Tag: dick cheney

Something, Something Desssstiny

Liz Cheney Seriously Considering Another Losing Shot At National Office

Now here's a bit of news to brighten up your day: Fox News hawking head, torture enthusiast, and apprentice Sith Lord Liz Cheney is "taking a serious look" at running for Wyoming's sole House seat, following current Rep. Cynthia...
Just wake me up when the planet's destroyed.

Barack Obama Won’t Say Magic Words ‘Radical Islamic Terror,’ Must Resign

The post-massacre consensus is in: Paris would be safe today if Barack Obama had the balls to say the magic words "Radical Islamic Terrorism." Or maybe it's that we can't actually win until he says them. Or until we...

Look How Obama Ruined The GOP Primaries With All These New Jobs

Well, ferret nuts. Guess the GOP is going to have to figure out another reason to claim President Obama is the worst President Obama who ever presidented like a common Obama. After years of calling Obamacare a "job-killer" and promising that if...
Him?

Daddy Bush Says It’s Dick’s Fault Dubya Was A Idiot

Damn it, Poppy, you were a lot more likable when you were flashing your fabulous stripey socks and doing gay-lesbian weddings and jumping out of planes for your 117th birthday. Why, we could almost forget that you were the one...
Elijah Cummings takes us to CHURCH!

Rep. Elijah Cummings: America Is ‘A Better Country’ Than This Benghazi Hearing BS

Remember Benghazi Day? Of course you do, it was only a day ago. A long, long, 11-hour day of Republicans making it Baccarat crystal clear that the whole point of the seventh congressional investigation into how Hillary Clinton did...

RINO Kevin McCarthy Drops Out Of Speaker’s Race To Spend More Time Not Being Speaker

So ... remember how we told you that Conventional Wisdom had already elected House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy to fill John Boehner's falling-down-drunk speaker shoes, once he gets the hell out of dodge at the end of this month?...

Jeb! Losing So Hard, He’d Like To Now Remind You He IS A Bush

Jeb! Bush has been losing this presidential election since before he'd even announced he was in it. And it's only grown worse since then. At first, he figured the S-M-R-T move was pretending his last name was Not Bush,...
To be fair, he looks pretty safe there

Never Forget (Except For The Stuff They Wish We’d Forget, Go Ahead And Forget That Stuff)

What is it we're supposed to never forget again? George W. Bush, August 6, 2001: Bush listened to the briefing , Suskind says, then told the CIA briefer: “All right. You’ve covered your ass, now.” George W. Bush, March 13, 2002: just...
At the McClean (Virginia) of Madness

Dick Cheney Is Bombing Iran Right Now, In His ‘Heart’

In an alternate universe that, thank the maker, exists only in the fevered imagination of Dark Lord Dick, wherein a majority of Americans democratically elected Cheney (or his sockpuppet George, whatever), we are preparing to shock-n-awe Iran right ......
We sure showed 'em

Aw, Man, Does This Mean We Don’t Get To Do War To Iran?

Bad news for bloodlusters who've been wanting, for years, to Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran. Despite all of the warnings from the very same stupid dicks who were completely wrong about Iraq's weapons of mass destruction that turned out to just be...

Liz Cheney Knows Real U.S. American Patriots Love Old Dick

If you loved last year's op-ed in the Wall Street Journal, by Dick Cheney and his evil spawn Liz, about why OBAMA SUX, you'll be quite aroused in your privates to know that they have written a whole entire book about why...
This one was pretty much mandatory

Jeb! Bush Remembers That One Time His Brother Won The Iraq War

Jeb! Bush would just like you all to know what a terrific job his brother George did in Iraq. No really, you may have thought it was a quagmire with thousands of dead Americans and hundreds of thousands of...
The least evil Cheney

Dick’s Gay Daughter Mary Cheney Tells Gay-Hating GOP To Stop Being Dicks

Mary Cheney, spawn o' Dick, is the one Cheney we kind of sort of do not fully despise. She's The Gay One, and not even the self-hating kind. (Still a Republican, though, with otherwise terrible Republican values.) And while...
We are so good at lies!

BREAKING: Bush And Cheney MAY HAVE Said Some Lies In Lead-Up To Iraq War

Everybody with two brain cells to rub together at least SUSPECTS that there was some fishy business in the run-up to the war on Iraq, what with the fact Saddam had not attacked us, no WMDs were ever found,...

CIA Learned Hottest Torture Tricks From American Psychological Association

From the shores of the Pacific to the Singing Statesmen of DC, the "War On Terror" really brought out the best in us, didn’t it? Now we can add the American Psychological Association (APA) to the list of willingly...
Pure gender-neutral evil

Judith Miller Knows Who To Blame For Her Crap Iraq War Reporting (Hint: Not Judith Miller)

Judith Miller, disgraced former propagandist for the Bush administration (and also former reporter for the New York Times) -- now a Fox News contributor, OF COURSE -- is still defending herself and the blood on her hands, with a new...