Tag Archives: diebold

  steal this vote

Meet Your New Diebold!

Hey, remember when they stole Ohio? Hahaha, yeah, good times. (Here is a quick story explainering the bizarre discrepancies between exit polls, which showed John Kerry winning handily, and the tabulated results, which flipped that. It has the special bonus of world’s greatest pollster Dick Morris musing that since exit polls are like never wrong, and are used in Third World countries to determine if an election’s been thieved, Occam’s Razor insists that the easiest answer is not that the machines were hacked, but that the liberal media fixed … the exit polls. To dissuade Bush voters from coming out. A man of fierce intellect, most certainly.) Right, so! It is time to meet your new Diebold machines, from H.I.G., a company of fine fellows who to the man have donated to Mitt Romney, and a full third of whose board of directors come from Bain? Oh yeah, them. Read more on Meet Your New Diebold!…
  rise of the machines

Diebold Machines Lose Tens of Thousands of Votes in South Bronx, So What Who Cares

This just in: a catastrophic miscarriage of justice took place in the South Bronx when tens of thousands of votes went uncounted in the 2010 Senate and Governor’s election, but luckily South Bronx is full of Poors and also everyone knew who was going to win anyway. This came to light when the radio station WNYC reported in 2011 that tens of thousands of  votes had been lost in the 2010 races for both Senate seats and and the Governor’s mansion. In response to the very serious problem of the losing of 30% of votes cast, the state Board of Election and the electronic voting machines’ manufacturer ES&S (née Diebold) assembled a crack team of experts to figure out what went wrong. According to WNYC: There’s some kind of defect in these machines that when they overheat they can create what they’re calling phantom votes,” said Larry Norden, a deputy director with the Brennan Center. Read more on Diebold Machines Lose Tens of Thousands of Votes in South Bronx, So What Who Cares…
 

Crazed Voter Murders Diebold Voting Machine

Our national nervous breakdown continues: A 43-year-old Pennsylvania man calmly showed up at his polling place, went to his assigned machine and destroyed it with a “metal cat paperweight.” The Allentown polling station was, of course, in a nursing home. Read more on Crazed Voter Murders Diebold Voting Machine…
 

Diebold’s Totally Going To Murder HBO

HBO’s got a new documentary all about how you might as well stay home Tuesday because the vote totals were probably programmed in the e-voting machines months ago. The movie premieres Thursday night. Read more on Diebold’s Totally Going To Murder HBO…
 

Rumors on the Internets: Reconfirming What We Already Knew

Well, that’s one conspiracy from 2004 confirmed — smart kids demonstrate Diebold hack. [Princeton] Or maybe not, it’s impossible to know who to trust. [The Swamp] Jim Webb thinks there are too many damn lesbians in the Navy and he doesn’t trust them — we very strongly disagree. [Wizbang Politics] Read more on Rumors on the Internets: Reconfirming What We Already Knew…
 

Remainders: In The Future Everyone Will Be Famous For The Length of Their YouTube Clip

Computer nerd explains how to modify voting machines, confuses the shit out of lawmakers. [Google Video] Those witty, witty computer hackers. [Flickr] Canadian band is banned from US, after refusing customs agents’ request to, “play some Skynyrd.” [Boing Boing] Read more on Remainders: In The Future Everyone Will Be Famous For The Length of Their YouTube Clip…
 

Georgia Voters Let Down Nation, Selves

Jack Ashford could not be reached for comment. (AP) In what could be a worrying sign of the direction of this year’s midterm elections, Wonkette favorite Cynthia McKinney is facing a runoff after not quite netting 50% in her Democratic primary. We feel partly responsible, having let up in our obsessive McKinney coverage following news that she wouldn’t be indicted for laying a beat down on a Capitol Police officer. Read more on Georgia Voters Let Down Nation, Selves…
 

Remainders: Learning Curves

* A little help in preparation for Bush’s boys: Karl Rove, meet H. R. Haldeman. [Spot-On] * Practice makes perfect when it comes to welcoming the president with a fart chorus. [Google Video] Read more on Remainders: Learning Curves…