WASHINGTON, DC, 01:49 PM, TUE NOVEMBER 24 | Advertise on Wonkette | tips@wonkette.com | SUBMIT A TIP | RSS

Posts Tagged ‘diaperman’

SEX CRIMINALS

Diaperman David Vitter So Excited About Wingnuts Yelling At Him At Town Halls, He Pooped His Diaper!

Wednesday, August 12th, 2009

David Vitter, America's Diaperman.Disgusting wingnut diaper-fetishist hooker-user David Vitter says he is super excited about wingnuts yelling at him, at one of these Town Hall KKK Rallies. He’s even bringing extra diapers, because he’s already planning on jacking off and pooping in a series of diapers, while old people who really need diapers yell about how they will officially renounce Medicare and die, like patriots, at the Superdome. MORE »


REPUBLICANS IN THE NEWS

Diaperman David Vitter Escapes Air-Terror Charges

Wednesday, March 25th, 2009

Is David Vitter’s dad the Pope? Does he know about the Aliens and Area 51? What explains this foul whore-soiling scumbag’s ability to evade justice? Not only did he get caught whoring via the since-suicided DC Madam’s phone records, but he was infamous in New Orleans for demanding his hookers dress him in an adult diaper, so he could do his special business. And, earlier this month, Vitter caused an airport-terrorism incident at Dulles when he, an idiot, missed his flight. The TSA says it won’t send Vitter to Gitmo because he’s a senator. Jesus. [Talking Points Memo]


CHRONICLES OF PRE-ADOLESCENT BEHAVIOR

Diaperman Throws A Tantrum

Wednesday, March 11th, 2009

Bwah bwah bwahHooker-using diaper fetishist Senator David Vitter freaked out at Dulles airport after he missed his flight back to New Orleans. He arrived at his gate to discover that doors had closed and he could not board his flight. A normal person would say, “Oh well, can you try to get me on the next flight then?” but Senator Vitter yelled about how he was a senator and therefore endowed with special powers of douchebaggery. Then he opened the security door, which set off an alarm, and the airline employee he’d been chewing out was all Hey man that is really not cool, and David Vitter ran off like a pussy while the employee looked for a security guard. What an awful human. [Raw Story]


YOUR PORNOGRAPHY

Monday, February 9th, 2009

Porn? On the INTERNET?!HERE IS THE PORNO-GAL SENATE CAMPAIGN STORY WE POSTED A WEEK AGO: What, did CNN run this today or something? Anyway, porno gal Stormy Daniels vs. David Diaperman Vitter, maybe. Exciting! [It Is Here]


EH SURE WE'LL POST THIS

Will Sexy Stripper Defeat David ‘Diaperman’ Vitter?

Monday, February 2nd, 2009

These fucking people ...Are you ready for the 2010 midterm election? No? Well too bad, because the campaign began on Nov. 5 of last year, and by the end of this summer you’ll probably hear about nothing else, so let’s start the Wonkette coverage with a nice story about this porn-star/stripper lady in Louisiana, and how she will maybe run against national embarrassment David Vitter, the hooker-lovin’ diaperman of the Senate. MORE »


FAMILY VALUES

Toilet Queen Larry Craig and Hooker-Using Diaperman David Vitter Sponsor Traditional Marriage Bill

Tuesday, July 1st, 2008

Super Tuber!Republican Senator Larry Craig can’t walk past a public restroom without rushing in and offering to suck everybody’s cock. Republican Senator David Vitter spends all his time and money fucking hookers while shitting in his Depends. Imagine what these creeps might do if homosexual couples got married! MORE »


WASHINGTON

Read ‘D.C. Madam’ Deborah Jeane Palfrey’s Suicide Note

Monday, May 5th, 2008

Making a sadder story just a little bit sadder still, today the cops have revealed D.C. Madam Deborah Jeane Palfrey’s suicide note. Instead of blowing the lid of Dick Cheney’s particular perversions or David Vitter’s favorite style of Depends (logo of Elmo in wheelchair, masturbating), the two-page note is a heartbreakingly dull list of trivialities in grade-school girlish handwriting. MORE »


SENATE

Senate Burns, Bush Issues Emergency Decree

Wednesday, October 3rd, 2007

A series of “suspicious fires” in the Dirksen and Hart Senate buildings has everybody all freaked out, because we all know what happens after the arson in the lawmakers’ headquarters.

A total of four garbage-can fires were set (and extinguished) between 10:45 a.m. and 2 p.m. today, Capitol police said. MORE »


REPUBLICANS

Monday, September 24th, 2007

Dingbat diaperman David Vitter caught earmarking a hundred grand for creationist nuts. [NOLA]


REPUBLICANS

Tuesday, September 11th, 2007

Suck a tailpipe, David - WonketteOne of Diaperman David Vitter’s other hookers, in New Orleans — but not the Diaper Gal, apparently — took a lie detector test administered by the President of Lie Detectors and the test proves she had “safe sex” with David Vitter, all the time, in New Orleans, and her pimp was named “Jonathan.” [Times-Picayune]


REPUBLICANS

Larry Craig’s Mixed-Up Muddled-Up Shook-Up Sex Scandal

Wednesday, August 29th, 2007

so gay ... - WonketteWacky toilet cruiser (and GOP Senator) Larry Craig is running his sex scandal in such a backasswards way that leading Republican strategists are dumbfounded. Larry’s freakish strategy consists of pleading guilty to trying to fuck a cop in a Minneapolis public bathroom stall and then, weeks later, telling teevee cameras in Idaho that it’s all the fault of the local newspaper, which hadn’t yet run an article about him being a toilet cruiser, and then he says the plea was a “poor decision.” Too bad he doesn’t feel the same way about his well-known trawling of men’s rooms for cock! MORE »