Wonkette

Hillary Clinton may have conceded the Democratic presidential nomination last weekend, but that doesn’t mean her old ex-friend Dick Morris doesn’t have some more strategic advice for her! You have heard of this “Mark Penn” character, yes? The pile of human glop that would slither out in front of the teevee cameras and gurgle about Hillary’s balls or whatever, until he got fired for being a Colombian sewer-hound? It seems that Mark Penn is to blame for Hillary’s failure, which everybody knows, and now Dick Morris knows it, too. MORE »

The greatest American hero since forever, Sinbad, is actually a traitor to his country because he does not pay for it. If you’ll recall, he was the leading provocateur in “Sinbadgate” (named after Sheryl Crow, an important participant), the whistle-blowing scandal about Hillary’s Clinton’s fake trip to Bosnia. But now the funniest comedian of some decade is one of the most high profile tax delinquents in the United States, according to the I.R.S. Similarly heroic politico Dick Morris is also a tax delinquent, but he’s also not a human. MORE »

Now that Hillary has decided to extort the Democratic party, she has officially become less trustworthy than Dick Morris, the Clintons’ evil former strategist who now wishes them both dead. This means we can quote Dick Morris’ column and assume his claims are true, because why not? On today’s agenda: that time Hillary Clinton said Chelsea was hanging out by the Twin Towers on 9/11, and how she wasn’t at all. MORE »

According to tricky Dick Morris, Hillary flirted with the idea of running for governor of Arkansas in 1990, because Bill wanted to run for president and, if he lost, wanted to come back and run that shitty state vicariously. She probably would’ve lost to Barack Obama somehow, though. [NYP]

Toe-sucking whore renter Dick Morris has apparently denied being a client of DC Madam Deborah Jean Palfrey’s prostitution service, according to an AP correction:

In a March 9 story about a former escort service owner pleading not guilty to racketeering, The Associated Press erroneously reported that political consultant Dick Morris acknowledged being a client. Morris said the claim is “totally untrue.” A corrected version appears below.

But Palfrey says — in a letter posted today on WTOP’s website — that Morris repeatedly admitted to being a client. Where did he do the admitting? Palfrey says “on numerous occasions on national television, in 1996.” MORE »

* Heard on the Hill: Rep. Norm Dicks, chair of the House Appropriations subcommittee on Interior and environment, wears a jacket with the words “Mr. Chairman” emblazoned on the front. On Saturdays. While getting a haircut… No members of Congress at Madame Tussauds, thank god. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: All-around douchebag and Abramoff buddy Michael Scanlon is suing his ex-wife for all the money in the world plus one dollar… New York state legislator starting a bizarre Courage Cup controversy. Features this sentence: “We will have nothing further to do with this person or his imaginary polo activity….” [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Darryl Strawberry was at Blue Gin Saturday night, where the hell were you? … NICOLAS CAGE IS COMING, PREPARE YOURSELF. [Examiner]
* Under the Dome: Staffer steals Rep. Tom Tancredo’s car, smashes it into another car, tells Cap Police he had permission. If it weren’t for stupid Libby we’d have just written about this all day long… Crazy former Marine sending crazy letters to congresswoman. [The Hill]
* Shenanigans: Tim Mahoney, who unseated Mark Foley, has directed his staff to communicate via instant messenger… David Gregory: Airport line skipper. [Politico]
* The Sleuth: Dick Morris continues to entertain. He’s being served with a subpoena by the DC Madam who’s threatening to sell her client list, all while trying to make an anti-Hillary documentary. [WP] MORE »

* Reliable Source: Spotted: “Morgan Fairchild at the Four Seasons yesterday with Valerie Plame and Joe Wilson.” [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Dick Morris, David Bossie to make anti-Hillary movie… Joe Biden got shot down when trying to talk to Barack Obama on the Senate floor. [Examiner]
* Shenanigans: News you can use: “New Mexico State Senator Steve Komadina introduced the ‘Right to Eat Enchiladas Act’ on the first legislative day of the session in mid-January.” [Politico]
* Page Six: George Soros called us all Nazis or something. [NYPost]

* Heard on the Hill: Joe Biden has a history of saying crazy, stupid stuff… Rep. Emanuel Cleaver (D-Mo.) thrilled to be mentioned by the blog of Bon Appetit magazine… Harry Reid forgot when Valentine’s Day is! [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Geraldine Ferraro’s back! With some lobbying firm. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Would you like to read the insane ramblings of consistently-wrong pundit Dick “Hillary Is a Lesbian Vampire” Morris? Here they are, enjoy… Creative Coalition party sounds like a good time. Frank Luntz called himself “the ugliest person in this room.” … Jim Talent’s back! Eatin’ some pizza, talkin’ about god. [Examiner]
* Under the Dome: Chuck Schumer has imaginary friends. They’re called the Baileys. Last year, they were called the O’Reillys. That’s “too ethnic,” apparently… Gerald Ford had way more nasty things to say about everyone that he didn’t want anyone to hear until he was dead. [The Hill]
* Shenanigans: The DCCC is $9 million in debt. Nancy Pelosi spent $30k on her Holiday Party! [Politico]
* Page Six: Bill Clinton doesn’t want to be president of your stupid university. [NYP]
* The Sleuth: More Ford stuff: NYDN reporter got Ford drunk. It has some terrible secret from 1974. [WP]

Forgotten scumbag Dick Morris has finally given us a reason to support Hillary in ‘08: He says he’ll leave the country if she wins! MORE »

Time mag has a lengthy piece on Joe Lieberman’s primary campaign, full of fun anecdotes — like how the Senator’s denying that the SOTU kiss ever even happened, and how Harry Reid has declined to ask bloggers to be nice to Joe. It doesn’t paint a pretty picture of Lieberman’s chances. Then we read this: MORE »