Tag: diplomacy

White House Will Happily Pretend Yesterday’s Syria Breakthrough Was Their Plan All Along

We watched Storage Wars last night instead of the President's address on Syria, but we read the transcript and we give it a B. Hit the right marks, soaring rhetoric kinda phoned-in. So now let's commence the giving of...

Your Handy Wonkette Guide To How You Should Feel About Edward Snowden

It has been nearly a month since Edward Snowden woke us from our pleasant dream that the Fourth Amendment was still a thing, yet amazingly, the NSA's legal-sure-why-not data suck-and-swallow is still a major story. Yr Wonkette loves the...

Mitt Romney Lies About His BFF Bibi

When we were in high school we had a friend who claimed his family was really tight with Morgan Freeman’s, and he’d tell us all kinds of hilarious stories about the good times he’d had, just hanging out with...

Women Don’t Need 3,054 Languages To Call Men Hypocrites

Can women have it all? Not yet! At least, not until I get an Iron Man suit -- sorry, Iron Woman. Are liberals hypocrites about national security?! How dare you, Salon! That's so mean! Anyway, probably. I mean, liberal...

U.S., Other Sharia-Based Countries Destroying Israel With UN

The Obama administration is trying very hard at the moment to not have to call the Israeli settlements in Palestine illegal. Oh, diplomacy, you're so silly. In order to do so, the U.S. has tried to make a deal...

Professional President Newt Gingrich Says Obama ‘Amateurish’ On Egypt

"I think the fact that they appointed a very able diplomat Frank Wisner and within two days were publicly contradicting him is you know so amateurish," Gingrich told CNN Chief National Correspondent John King. "I was with John Bolton...

It’s All Going To Be OK: The Zoo Pandas Signed a Five-Year Extension

Why do we suddenly see members of Congress referring inanely to nerdface Hu Jintao, the weakest leader in the history of the People's Republic of China, as a "dictator" and a murdering "gangster"? Our pandas have been SECURED. That's...

Ambassador Fired For Saying Thing About Gaddafi In WikiLeaks Cable

In what appears to be the first diplomatic casualty from the latest WikiLeaks revelations, the U.S. ambassador to Libya has returned to Washington and is likely to leave his post, U.S. officials said Tuesday. Libya doesn't like American ambassadors speculating...

North Korea Wants Eric Clapton

According to diplomacy nip-slip site WikiLeaks, North Korea loves Eric Clapton and wants him to perform in their country as a Clapton-American favor of "good will," which is what North Koreans call temporarily halting their development of nuclear weapons...

John Bolton Has An Opinon About Wikileaks: Barack Obama Sucks

Have you been waiting and waiting for former UN ambassador/UN hater John Bolton to chime in with some wingnut bullshit regarding WikiLeaks? Well, the God of America heard your prayers! (American God did not, however, hear all your other...

WikiLeaks Documents: Canada Doesn’t Trust U.S., Doesn’t Feel Loved By It

A trove of diplomatic cables, obtained by WikiLeaks and made available to a number of publications, disclose a perception by American diplomats that Canadians “always carry a chip on their shoulder” in part because of a feeling that their...

The UN Wants Your Guns So It Can Kill You With Them, For Irony

The most powerful branch of the U.S. government, the UN, is going to take away all your guns and force all Americans to dip their fries in disgusting mayonnaise like a common Belgian. At least America still has the...

Foreign Leaders No Longer Excited By Poor Old Obama

At one point, foreign leaders all wanted a piece of Obama so they would be able to tell their countrymen, "I know The Black Guy!" But as you can see from this sad photo of the G20 leaders gathering...

Kim Jong-Il Lets Jimmy Carter Run Country While He’s Away

Oh, Jimmy Carter is in North Korea right now? That's funny, because Kim Jong-il is in China with his son. Yeah, hope you enjoy talking to a country full of Kim Jong-il's servants, peanut man, because ol' Jong face...

JOHN KERRY IS SO DIPLOMATIC, HE SHOULD BE SECRETARY OF STATE!: When a reporter suggested that he had become the "de facto secretary of state," Kerry grew flustered, sputtering, "I don't want -- you know, I don't even --...

Michael Steele Says A Thing Again! This One’s About Loving An ACORN

Michael Steele! It has been a full forty-five minutes since he has last tempted John Boehner to actually murder him. Things are quiet... too quiet. Back on The Streets when things were too quiet, this meant that one of...