical inquiries such as when she fell in love with her husband? Well, 7 in 10 of us approve of the performance of America’s top diplomat, so hooray, she will not be boiled in a cauldron of hot oil next week as previously scheduled. [CNN] Read more on People Like Hillary Clinton Again!…
  we will all die of nukes

Sec. Of State’s Husband Already Holding Long, Secret Chats With Putin At Private Forums

Bill Clinton is, without question, going to ruin the world at some point during his wife’s tenure as Secretary of State. Although some may call this “Clinton Derangement Syndrome,” or whatever the cool term is these days for completely distrusting two people in everything they do, let’s check out Bill Clinton’s first big action after promising to keep a lower profile: getting drunk with Putin at the Davos World Economic Forum, and then holding a long chat with him in a private room guarded by Secret Service agents! Read more on Sec. Of State’s Husband Already Holding Long, Secret Chats With Putin At Private Forums…
  annals of diplomacy

Presumptuous Sarah Palin To Meet With World Leaders

Well looky here at who’s getting too big for her lipsticks! It’s the most presumptuous celebrity in the world, Alaskan teleprompter fraud Sarah Palin. She’ll be meeting with various foreign dignitaries at the U.N. next week in order to show dubious Americans that she can, uh, sit down for crab cakes and fizzy water with the Sultan of Dubai. We are pretty sure this is tantamount to treason, meeting with all these people who can’t even vote in America. How nauseating to see somebody showboating around all glamorous-like with international superstars when there’s real work to do at home in the Real America (not New York). COUNTRY FIRST, PALIN. [Washington Wire] Read more on Presumptuous Sarah Palin To Meet With World Leaders…
  elected officials in this country

Erudite Congressman Explains How Liberal Democrats Communicate

Holy crap, did you know there’s a Republican Congressman named “Thad McCotter”? That was the actual name of every Congressman to serve before 1900. But the McCotter Who Survived, here, is a wonderful educator, too! Look at him explain, on the House floor, and with a ruler, the art of “Speaking Democrat.” He proves that in the Democrat tongue, “DIPLOMACY = MAGIC.” The Democrats are Harry Potter and his wizard friends! Another favorite: “GOVERNMENT = SOCIALISM,” which is a step up from Marxism at least. Teach us more! THAD = RAD. [YouTube] Read more on Erudite Congressman Explains How Liberal Democrats Communicate…
 

Bob Gates Speaks His Mind, Loves The Terrorists

What the hell’s wrong with Bob Gates, the Defense Secretary no one ever talks about? Recently he’s been running his yap with all sorts of liberal Democrat treasonspeak — just like Barack Obama, a known member of Hamas and Hezbollah and the Weather Underground. Apparently he *doesn’t* want to bomb Iran or Syria, or even France! Not only that, he says it’s counterproductive to even consider bombing these countries that need to be bombed. Read more on Bob Gates Speaks His Mind, Loves The Terrorists…
 

Is Carla Bruni Knocked Up Again?

Here is a photo of France’s new First Lady arriving in England with her midget husband. Her outfit speaks diplomatic volumes: flats, so as not to tower over M. Sarkozy; modest tweed, so as to remind Camilla of her youth back in the Depression. (In turn, Camilla wears a trashy befeathered nightmare hat because she is a tart.) But the real question is, why would a rail-thin former model be sporting a little belly pooch? We smell shotgun wedding. [The Sun] Read more on Is Carla Bruni Knocked Up Again?…
 

Hillary Clinton Caught In Millionth Bosnian Lie!

Ha ha, it turns out that Hillary Clinton even lies with her lying about her harrowing overseas adventures. First she says she once ran screaming through the streets of Tuzla smeared with the blood of Bosnian snipers as she singlehandedly brought peace to Northern Ireland; then she says she was the first president’s wife to visit a war zone since Eleanor Roosevelt. Wrong again, Pantsuit! That honor goes to Pat Nixon, who visited Vietnam with Sinbad way back in 1969. Read more on Hillary Clinton Caught In Millionth Bosnian Lie!…
 

Who Does Nancy Pelosi Think She Is, Richard Gere?

