Tag: detroit

Sawed-off shotguns: They're in the Constitution!

Here’s How The Second Amendment Has Prevented Tyranny Lately

While we know guns had nothing to do with the tragedy today that took the lives of Virginia TV station WDBJ reporter Alison Parker and cameraman Adam Ward, in addition to the suicide of the shooter, a disgruntled former...
Like Gamera, Baphomet is the friend of children everywhere

Bryan Fischer To Save America From Satan Statues With Special Jesus Constitution

The merry Establishment Clause tricksters of the Satanic Temple held a big unveiling of their 1-ton statue of Baphomet over the weekend. Because they're still waiting on a permit to place it next to the Ten Commandments monument at...
You see what happens when you feed a stoner scrambled eggs?!

Butt Ass Nekkid Michigan State Senator Shoots Up Ex-Wife’s Car, May Have Issues

A confrontation between a naked Michigan state senator and his ex-wife in the wee hours of Sunday morning made for competing narratives and movie references this weekend. Did Virgil Smith attack his former spouse after an argument when she...
Funny, not one working microphone, either.

Michigan Cops Had Perfectly Good Reason For Beating Up Unarmed Black Guy, Probably

Surprising news from Michigan: On Jan. 28, police in the Detroit suburb of Inkster were caught on dashcam dragging an African American man from his car, putting him in a chokehold, then repeatedly beating and tasering him because, they...
He's no rocket scientist

Ben Carson Is A Brain Surgeon, So He Knows A Psychopath (Obama) When He Sees One (Obama)

So the big "get" in GQ's profile of Dr. Ben Carson is that, while watching Barack Obama's State of the Union address this year with his pal/adviser/consigliere/media handler Armstrong Williams, this happened: As the two men turned to the TV,...
Water Rites are another matter altogether

Detroit’s Spending $5.6 Million To Shut Off Residents’ Water. What Else Could They Spend That On?

So you're in Detroit, and you are poor. You probably forgot to pay your water bill for ... oh, let's say "forever" because of how you have no things like "money." (Kind of like how the city doesn't have...

Men’s Rights Activists Gather To Fight Misandry, Drink Some Brews, Bro Out

Too bad we haven’t yet made our big move to Detroit, because this International Conference on Men’s Issues that was held there this weekend sounds like a total hoot. Who wouldn’t have fun in a roomful of angry shut-ins...

Broke-Ass Michigan Throwing All Its Money At This Fun Anti-Abortion Grift

Big News for Prolife Budget Hawks: The Michigan state legislature, which can't afford anything anymore, did some Fiscal Responsibility the other day, appropriating $800,000 to "promote childbirth" and encourage pregnant ladies not to have no 'bortions. It won't include...

Deleted Comments Of The Day: Why All The Hatin’ On MRAs, Wonkette Dude?

We have nine million comments backed up in the queue, and they are just precious! We will make an effort to bring you as many of these "real characters" as we can in the next few installments of yr...

Grifty Wussy Men’s Rights Activists Dudes Need Your Money To Stop Ladies From Beating Them Up

You know, you'd think after one of their ilk murdered six people -- men AND ladies -- just a wee bit ago and was fueled by their signature disgusting froth of misogyny and self-loathing, the Men's Rights Activists people...

John Conyers Will Win Write-In Campaign With Your Stupid Ballot Tied Behind His Back

Having first been elected to the House of Representatives in 1964, one would think that Rep. John Conyers (D-MI) would have the whole “get enough signatures from constituents to make it onto the primary ballot” step down to a...

Awesome $175 Million Tax Break Creates 15 Awesome Jobs In Detroit!

So here's a nice bit of synchronicity: Last night, The Daily Show did a beautifully ragey takedown of Fox News's outrage at lazy welfare bums who get food stamps, while dismissing far more costly corporate tax breaks as just...

Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Waltz Through A Wonderland of Weird

Welcome to another Derp Roundup, where we take a wire brush to our browser tabs, douse 'em with brain bleach, and bring you the stories that were too stupid to ignore. We recommend a healthy portion of your favorite...

Michigan Republican Definitely Not Responsible For Saying We Should Fence Detroit, Round Up The Indians

Say you are a mean old Republican (but we repeat ourselves) who loves to say sparkling things about Detroit and how you will get carjacked there, and also funny quips about FEMA camping all the Indians and giving them...
Guess I should've known from the way he parked his car sideways...

Old Handsome Joe Biden Gets His Motor Running At Detroit Auto Show

Hey there, Old Handsome Joe Biden! How you liking the motorcars at the Detroit Auto Show? Too bad the Secret Service won't let you take a literal victory lap, but the metaphorical kind isn't bad, either: “What a difference five...

Peggy Noonan Does Not Care For Living In Red New York With Its Graceless Communist Leader

These were anxious days in the suite of rooms above Manhattan that Peggy Noonan called home. First there was the arctic blast of a snowstorm that swept into the city and shut down everything, the air so cold the...