In Denver Tuesday night, some dude asked Barack Obama “Want a hit, man?” and then rushed to Instagram the exchange, showing Obama laughing like a drug-addled jazz criminal. It’s a sad day for America: You know that Mitt Romney would have instead asked the young miscreant to stop selling death sticks, whereupon the druggie would […]

Government bureacrats: the thin, gray-flannel-suit line between civilization and Somalia. The Environmental Protection Agency, for instance, keeps us from having exploding water, and poisoned water, and eyeless shrimp hahahaha lololol jk jk. But they want to. OR DO THEY? In his story — soon to become a classic of the genre — EPA Employees Told […]

Everyone is having a mighty fine laugh over that idiot Maureen Dowd, and how she had a bad trip on “the pot.” Oh ho ho, what an idiot, they are chortling, can’t even eat a delicious marijuana candy bar without curling into a ball and weeping for eight hours. It certainly couldn’t happen to a […]

The Republican National Committee is busy narrowing down the list of potential host cities for its 2016 convention. Last week the list dropped by two, with Cincinnati and Las Vegas dropping their bids; Cincinnati because, well, Cincinnati, and Vegas for a whole host of reasons. Needless to say, yr Wonkette was devastated by Vegas’s decision. […]

Man, the city of Denver is so harshing the Colorado Symphony’s mellow after the nonprofit announced plans for a series of cannabis-friendly fundraising concerts. Because dog forbid anyone listening to classical music should get to enjoy it. Yesterday the city sent a letter to symphony president Jerome Kern warning him that the plans for the concert […]

Welcome, O Wonkers and Wankers, to another edition of the Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we clean the sticky residue of stoopid stories from our browser tabs, cut it with a secret mix of chemicals from Freedumb Industries, and serve it up to you in an elixir that’s easily as tasteful and memorable as […]

Hmmm… Looks like marijuana businesses in Colorado missed a bunch of winking and eyebrow waggling when Attorney General Eric Holder said that stuff about “not interfering” in states that had legalized marijuana. The AP is reporting that Federal agents raided an unknown number of marijuana dispensaries and growing sites in Colorado Thursday, confiscating piles of […]

One of our favorite wingnuts, unhinged radio* panic-man Kevin Swanson, who gave us the science facts about tiny dead babies inside the wombs of women using the pill and how Mark Twain was possessed by demons, now has something else to freak out about: Cookies. Cookies baked not by elves, but by Girl Scouts, who […]

My, that takes some brass. We checked. No pre-written notes were allowed.

Now you can put down the razor blade, take the hose out of the gas pipe, un-noose yourself … and, er, all the other ghastly ways the Virgin Suicides suicided themselves. We’re sorry B. Barry Bamz was a little boring last night, but for sweet Jesus’s sake, he wasn’t that bad. You are all acting […]

“Today, voters in Denver will decide whether to set up a commission to track space aliens.” Yup: The proposition calls for the city of Denver to accept reports of UFO sightings on its Web page. Sponsor Jeff Peckman says the government is tracking aliens, but refuses to make the reports public. And should we be […]

Dan Maes is in a tough spot! He’s running for the Republican gubernatorial nomination in Colorado against a known plagiarist, and if he wins the primary he’ll just have to take on Tom Tancredo and the awesomely named “Denver Mayor John Hickenlooper.” How do you set yourself apart in that sort of field? Hmm, “Declare […]

Supply and demand, people! Focus on the Family’s series of “Love Won Out” conferences has persuaded so many sodomites of the joys of heterosexual love that there is just no market for these events anymore. So, they’re turning over the conferences to a ministry in Orlando that can deal with the homosexual laggards who still […]

Oh boy the stimulation is signed, in Denver — no birth certificate necessary there! — and here’s your Barack Obama all pissed off at Washington because, duh, Washington is (for the moment) in large part defined by a handful of advertising filler known as “pundits” and “Richard Cohen” and “The Politico,” all of which are […]

EPIC MOMENTS ON AMERICAN SCREENS  2:39 pm November 24, 2008

by Sara K. Smith

KEN LAYNE REMEMBERS OBAMA’S NOMINATION SPEECH: “For two long, ridiculous years, I had covered this campaign — if by ‘covered’ you mean ‘wrote stupid jokes about these terrible people, every day, for a Web site.’ Now was not the time to give up and watch history on a cheap wall monitor over a concession booth.” […]