• Jonah Goldberg, the fellow who harnessed the powers of alchemy to transmutate his vomit into a New York Times best-seller, is — surprise surprise — a flaming Trekkie. [The Corner]
• Nazi sympathizer Barack Obama wants to visit Dresden, the capital of East Germany. Fine. But he better not say anything about that time we melted Dresden with giant fireballs from the sky, because we’re not sorry and we’d, like, totally do it again. [Power Line]
• Some lady on the Internet has concluded, “Aspirations for a career, independence, and individuality are in competition with a female’s deep and permanent biological makeup.” The National Organization for Women now will present Congress with a revised Equal Rights Amendment protecting every young wife’s biological right to a Valium prescription. [Right Wing News]
• A certain Burger King in Tennessee knows a thing or two about Global Warming: namely that it is a sack of crap conjured up by the Elders of Zion. [AMERICAblog]
• Speaking at the National Press Club, Bullshitter Dick Cheney opened with an aggressive 9/11 Gambit, at which point black should have played the Logic Defense. Acutely aware of his tactically superior position, Cheney was able to move his pawn up to the eighth rank, where he exchanged it for “THE IRAQ WAR SAVED LIVES.” Checkmate. 1-0. [Think Progress]

Oh Jesus, Meghan McCain’s goin’ nuts, again, on Twitter. MORE »

Whoa hey, Dick Cheney, father to a known lesbian, supports gay marriage. What a homo! “People ought to get a shot at that,” he says, adding that it ought to be a state-by-state decision, however. Not seeing much about this on RedState or the Corner! Will Rush Limbaugh now EAT this latest liberal, Dick Cheney? [The Swamp]

• After abdicating, benign boner George W. Bush spent his days quietly playing Guitar Hero and landing juice box endorsements. But Jesus had different plans for Archdick Cheney. [Off The Grid]
• Amber Alert! Thousands of peeling, morbidly obese millionaires have been abducted in Maryland. Consult with your milk carton, leave no yacht barnacle or dead hooker unturned! Oh God please return them safe and untaxed! MY BABIES! [RedState]
• As a practical joke, Daniel Ellsberg leaked Michelle Malkin 50,000 illegible emails detailing how, with a little help from ACORN, every character from Disney’s Aladdin — even Jafar — voted for Barack Obama. [Michelle Malkin]
• Senator John Cornyn (R-TX) — also known as “Big Bad John” or simply “gimp” — has once again gone off and done something really really gay! [AMERICAblog]

Former Wonkette warring companion and current nut Erick Erickson of RedState has written a delightful post entitled, “The Peter Principle.” Surely you all went to Sunday School — FYI, if we discover any non-Christians reading Wonkette, we will decapitate & eat them — and know about ol’ Peter, the Rock of Jesus. Erickson writes, “Peter, under pressure and fear, denied Christ not just once, but three times. Peter, though, feared death. The strain on Peter was great. The rest of us, though, typically fear the opinions of others.” And the rest of us, the modern-day Peters, Erickson suggests, are behaving the same way w/r/t three (3) modern-day Jesuses: Mark Levin, Rush Limbaugh, and Dick Cheney. MORE »

The so-called media elites in this godforsaken country got it all wrong yesterday, playing up that “Beltway Rumble” between Barack Obama and Dick Cheney. They should’ve been paying attention to the day’s most important speech from OH WE DON’T KNOW maybe the current President of the United States, George Bush Junior? He’s alive! And while his former intern Dick Cheney was cackling about death and carnage and sadism in Washington, Bush was cold talkin’ dog shit with a bunch of high school kids in the alien concentration camp of Roswell, New Mexico. MORE »

Good christ but this guy is a terrifying shit-monster — a leering death clown who is supposed to go away, but cannot, because he is the world’s biggest asshole. Thanks, Dick Cheney, for reminding us how to hate again. Here are the main lies from his foul hymn to Satan today. [Talking Points Memo]

We have scanned the YouTubes for the snarliest of snarly Dick Cheney quotes this morning, because THAT’S ALL THERE IS TO COVER TODAY, ugh, and decided this part was better than the ones in which he insults the New York Times and the United States Senate and the “left-wing of the president’s party” and whatever else. Cheney argues that these LEGAL DEBATES are making America look like fags to the Terrorists, so we need to stop it with the “distractions,” which do not include mean old Dick Cheney going on the teevee every day, bitching about how Obama won’t release certain documents he needs to spice up his memoirs. [YouTube]

• K-LO REACTION TO MSNBC REACTION TO CHENEY/OBAMA DONNYBROOK: “Something had to shatter a the set somewhere there just now.” [Instaputz]

• NOT A BAD MOVE ACTUALLY: Former President George W. Bush missed both Obama and Cheney’s speeches today, because he was traveling to, let’s see, New Mexico, “where he is the keynote speaker Thursday night at a fund raising dinner for a scholarship program for students at Artesia High School.” [Political Ticker]

Everyone’s talking about Dick Cheney this, Dick Cheney that… well we have a foto, from operative “Norbert,” of the former Vice President giving what eyewitnesses are calling “a speech in Brampton, Canada” this morning. Just pathetic what this man has become.