“Blurry white guys for change!” MORE »

• Heard on the Hill: The only candidates Mark Foley donated to this cycle were Bob Ney and George Allen… A former Page journalist of the Male persuasion tells a hilarious and harrowing story of being hit on in public, at a restaurant, by a visibly drunk Mark Foley. The journo later went to a party at Foley’s house. [Roll Call]
• Reliable Source: Teddy Roosevelt finally won, for the very first time, the Presidents’ Race at the Nationals’ last game of the season. But he was disqualified for delaying the real baseball game. [WP]
• Yeas and Nays: Everyone is returning money from Mark Foley’s PAC… National Crime Prevention Council spokesperson asked how McGruff the Crime Dog would deal with Mark Foley, declines to comment. [Examiner]
• Under the Dome: Dead rat found in home shared by Chuck Schumer and Dick Durbin, Durbin refuses to pick it up… “Back in 1998, The Hill ran an item about a Foley congressional travel-expense disclosure showing that while a guest of Disney for the opening of Walt Disney World’s Animal Kingdom in Orlando, Fla., he paid for massages at establishments called Muscles & Bustles and the Yacht/Beach Health Club.” [The Hill]
• Lowdown: Get your fill of creepy Mark Foley quotes. “You put 11- and 18-year-olds together in a camp where they’re nude, I think it is a recipe for disaster. It is like putting a match next to a gasoline can.” [NYDN]
• Rush & Molloy: Carrie Fisher is haunted by the ghost of the gay Republican operative who died in her bed. Aren’t we all? [NYDN]

* Disapproval of Bush could drive a rejection of Republican candidates in November. GOP pollster: “Democrats will have an easier time of getting out their vote because of their intense disapproval of the president. That means we Republicans are going to have to bring our ‘A’ turnout game in November.” [WP]
* Rumsfeld’s “grip on the Defense Department is slipping as some uniformed officers increasingly chart their own course.” [W$J]
* Republicans back Rumsfeld on Sunday talk shows. [NYT, USAT]
* 48 American troops have died in Iraq so far this month. [USAT]
* If Roe were overturned, 22 states are likely to “impose significant new restrictions on abortion.” [USAT]
* Josh Bolten officially takes office today; he gave Andy Card an Egg McMuffin on his way out. [USAT]
* Time magazine names Sens. Thad Cochran, Kent Conrad, Dick Durbin, Ted Kennedy, Jon Kyl, Carl Levin, Richard Lugar, John McCain, Olympia Snowe, and Arlen Specter as the nation’s best; Sens. Daniel Akaka, Wayne Allard, Jim Bunning, Conrad Burns, and Mark Dayton considered the worst. [Time]
* Immigration rallies “have also energized those who support a crackdown on illegal immigration.” [NYT]
* Can Rep. Tom DeLay be a lobbyist next? [WP]
* Sen. Ted Stevens (R-Alaska) brings sadness to Washington state in an effort to take down Sen. Maria Cantwell (D-Wash.). [WP]
* Supreme Court justices spark laughter just from speaking funny. [USAT]

This Sunday’s shows undertook a major military operation. Between the anniversary of the invasion of Iraq and “Operation Swarmer,” talking heads all but saluted. Russ Feingold managed to grab some of the spotlight, and his motion to censure President Bush gave Bill Kristol another chance to rock Chris Wallace’s world: Feingold “is smarter than the Democratic congressional leadership” and “deserves credit for taking a principled stand, and I honestly think he’s winning this debate.” That sound you heard is Nancy Pelosi’s head exploding. Dick Cheney did “Face the Nation” but did not make much news beyond the world’s most awesome Freudian slip: “Most of my predecessors spent a good part of their time as President–Vice President running for President.

Also, debuting this week on ABCNews.com was “The Green Room,” a brave attempt to wring every possible bit of hot air from the “This Week” panel while they stand around uncomfortably after the show wraps in the nondescript, motel-ish decor of ABC’s DeSale St. digs. Personally, I have always found pre-show green room chatter more interesting (everyone’s trying out their lines) and the whole thing strikes me as an empty attempt to show us another side of people who are basically one-dimensional, but I applaud this Taylorite approach to news content and hope that less practiced pundits do something stupid and/or inspired backstage in the future.

Top topics: Iraq, Feingold’s censure motion and by extension the NSA wiretap program.

One-hit wonders: Boston College’s Sweet Sixteen chances (”Meet the Press”); Joey Cheek, humanitarian (”This Week”); Mark McClellan, TREKKIE (”Fox News Sunday”)

Quotes to live by:
• Dick Cheney admits that shooting someone in the face is “one of those situations that’s difficult, that generates controversy.”
• Chris Wallace, SUPER GENIUS: “It seems to me that the Senators who are most critical of [the NSA wiretapping] program are the ones who know the least about it.”
• George Will lays it out: “We need to define victory down.”
• Sam Donaldson is totally high: “Russ Feingold threw the long ball… but it might connect, as the Washington Redskins learned in the mid-70s.”

Also, Shorter Chris Matthews Show: David Gregory observed that “George Bush is the George Clooney of Washington… but that’s a little bit of a patina.” Wha?

Full rundown appears after the jump.

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UPDATE: SESSIONS WINS FIRST-TO-EXPLOIT SEN INOUYE’S WIFE’S DEATH FOR SILLY POLITICAL POINT AWARD! PRONOUNCES “FEINGOLD” SAME WAY HE PROBABLY PRONOUNCES “FAYGO.” MORE »

Never let it be said that the government cares more about rich people than the rest of us:

DURBIN: I sent a letter to the attorney general yesterday, applauding the fact that the Justice Department had, in fact, successfully prosecuted in Massachusetts a person who had hacked in and stolen the telephone records of Paris Hilton, and I ask the Attorney General to please ask our Special Counsel in this case to take a look at the precedent of the Paris Hilton case and see if he can perhaps protect our records as much as we want to protect that poor young lady’s telephone records.

RELATED: Paris Hilton Hacker Sentenced [PC World] MORE »