detroit
Mitt Romney Delivers Big Speech About Nothing To Empty Stadium
Mitt Romney Plans To Win Michigan By Driving A Car
Ahhh, so THIS is Mittens’ plan to win the state he very much needs to win, Michigan: Driving around in a motorcar, through the “real streets” where he proudly lived before decamping to the mansions of Belmont, Massachusetts. “This is personal,” he says about winning Michigan. And did you know that Detroit was in great [...]
Mitt Romney Drives Around Detroit In Campaign Video, Says It’s Awful
Execution worshipper Mitt Romney has a strange new campaign video that features Mittens driving around very depressing neighborhoods in Detroit, lost maybe? No, it is Mitt Romney’s Tour of Ruined America, which is not Obama’s fault, says Mitt (ALWAYS BLAME OBAMA, MITT), but Obama isn’t fixing it, either. Blah blah, this explanation is taking too [...]
Muslim-Hating Wingnut (Not Palin) Shoots His Own Car For Some Reason
Rat-faced hillbilly “Pastor Terry Jones” still exists, for some reason. (Weren’t we supposed to drop him from a Predator onto a pile of rocks in Afghanistan, so that one of his stray limbs would kill a child or a nursing mother? Is this even America anymore?) So, this Terry Jones character is going around, spewing [...]
America Loves LOLRATS! (Because Americans Quit Having Babies)
Bad news, we guess: Americans have just quit having babies. Why? Oh, no reason at all, everything’s fine, la la la. The birth rate for the main procreating age range of wommens, 20-24, dropped by a shocking 9% in just two years (2007-2009). In the doomed American Southwest, the birth rate plunged by 10%. Overall, [...]
Heritage Foundation Guy: People Leaving Detroit Because It’s Liberal
The Heritage Foundation is a place for great thinkers, so it comes as no surprise that one of their geniuses has finally, from his little marble Koch cubicle in D.C., solved why Detroit is losing population: it’s full of liberals. Scary! One would think it would be easier for the people of Detroit to just [...]
Glenn Beck Plots Media Empire, Restores Honor
Glenn Beck’s contract with Fox News expires in December, and you know what that means: George Soros is a scheming Puppet Master and/or Jew. Wait, no! It means Glenn Beck’s teevee chalkboard lessons and Cash4Gold infomercials will probably be canceled, since only the cream of the crazy milk watches his show anymore. But people familiar [...]
Detroit Gets RoboCop
On a list of Detroit’s biggest problems, the lack of a statue honoring RoboCop would seem to rank rather low. For SOME people. For some. Yet in a city where some of the most prominent buildings have sat vacant for decades and booting a scandal-plagued mayor out of office took eight months, raising $50,000 to [...]
Lame Old White-Guy Terrorist Tries To Blow Up Mich. Mosque With Fireworks
Today In Rudeness: Meg Whitman Says Fresno Looks Like Detroit
When will Meg Whitman apologize for saying insensitive things about Fresno? Republican gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman on Tuesday told the San Jose Mercury News editorial board that “Fresno looks like Detroit. It’s awful.”
Mitt Romney’s Ghetto Home To Be Destroyed
The derelict city of Detroit is finally “getting serious” about razing thousands of boarded-up abandoned houses, and the worst ghetto crackhouse of all will soon be bulldozed: the childhood mansion of Mitt “Mittens” Romney. The Romneys and their servants once lived a life of Mormon Aristocracy in the five-bedroom two-story 5,500-square-foot estate in the once-grand [...]
Today In Tragicomic Third-World Anecdotes From Detroit
Kind of feel sorry for this guy, who seems nice and energetic and whatever, and is good at math, but still: the president of the Detroit school board may be functionally illiterate. No, really: it took him 10+ years to get his college degree because he kept failing an English proficiency exam, the requirement for [...]
The New Detroit: Southern California’s Inland Empire
California is the great basket case of this country’s financial collapse, with its 37 million people now suffering under a 12.5% unemployment rate. In eight of California’s counties, the jobless rate tops 20%, with one in five workers unable to find a job.
Fuck You, Nigerian Would-Be Plane Blower-Upper
The ’00s have been an absolute disaster, a foul decade that started with George W. Bush running for president, was defined by his administration’s moral/financial bankrupting of America in the name of 9/11, and ended with the last of his idiot constituency wearing olde-colonial pirate hats while making YouTube rants about the new president being [...]
blog advertising is good for you