Oh Nancy Pelosi’s so cool, she’s the first female Speaker of the House! She wears chic outfits! She’s from San Francisco! She hates China and loves freedom! And now she’s palling around with the Dalai Lama, because she is the most sanctimonious California libtard since Richard Gere got exiled to a hamster sanctuary in Wyoming. Read more on Who Does Nancy Pelosi Think She Is, Richard Gere?…
 

Bush To Check Out This ‘World’ Everyone’s Whining About

Apparently, the president has caught wind of the fact that his visionary leadership has driven world opinion of This Great Nation into the shitter, forcing American students all over the world to act Canadian. And Bush will spend calendar year 2008 traveling abroad to restore our tattered image. Or at least that’s the angle in this Bloomberg story. We have to admit guys, we’re skeptical. Read more on Bush To Check Out This ‘World’ Everyone’s Whining About…
 

John Bolton Hates Bush for Listening to a Girl

John Bolton, former U.S. ambassador to the United Nations and overall sack of shit, is taking his grievances with American foreign policy to the German press now, and they are quite grievancesy! In an interview with the Fatherland’s Spiegel, Bolton claims that Bush’s “foreign policy is in free fall” now that he’s talking to gross people like Iran and Syria. But John Bolton is John Bolton, and he blames it on that chick at the State department, Rice or whatever, for going all vagina-ish on the Administration’s manly sensibilities. Read more on John Bolton Hates Bush for Listening to a Girl…
 

Sissybitch Diplomats No Longer Forced To Iraq

The State Department announced Monday that it had filled its vacancies at the Iraq Embassy, so, ugh, *fine*, there’ll be no mandatory service — for now. This comes in the wake of massive bitching from members of our prestigious diplomatic corps, who were worried they’d be forced to serve somewhere that could actually use them. Read more on Sissybitch Diplomats No Longer Forced To Iraq…
 

Dipnote: You Pussy Diplomats, The Anbar Party Don’t Never Stop

Foreign Service Officers (FSOs) having been bitching to high heaven ever since Condi & Her Power Friends ordered them to serve in Iraq. Fortunately the State Department has its savvy, Y2K-inspired Internet Weblog, Dipnote, to quell this undiplomatic sand-in-the-vagina-fest. Yesterday, an FSO currently serving in Iraq — he volunteered, of all things! — has a special message to his trembling colleagues in Foggy Bottom: The Marines over here think you’re “weenies.” Read more on Dipnote: You Pussy Diplomats, The Anbar Party Don’t Never Stop…
 

Diplomats Bitching About Mandatory Iraq Service

The State Department recently announced that it would order some diplomats to serve at the U.S. Embassy in Iraq due to a lack of volunteers, what with it being Iraq and all. As a 22-year-old, I prefer the idea of a diplomat-draft over that of a draft-draft, but these emissaries ain’t feeling it. The State Department held a town hall yesterday to run through the gripes (it’s all “dangerous” over there or something), and it’s pretty clear now that our diplomatic corps is just a bunch of pussies. Read more on Diplomats Bitching About Mandatory Iraq Service…
 

White House Urges Congress Not to Learn From History

A House resolution that would recognize the 1915 Armenian Genocide as, well, a genocide is running into some problems: America’s strategic interests! You see, we are best (strategic) buds with the internationally despised Turks, because they let us use an air base. And as we all know, access to air bases trumps symbolic recognition of unthinkable acts of evil every time. Read more on White House Urges Congress Not to Learn From History…
 

Even the Nazi Pope Has Had Enough of Condi

Recently it was revealed that Condoleezza Rice, GQ’s “MOST POWERFUL PERSON IN DC,” can’t actually get the New York Times to return her phone calls or print her lame op-eds. According to the BBC, they’re not the only ones to snub her — the Pope refused to meet with Condi last month. The Pope! The guy just met with those stupid British parents who killed their little girl at the Tapas bar or whatever, and he won’t meet with Condi? Read more on Even the Nazi Pope Has Had Enough of Condi…
 

Condi, Karen, and Cal: Friends in Diplomacy

In this six-minute, State Department-provided clip, Karen Hughes (Under Secretary of State for Public Diplomacy) and Condoleezza Rice, GQ’s MOST POWERFUL PERSON IN WASHINGTON, DC, sit on a couch and chat with Cal Ripken, Jr., the famous baseball player. He apparently works for State now? As… Ambassador of Baseball? Read more on Condi, Karen, and Cal: Friends in Diplomacy…
 

Saudis Might Acknowledge Existence of Iraq

Our best friends the Saudis are doing us yet another solid — such bros they are! They might, maybe, if they feel like it, upgrade diplomatic relations with that little experiment we’re running over in Iraq. They still don’t really trust Nouri al-Maliki’s Shia government (who does!), and they think he’s kind of a pawn of Iran (who isn’t!) but hey, maybe they’ll open an embassy. You know, eventually. Read more on Saudis Might Acknowledge Existence of Iraq…