Good news, America! Our long half-century war with Cuban sensation Fidel Castro may finally be over, because he’s dead. Maybe. Our blogging comrade Perez Hilton (who is Cuban, and from Florida) is reporting exclusively that he heard a rumor that U.S. officials will soon announce Castro’s death. Another exclusive report is here, making it all the more exclusive. MORE »

Today, the world mourns as the proud leader of its bank, Paul Wolfowitz, forever leaves the institution he single-handedly reformed and revived.

Wolfowitz, beloved architect of America’s Eternal Victory in Iraq, tells the Financial Times that for his next disastrous job, he’s got a number of disadvantaged countries in his sights. If you live in any of these places, you might want to consider moving soon:

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