• Bolton’s still waiting - for a train back to DC, cause his confirmation is dead. [The Coffee House]

• DHS is pursuing criminal charges against a journalist who filmed a “national security site owned by Exxon,” in the wake of Katrina. Spike Lee ponders real estate in Switzerland. [Greg Palast]
• The worst hair on the hill, indexed by species. [Radar Magazine]
• The DEA can’t even seize a bag without the stems and the sticks. [TalkLeft]
• Bill O’Reilly wants to help you through your identity crisis, bowel movements. [Rude Pundit]
• Cindy Sheehan dreams of going Terminator on Bush in his little crib, but she’s clearly not thinking big picture. [DCeiver]
• Sandy Berger is going after ABC to keep a lid on the fact that he couldn’t kill Bin Laden because he was too busy blowing lines off Madeline Albright’s tits. [IMAO]

• Al Sharpton’s descent into madness reaches new milestone with incorporation of the “Space Jam” theme song into Connecticut rally speech. [Hartford Courant]

• Dilbert creator longs to be a cog in the machine. [Dilbert Blog]
• A convenient truth: global warming is producing new premium beers. [BBC]
• Intern humiliates DHS by creating informative website in two flip-flop-wearing months. [Boing Boing]
• If Smith Point advertised on television, this it what it would look like. [Logged Hours]
• Some days Tony Snow wishes he was still asking the questions, instead of not answering them. [Boozhy]
• National Conservative Student Conference peddling masturbatory fodder to “baby wingnuts.” [Pandagon]

• Israel is suspending raids on southern Lebanon for 48 hours in the wake of this weekend’s deadly bombing of Qana. Condoleezza Rice is cutting her diplomatic trip to the region short, having achieved a concession, and claiming that a cease-fire is just around the corner.. [WP, NYT, NYT, WP, AP]

• The Department of Homeland Security, attempting to make Bush appear strong on the immigration issue, is beefing up enforcement by serving more indictments of business owners who employ illegal immigrants. [NYT]
• House members skipped town for the rest of the summer, leaving a minimum wage hike and the fate of the estate tax hanging in the balance. [WP]
• “At campaign events,” Joe Lieberman “appears subdued and weary.” [WP]
• Karl Rove criticized the press this weekend. [AP]
• John “Maverick” McCain’s son Jimmy is headed to Iraq. The Senator is simply tortured about it. [Time]
• China refuses to take from us 40,000 illegal immigrants. [WSJ]

• Sweet old lady hates Bush so much she works a room of children into a murderous rage. Grandma’s Militia now on terrorist watch list.
  [The Australian] MORE »

• Ever wonder what passive-aggressive uptight agriculture administrators do when they boil over? Now you know.

• Katherine Harris’s senate campaign reminds us of a kitchy 60’s feminist empowerment fantasy but we’re not sure which one. Oh well, there’s not many better ways to spend a weekend then smoking a joint and watching them all.
• When times are desperate, and you just have to meet Tim Russert, you might want to try showing up on Nebraska Ave. Sunday morning - you know what time - with a nice floral arrangement and a card addressed to, “the most interesting and important man on television.” We’re not sayin’, we’re just sayin’.
• As the Vanity Fair cover fades from memory, Joe Wilson and Valerie Plame decide it’s time to get theirs, hold press conference to let us know. Dick Cheney is shaking in his Allen Edmonds.
• Thanks to Arlen Specter using his “serious face” in negotiations with the White House, a secret court is now allowed to put it’s quarter in the slot and get a 30 second peek at the steamy domestic spying program.
• Is this heaven Osama? No. It’s Indiana, the place where terrorists’ dreams come true.
• We love going Bananas for the semi-monthly “Castro’s dead” rumors.
• The National Press Club makes an honest reporter out of the new and improved Jeff Gannon.
• Wonk’d, Washington’s celebrity sighting column of record, is entered as “Exhibit-W” in the trial for infamous Duke “laxer” Collin Finnerty.

Logo courtesy CBS and the AP, and we’re only crediting them out of the hope that they’ll feel a little embarrassment. MORE »

Ken Silverstein, over at Harper’s, has two pieces that, while complex, provide just that note of salaciousness necessary to keep the public (read: our) interest in the ongoing Cunningham/Wilkes/Lewis and William Jefferson cases. Join the exclusive poker party, after the jump.

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What to do when your FOIA request turns up boring documents? Seize on that most satisfying of criticisms, the typo. As Raw Story has done, delightfully, with Michael Brown’s application to work for FEMA. Below, a sample of Brown’s application (helpful proofreading marks provided by us at no additional cost):

And, hilariously, they did it again on the next page. Simple error? More likely: FEMA’s subconscious demonstration of resentment at losing its independence to a de[a]partment that, while a completely useless and nightmarish bureaucratic cesspool of money, you’d hope has a few secretaries on staff who can proofread these things. MORE »

* Short week, short review. First thing you need to know is: on Friday, Wal-Mart tried to answer the questions, “Why you acting shady? Why you ain’t callin’ me baby?”, by having Beyonce and Taylor Hicks perform at their shareholder meeting. CostCo admits they were served. MORE »

From HRC’s Senate reelection page:

Hill, you work in DC. Like two blocks away from Chertoff! You could just tell him personally. MORE »

As one of you aptly noted, “DHS is serious about this ‘internet’ thing.” Here’s a little more on why Homeland Security cut New York’s antiterrorism funding: MORE »