Tag: dinosaurs

Creationist Ken Ham Cannot Believe The Washington Post Would Lie About Dinosaurs

Ken Ham is right for the first time ever in his whole life.
It's rabbit holes all the way down.

Sandy Hook ‘Truther’ Planned His Very Own Mass Shooting … Or So They Want Us To Think

A Las Vegas man who believed Sandy Hook was faked has been arrested on charges of plotting a real massacre. If you believe the government, of course.

Louie Gohmert Pretty Sure Space-Queers Wouldn’t Be Very Good At Saving Humanity

Texas Republican Congresshick Louie Gohmert has some thoughts to share about gays, outer space, Matt Damon, and traditional het’rosexual romance!
That's his "I'm going to pull over this car!" face.

Speaker Paul Ryan Will Swat Donald Trump On His Bottom For Being Naughty Racist

If there's one thing that makes Republicans say "Oh my stars!" and "Well I never!" it is racism. STOP LAUGHING, we are not done writing this lede yet. As we all know, Abraham Lincoln and Martin Luther King, Jr....
HISTORY FACT.

Idaho Lawmaker Will Make Sure Kids Learn Science Directly From King James Bible

You know how stupid liberal science textbooks are. They're all, "Once upon a time there was nothing, but then the universe banged itself real hard, and then a bunch of atoms shot out and landed on earth and turned into...
And that's when Noah's stupid gay peace dove got eated by a dinosaur.

Kentucky Gets To Pay Creationists To Dress Up Like Noah’s Ark Bible Dinosaurs, Yippee!

Exciting news, if you're a creationist! If you'll remember, a very weird creationist man named Ken Ham, who literally believes the earth is about five minutes old and all the dinosaurs died like eight seconds ago, is building a...
I've got a bad feeling about this...

Luke Skywalker Was A Jedi Jihadi, So Emperor Trump Banned Him: Your Saturday Nerdout

Are all you nerdlings ready for the big media frenzy surrounding that movie that comes out next Friday? We are, of course, talking about the most anticipated film of the year, the sequel to that beloved classic that there's...
HISTORY FACT.

Dumb Millennials Don’t Even Believe Jesus Rode Dinosaurs

Millennials, they are THE WORST. They're always like "Mommy, can you write a note to my teacher in medical school to say he's being mean?" and "Hey Taylor Swift, why is this gross old lady Alanis Morissette on stage...
Marco Rubio may very well believe this is happening right now, in the sky.

Surprise! Marco Rubio’s Church Is Full Of Demon-Wrasslers, Gay-Haters And Creationist Derp

Marco Rubio has two churches in Miami. One, as you might imagine, is the Catholic kind, because the Cuban-American Rubio is Catholic. The other one is a ginormous Baptist affair, featuring demon-wrasslin', homo-hatin,' and a sincerely held religious belief...
How good do you heart America?

Take This Quiz To Find Out If You’re A Real Conservative Or A Stupid Liberal Who Hates America

Ever wondered if you are a Smart Conservative or a total America-hating idiot? Probably not, but just in case you're confused, the folks at the National Center for Public Policy Research -- who, apparently, are not in any way...
We know what we're talking about, right?

Homeschool Mom Disproves Evolution Because Science Museum Is Stupid

Meet Megan Fox, who is not the dopey actress from the Transformers movies, but is instead a dopey homeschooling mom who doesn't believe that  organisms transform over time. She has her very own YouTube channel where she reviews children's...
jews and baseball

Hey, The Jews, Just Ask Yourselves ‘What Would Sandy Koufax Do?’

It is a day that ends in "y" (shut up, weekends don't count), so of course we have some news you can maybe use: a major league dilemma for Jewish baseball fans this year, watching football is still popular...

Kentucky, Land Of Bipartisan Derp, Scales New Heights Of Stupid About Climate Change

Let no one say that Kentucky's lawmakers will not engage in the most heroic levels of dumb when it comes to climate change denialism. If there were an Olympics in derp, the Kentucky Lege would win gold in every...

Florida Congressman Thinks Dinosaurs … Climate Change … We Honestly Don’t Even Know

There is both good news and bad news for America with regard to Congress being in the grip of shitwitted climate change-denying wingnuts. The bad news is that we’ll be buying oceanfront property in Cincinnati before these nitwits admit...

Undercover Bathhouse Spy & Michele Bachmann Mentor Wins MN GOP Primary

Hey, remember Allen Quist, the homophobic Gollum lookalike who Mother Jones profiled a few months back? You know, Michele Bachman's political mentor, the chap who "went undercover at an adult bookstore and a gay bathhouse in an effort to...

‘BudgetTravel.com’ Joins War On Christians

Quick, everybody! To the Youtube version of the Book of Leviticus! There, you can listen about what kind of extra-virgin olive oil to anoint yourself with while you scatter the ashes of BudgetTravel.com's charred corpse! But why are you...