Tag Archives: deval patrick

 

Massachusetts Passes Law Against Upskirt Creepshots In Just Two Days. What If It Were Run By The House GOP?

Well that escalated quickly. On Wednesday, the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court ruled that creepers couldn’t be prosecuted for taking creepy upskirt photos, because of the way the existing Peeping Tom law was written. And then the state legislature got to it, passed a new law, and Gov. Deval Patrick signed it this Friday morning. Our US Congress could never get its act together so quick, right? Wrong! Sure they could! Just not on something like “protecting women,” obviously — that’s a job for strong, heterosexual husbands and fathers and Jesuses with guns. But it’s not hard to imagine Congress acting expeditiously on other pressing issues. OK, it is actually kinda hard, but we did it anyway. Read more on Massachusetts Passes Law Against Upskirt Creepshots In Just Two Days. What If It Were Run By The House GOP?…
  needz moar meryl streep

RNC To NBC: That Hillary Clinton Movie Is Not Threatening To Us At All, Please Cancel It

Reince Priebus is deeply disappointed! He’s also concerned and disturbed! Is it because the GOP’s best chance at winning the presidency in 2016 is Hillary’s plane crashing into Biden’s train, then upon hearing the news Andrew Cuomo, Deval Patrick, Martin O’Malley, and Elizabeth Warren all choke on their organic free range tofurken and quinoa tenderloin? No! Actually, yes probably, but it’s also because of what NBC wants to put on the teevee: A docu-dramatic miniseries about Hillary Clinton, because apparently that constitutes an “event,” according to NBC chairman Robert Greenblatt. Where were you when you heard about the Hillary Clinton miniseries? Try to remember, you’ll want to tell your grandkids about it someday, so they can know about history. Speaking of history, when will Reince Priebus get Michael Steele’d for being terrible at his job and writing mewling, self-parodying letters, and we can forget how to spell his damn name? Read more on RNC To NBC: That Hillary Clinton Movie Is Not Threatening To Us At All, Please Cancel It…
  waiter could we get a bag of dicks for this fine fellow?

Hey, Has Anybody Else Been As Stupid As This Guy Yet?

The unseen fellow asking Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick whether the Boston Massacre was a “false flag” operation so TSA agents can “put their hands down [his] pants” is apparently Dan Bidondi, a “correspondent” for Alex Jones’s Infowars. Bully for them! Great job, fucking idiots! Because obviously the government did Boston so they can snatch everyone’s pipe bombs, which, of course, you can pry from Alex Jones’s cold dead hands. Read more on Hey, Has Anybody Else Been As Stupid As This Guy Yet?…
  the fresh new face that everyone's talking about

Sen. Mo Cowan Becomes Most Prestigious Temp In Massachusetts

Hey, Barney Frank! We know you rilly wanted to be appointed to the Senate seat being vacated by John Kerry’s being appointed Secretary of State, and you’re kind of bummed that you didn’t get it, so we have a joke to cheer you up! Knock-Knock! For Christ’s sake, what is this, are you enfeebled? Naw, c’mon, Congressman, we love ya, play along! Knock! Knock! Oh, all right…Who’s there? The Interrupting Cowan! The Interrupting Co… MO!!!! Which is to say, we know fuck-all about newly appointed Sen. William “Mo” Cowan, so we will cut and paste some stuff from the Boston Globe story about him, like he was previously Massachusetts Gov. Deval Patrick’s former chief of staff, he will be a genuine caretaker senator, because he is not planning to run for the seat in the upcoming June 25 special election, and he is 43 years old (but looks like he just graduated or something. We didn’t look that good at 43). Also, after just three weeks, Elizabeth Warren is suddenly the state’s senior senator, which should be good for a bar bet somewhere. Read more on Sen. Mo Cowan Becomes Most Prestigious Temp In Massachusetts…
  don't go away mad just go away

Harry Reid Now Just Being Mean To Scott Brown For Fun

We’ll say this for Mitt Romney: He sure sets a low bar for the behavior of supposedly moderate Massachusetts Republicans! For instance, after Mitt spent a conference call with his big donors whining about how Barack Obama won the election by championing policies that will benefit Americans, Scott Brown’s post-loss press conference, where he (no doubt sullenly) mouthed platitudes about “bipartisanship,” looked positively statesmanlike. But that didn’t stop Harry Reid from just cold talking smack to reporters about what a dick Scott Brown was. Will Harry Reid regret this, when Scott Brown is inevitably re-elected to the Senate, in a month or two? Read more on Harry Reid Now Just Being Mean To Scott Brown For Fun…
  the banality of crazy

Deval Patrick Shouts At Opponent To Take Down Photo of Nice Lady With Obama-Hitler T-Shirt

It turns out that you people still eat photos of things that compare Obama to Hitler up, so Massachusetts Gov. Deval Patrick, in an epic quest for his own pageviewz, has noted that his opponent Charles D. Baker had one of these photos on his Flickr. “HITLER gave good speeches and had his own symbol too,” the dumb t-shirt on this lady says, unoriginally. The photo was one of 1,200 on this guy’s Flickr account, and everyone knows Flickr accounts are the most important test of a candidate’s fitness for office, so Baker took the photo down. Read more on Deval Patrick Shouts At Opponent To Take Down Photo of Nice Lady With Obama-Hitler T-Shirt…
  hello new person

