Wonkette

Little weirdo and amateur devil exorcist Bobby Jindal will NOT be John McCain’s losing vice-presidential candidate, the scrawny character announced today after the terrible HURRICANE destroyed the last hopes of McCain’s campaign. “I’m not going to be the vice presidential nominee or vice president,” Jindal said at a news conference to announce the cancellation of other news conferences. “I’m going to help Senator McCain get elected, as governor of Louisiana. Let me be clear: I have said in every private and public conversation, I’ve got the job that I want.” Back to you, Mitt. [CNN Political Ticker]

OKLAHOMA DEVIL-HOMOSEXUAL COMIC GUY ON CNN: Hilarious accused felon & Oklahoma county commissioner Brett Rinehart tells the teevee news, “I’m not even sure as to what ‘homophobic’ means, but let’s just keep in mind that we are in a cultural war.” [CNN/Raw Story]

When young corporate Republican Bobby Jindal was sworn in as Louisiana’s governor five months ago, the national press noted that he was the child of Punjabi Indians who had just moved to America, and that he was young for a governor (36). All very interesting, blah blah, but did you know he’s a wacky Extremist Catholic (like Mel Gibson!) who performs exorcisms on people to rid them of The Demons From Hell? MORE »

All presidents and all presidential family members worship Satan, so it’s no surprise that Drudge currently has this lovely photo of Hillary Clinton making the “Hook ‘em Horns” heavy metal hand gesture that proves allegiance to the God of Politics, Satan. Let’s look at all the presidents praising their Satanic Majesty, after the jump. MORE »

Lobbyist-lover John McCain has a lot of problems, including being 712 years old and completely hated by his party, the Republicans. Another problem he has is with the “social conservatives” — you know, the sort of people he never has to deal with because he’s a rich elitist Washington liberal with a cougar gazillionaire wife and any number of adopted liberal babies. So what does he tell the religious white voters down in Georgia on Friday? He calls his hometown of D.C. the “City of Satan,” that’s what. McCain has lived and worked in Washington for three decades. [NBC 4]

See, it was Reuters who said Hillary is the devil. [Drudge Report]

Did you know the whole Iran-White House thing is a big scam because both Bush and Ahmadinejad answer to the same boss, Satan? Well it could be true, as proven by this Conspiracy Planet photo comparison showing both unloved presidents doing the HAIL SATAN gesture. We’ve often posted pictures of Bush Junior worshiping his father in hell, but this is the first time we’ve seen Iranian McBeardy guy rocking the Heavy Metal Hands — and check him out, all double-barreled and whatnot. MORE »

Once again, George W. Bush has been photographed making the devil sign — or, as Satan’s Apologists usually say, the “Hook ‘Em Horns.” It was at the White House 9/11 ceremony yesterday. Just for fun, try “accidentally” getting your hands in that position. It’s all but impossible, unless you’ve got some kind of degenerative nerve condition. MORE »

Venezuelan oil giant Citgo has paid between $100,000 and $200,000 to Rudy Giuliani’s law firm so the opera-loving Manhattan dandy can plot against America’s freedoms. MORE »

As we do every January 15, today we solemnly commemorate the completion of the world’s most awful structure, The Pentagon.

It was on this day in Nineteen Hundred and Forty Three that the Masonic Magickal Monument was finished. Learn all about the very first demonic office building, after the jump.

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