December 8, 2013
So you’ve been furloughed. You’re probably wandering around the house in a bathrobe, thinking it would be cool to leave the house, but then thinking that you probably should not leave the house because of the whole part where you no longer have money to spend. Well, you have no monies, and therefore cannot go [...]
Just because you are busy suing and getting sued by every partner you have ever had is no reason to ever turn your back for a second, James O’Keefe. That is when a newer, prettier, younger you will All About Eve you every time! So what super-slick moves is newest James O’Keefe apostle/role-stealer Mr. John [...]
What is this Internet Magick right here? The little Internet djinn are good-humored today and casting spells on Christine O’Donnell’s Amazon related products page for everyone’s amusement. This is apparently referred to as an “Amazon bomb,” but that just feels so military industrial. How about an “Amazon sorcery orgasm” or something a little less war-like [...]
2012 DILDO NEWS: “The most recent vibrator is Mike Huckabee,” reports George Will. George Will will not allow Republicans who talk about Barack Obama’s Kenyan birth to be the next president of the United States. That is uncouth. So, like a sporting gentleman, he will refer to them as dildos until they go away.
There is, remarkably, a 28-year-old woman who is running for Congress from Virginia named Krystal Ball (JESUS CHRIST, BAD PARENTS). As we have, apparently, noted in the past, this woman is quite attractive, in terms of fornication. But we wrote that before photos showed up on the Internet of her fellating a Rudolph the Red-Nosed [...]
It took James O’Keefe all weekend to come up with an alibi for why he tried to trick a CNN reporter into coming on a boat filled with lube and dildos and “an obvious sex tape machine,” but now he has posted his brilliant explanation on the Internet. “She would have had to consent before [...]
Here is the corporate troll and traitor Joe Barton (R-Texas) apologizing to BP for the terrible inconvenience America has caused BP, and also promising to move back to communist-land because he hates America so much. Now a Republican congressman from Florida wants Barton kicked off the energy committee for being such a dildo.
By the Comics CurmudgeonDid you ever see one of those romantic comedies where the two principals just straight up frickin’ loathe each other, and try to undermine and destroy one another, but then, in the stunning turnaround that generally happens at the end of Act I or thereabouts, it turns out that all that animosity [...]
By the Comics CurmudgeonYou know, a little more than a year ago, we elected a dude for president whose whole campaign hinged on the word “change.” It was almost like Americans actually wanted things to be different, though of course that turned out not to be true at all, since it turns out that everything [...]
Unlike our amoral right-wing friends, here at Wonkette we don’t start the War on Xmas until after Thanksgiving (Cyber-Sex Thursday). But here’s a special preview of the kind of trash you can expect to find in our annual War on Xmas Gift Guide: Oh hey, it’s an Obama Dildo, so you can, uh, practice your [...]
By the Comics CurmudgeonAs your Comics Curmudgeon demonstrated earlier this year, political cartoonists love butts. Just love ’em! The ass is the most polysemous of images, representing everything from sex appeal to debasement and humiliation to an actual butt. So we’re presenting a panoply of ass shots this week, with a greater emphasis on sodomy. [...]
By the Comics CurmudgeonDo you remember ’round about a year ago when it was all “hope and change” this and “yes we can” that, and everything was going to be fixed, forever? Ha ha! Obviously all of our problems are intractable and terrible and nobody can fix them, no matter how nice his teeth are. [...]
By the Comics Curmudgeon Look, one of the things we namby-pamby liberals get critiqued for is our inability to just stand up and show some moral courage, to say that some things are right and some are wrong. Usually we’re all like “Oh, there’s context” or “It’s society’s fault” or “Who are we to judge” [...]
By the Comics CurmudgeonRemember a couple of months ago, when everything was all Hope this and Change that and Yes We Can whatever, and you thought that everything was going to be all sweetness and light from here on in? FOOLS! Little did you know that the nightmare would just go on, forever and ever, [...]