This Dude Is The New Ted Kennedy

Ha ha, Michael Dukakis loses again. This bro, former DNC chair Paul Kirk, was more or less picked by the Kennedy family. “Deval, darling, appoint this human, we used to summer together,” Vicki Kennedy urged the Governor of Massachusetts. But it was probably a good pick, because Kirk is familiar with Ted Kennedy’s staff and might actually have some sense of what the hell he’s doing. Oh golly. Check out John Kerry in the video! What a SEVERE couple these two will make, in the Senate. [NYT, YouTube] Read more on This Dude Is The New Ted Kennedy…
  totally thought they would wimp out

MASS. SENATE PASSES ‘TED KENNEDY MEMORIAL PARTISAN WARM-BODY ACT,’ HOORAY! Oh good, now Gov. Deval Patrick should be able to sign this quick fixeroo tomorrow and Michael Dukakis or whoever can putz around Washington for a few months, casting a crucial vote or two occasionally. Also, pundits can stop saying, “But the Democrats only have 59 seats, they need Olympia Snowe!!!” because it is not true anymore. No one needs Olympia Snowe! NO ONE! [Boston Globe] Read more on …
  start the smear campaign!

Michael Dukakis Is ‘Frontrunner’ For Fake Ted Kennedy Seat

Former Massachusetts Gov. Michael Dukakis, who one time — for fun — let a black inmate run free so as to rape the white ladies, could be the next fake Ted Kennedy, for a few months! He is “the name most prominently mentioned” appointee for Gov. Deval Patrick, who awaits a bill allowing him to do this, which is being debated in the House today. This is big news, because most people had just assumed Michael Dukakis was dead. [Washington Post] Read more on Michael Dukakis Is ‘Frontrunner’ For Fake Ted Kennedy Seat…
  don't ask questions!

Massachusetts Legislature Hurrying To Throw Random Warm Body In Kennedy’s Seat

Ted Kennedy might have a mean old liberal Democrat replacement in the Senate soon! All the Massachusetts legislature must do is change the comical law that Ted Kennedy forced it to enact in 2004, the one that prevented Gov. Mitt Romney from appointing a Republican to President John Kerry’s Senate seat. The legislature has moved up a hearing from October to early September on a bill that would allow Gov. Deval Patrick to appoint a temporary replacement to Kennedy’s seat, immediately. Patrick will be looking for a replacement with such qualifications as the ability to press the “yea” button on a health care reform bill, and nothing else. Would it be hypocritical of the Massachusetts state government to amend this law right now? Yes. Good GOD, yes! But who cares? [Salon/War Room] Read more on Massachusetts Legislature Hurrying To Throw Random Warm Body In Kennedy’s Seat…
  boston politics

Mass. Lawmakers Now Rethinking Whole ‘Leave Kennedy’s Seat Vacant For Five Months’ Thing

Now that the question of what to do about Ted Kennedy’s Senate seat is no longer an academic one, folks in Boston seem to be giving the issue a little re-think. Remember Kennedy wrote to the governor recently asking him if he couldn’t perhaps do something about that terrible law Democrats passed in 2004, the one that called for a special election in the event of a Senate vacancy FIVE MONTHS after the seat first opened? That got everybody so steamed … Read more on Mass. Lawmakers Now Rethinking Whole ‘Leave Kennedy’s Seat Vacant For Five Months’ Thing…
 

Barack Obama Cheats Yet Again

You catch him once, he gets suspended for a semester, then goes on academic probation, and then he plagiarizes horribly again. Will Barack Obama ever learn that Massachusetts Gov. Deval Patrick has copyrights on every word? Apparently not, since he may have stolen yet another whole two sentences from Patrick. Read more on Barack Obama Cheats Yet Again…
 

Hillary Plagiarizes ‘Black’ Politician, Too!

Do you still remember the “Presidents Day Plagiarism Outrage” of 2008? Well now there’s another one — and this time, instead of fancy word-user Barack Obama being blamed for repeating such phrases as “I have a dream” and “The Declaration of Independence,” which were earlier spoken by a different black politician, it’s Hillary Clinton who got caught biting rhymes from yet another “black” politician: ex-president and “first black president” Bill Clinton! Read more on Hillary Plagiarizes ‘Black’ Politician, Too!…
 

FDR, MLK & Thomas Jefferson Furious Over Obama’s Plagiarism

Hey, Barack Obama, we have rules in this country. Rules like, You cannot go around quoting the “I Have A Dream” speech, or the Declaration of Independence, or that weird/wrong thing FDR used to say (“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself”) to try to soothe the desperately poor and angry people who were this close to “seizing the means of production.” And that’s why Hillary’s campaign is sending everybody these shocking YouTubes proving that another black person has also trotted out a couple of patriotic chestnuts as proof that campaign speeches really do change the world. Read more on FDR, MLK & Thomas Jefferson Furious Over Obama’s Plagiarism…