Get Your Psychotropic Drugs Free With Each Deportation!
Wednesday, May 14th, 2008
If you’ve ever wondered how to get your hands on some nice whale tranquilizers, wonder no longer: just emigrate to the U.S., get deported, say something inoffensive like, “I would prefer not to return to the Congo, because I am a journalist and they will kill me there,” and a representative from the Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency will happily inject you with massive doses of frightening antipsychotic drugs like Haldol. No diagnosed psychotic disorder? No problem! You are still entitled to a horrifying drug cocktail that will leave you immobilized and hallucinating for days while your swollen tongue returns to its normal size. [Washington Post]
If you’ve ever wondered how to get your hands on some nice whale tranquilizers, wonder no longer: just emigrate to the U.S., get deported, say something inoffensive like, “I would prefer not to return to the Congo, because I am a journalist and they will kill me there,” and a representative from the Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency will happily inject you with massive doses of frightening antipsychotic drugs like Haldol. No diagnosed psychotic disorder? No problem! You are still entitled to a horrifying drug cocktail that will leave you immobilized and hallucinating for days while your swollen tongue returns to its normal size. [Washington Post]
As if Americans didn’t have enough trouble with The Illegals coming up from Mexico to take all of our high-paying lettuce-picking jobs, there’s a new menace on the horizon. It comes from the lost pirate nation of Australia, which is sending a flood of lobbyists over our borders and depriving many hard-working Americans of the right to bribe Congress for a living.