What the hell’s wrong with Bob Gates, the Defense Secretary no one ever talks about? Recently he’s been running his yap with all sorts of liberal Democrat treasonspeak — just like Barack Obama, a known member of Hamas and Hezbollah and the Weather Underground. Apparently he *doesn’t* want to bomb Iran or Syria, or even France! Not only that, he says it’s counterproductive to even consider bombing these countries that need to be bombed. MORE »

Here is a photo of France’s new First Lady arriving in England with her midget husband. Her outfit speaks diplomatic volumes: flats, so as not to tower over M. Sarkozy; modest tweed, so as to remind Camilla of her youth back in the Depression. (In turn, Camilla wears a trashy befeathered nightmare hat because she is a tart.) But the real question is, why would a rail-thin former model be sporting a little belly pooch? We smell shotgun wedding. [The Sun]

Ha ha, it turns out that Hillary Clinton even lies with her lying about her harrowing overseas adventures. First she says she once ran screaming through the streets of Tuzla smeared with the blood of Bosnian snipers as she singlehandedly brought peace to Northern Ireland; then she says she was the first president’s wife to visit a war zone since Eleanor Roosevelt. Wrong again, Pantsuit! That honor goes to Pat Nixon, who visited Vietnam with Sinbad way back in 1969. MORE »

Oh Nancy Pelosi’s so cool, she’s the first female Speaker of the House! She wears chic outfits! She’s from San Francisco! She hates China and loves freedom! And now she’s palling around with the Dalai Lama, because she is the most sanctimonious California libtard since Richard Gere got exiled to a hamster sanctuary in Wyoming. MORE »

Apparently, the president has caught wind of the fact that his visionary leadership has driven world opinion of This Great Nation into the shitter, forcing American students all over the world to act Canadian. And Bush will spend calendar year 2008 traveling abroad to restore our tattered image. Or at least that’s the angle in this Bloomberg story. We have to admit guys, we’re skeptical. MORE »

John Bolton, former U.S. ambassador to the United Nations and overall sack of shit, is taking his grievances with American foreign policy to the German press now, and they are quite grievancesy! In an interview with the Fatherland’s Spiegel, Bolton claims that Bush’s “foreign policy is in free fall” now that he’s talking to gross people like Iran and Syria. But John Bolton is John Bolton, and he blames it on that chick at the State department, Rice or whatever, for going all vagina-ish on the Administration’s manly sensibilities. MORE »

The State Department announced Monday that it had filled its vacancies at the Iraq Embassy, so, ugh, *fine*, there’ll be no mandatory service — for now. This comes in the wake of massive bitching from members of our prestigious diplomatic corps, who were worried they’d be forced to serve somewhere that could actually use them. MORE »

Foreign Service Officers (FSOs) having been bitching to high heaven ever since Condi & Her Power Friends ordered them to serve in Iraq. Fortunately the State Department has its savvy, Y2K-inspired Internet Weblog, Dipnote, to quell this undiplomatic sand-in-the-vagina-fest. Yesterday, an FSO currently serving in Iraq — he volunteered, of all things! — has a special message to his trembling colleagues in Foggy Bottom: The Marines over here think you’re “weenies.” MORE »

The State Department recently announced that it would order some diplomats to serve at the U.S. Embassy in Iraq due to a lack of volunteers, what with it being Iraq and all. As a 22-year-old, I prefer the idea of a diplomat-draft over that of a draft-draft, but these emissaries ain’t feeling it. The State Department held a town hall yesterday to run through the gripes (it’s all “dangerous” over there or something), and it’s pretty clear now that our diplomatic corps is just a bunch of pussies. MORE »

A House resolution that would recognize the 1915 Armenian Genocide as, well, a genocide is running into some problems: America’s strategic interests! You see, we are best (strategic) buds with the internationally despised Turks, because they let us use an air base. And as we all know, access to air bases trumps symbolic recognition of unthinkable acts of evil every time. MORE »

Recently it was revealed that Condoleezza Rice, GQ’s “MOST POWERFUL PERSON IN DC,” can’t actually get the New York Times to return her phone calls or print her lame op-eds. According to the BBC, they’re not the only ones to snub her — the Pope refused to meet with Condi last month. The Pope! The guy just met with those stupid British parents who killed their little girl at the Tapas bar or whatever, and he won’t meet with Condi? MORE »