denny’s
A Children’s Treasury of CEOs Throwing Very Grown-Up Tantrums Over Obamacare
If we were the CEO of a multi-billion dollar company, we would happily make ten cents less per unit in order to make sure that our employees have health care coverage. This would be DOUBLY true if we were the CEO of a multi-billion dollar company in the food industry, given that we would not [...]
Bored NASA Agents Now Invading Denny’s In Search of Moon Rocks
NASA had so much fun scaring the hell out of random horrified people by showering Earth with giant gobs of flaming scrap metal that they figured, “why break a streak?” So now they’re busy terrorizing and manhandling 74-year-old grandmother Joanne Davis for trying to sell a tiny speck of a moon rock that her late [...]
Oh Look, Old Man McCain Is Trying To Slug That Huckster Guy Again
John McCain is just going to get more and more desperate until he is fighting a man with Down Syndrome for a night janitor job at a Denny’s. Walnuts has previously released two ads calling his opponent a “huckster” for appearing in infomercials. The problem is that Arizona voters seem to maybe prefer this awful [...]
Kids Don’t Eat Free In the District, Even If It Saves Lives
Thursday, June 11: DC has a few issues — high dropout and teen pregnancy rates, an AIDS epidemic, never-ending nonsensical violent crime — but there’s nothing that a cooking competition can’t fix! Get some kids in a room, have them cook a meal made of “surprise’ ingredients,” make some top DC chefs judge the thing, [...]
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