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Tag: Department of Defense

Donald Trump To Hide Money In Cheeseburgers? Wonkagenda for Friday, December 9, 2016

Donald Trump's weird web of money, a walking heart attack for labor secretary, and Congress critters are giving Russia the stink eye. Your Daily News Brief!

The Humble Hannity? Your Wonkagenda, November 2, 2016

Donald Trump's pervy sex novel, Bernie Sanders burns big pharma, and a Texas A.G. learns all about Twitter. Your Morning News Brief!
Not actual off-base housing. YOU find a funny image for "military housing allowances"!

GOP Loves Troops So Much, Will Cut Troops’ Housing Allowances

Whoops, looks like 'The Troops' might be a bunch of 'The Takers,' at least according to the GOP!

Pentagon Officially Sick Of Your Benghazi Sh*t

By now, we all know what happened that fateful night in Benghazi. Hillary Clinton made FOUR DEAD AMERICANS while she ate bon bons and phone-lesbianed Huma Abedin, because she was home alone THE WHOLE NIGHT that night. She also...
Wanna discuss important Pentagon business?

Pentagon Workers Using YOUR Tax Dollars For Gamblin’ And F*ckin’

Would you be outraged to know that Pentagon employees (military AND civilian) have been using YOUR TAX DOLLARS GRRR for the services of cardsharks and common harlots? WELL THEY ARE (kinda sorta). GET MAD: A Defense Department audit has found that...
It is TOTALLY a conpisracy

Pentagon Says There’s No Plot To Invade Texas. But It Would, Wouldn’t It?

In a move that was as touchingly optimistic as it was futile, the Pentagon attempted to reassure nervous Texans that an upcoming training exercise is definitely not a secret plan to declare martial law, impose UN control over the...
Imagine that.

Surprise, Military Even More Rapey Than We Thought

As we've mentioned once or twenty times, the Pentagon has a bit of a problem with rape. Just how bad a problem with rape? Hard to say -- a 2013 Defense Department report estimated that about 26,000 members of the...
America: Kept Safe By Being The World's Policeman

In Pentagon’s Special Vietnam History, Everything Was Beautiful And Nothing Hurt

2015 is the 50th anniversary of the American deployment of ground troops to Vietnam -- oh, sure, there were "advisors" well before that, but March 8, 1965 was when we first sent in 3,500 Marines. And to mark the...
Some guy, who knows?

Obama Taps Some Nerd To Babysit Wars For Next Two Years

Ever since the White House told Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel to GTFO, pretty much every potential replacement for the job has been busy shouting "Not it!" Because really, what sane person would want the thankless job of overseeing our...
Sorry, Chuck, but someone's got to go

Obama Learns His Lesson From Election, Fires Only Republican In Room

It seems President Obama has learned at least one valuable lesson from the devastating mandate delivered by the minority of the American people who bothered voting on Election Day: can the Republican. The New York Times is reporting that Secretary...

What Is Old Man McCain Yelling At Clouds Today?

Oh, WALNUTS. You are yelling again. YES OR NO. YES OR NO. I ASKED YOU A DIRECT QUESTION. YES OR NO. You've got to stop it. It is not good for your chakras. But what does it remind us...

Senate Republicans To Swift Boat John Kerry All Over Again, For Larfs

So Hillary Clinton is going to leave the State Department some day, and on that day the Great Impostor is going to need to find someone to replace her. Who else has the kind of 24-hour energy, common sense,...

U.S. Army Rejecting 80% of Kids For Being Dumb Obese Criminals

A sad new study makes that whole "DREAM Act" defeat a little more tragic: More than 80% of Americans trying to join the Army can't meet the very low minimum requirements. The first 75% gets immediately disqualified "because they...

America’s Bedbug Infestation Requires Military Intervention

Bedbugs! They're destroying Freedom & Liberty even faster than Debbie Riddle and terror babies combined. In Ohio and several other states, the critters have become so unruly that local governments are calling on the feds -- including the Department...

Future Robot Mind-War Apocalypse

Just when you think the Department of Defense is too busy with actually physically bombing things to worry about nutty mind-control schemes or mosquito assassins, they come out with another freaky report that gives a dark and terrifying glimpse...