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Tag: denny hastert

Arkansas Perv Judge Resigns To Spend More Time Sex-Spanking White Boys, Probably

So we've got spanky-spanky, sexual favors, child porn, anything else to make sure this guy goes down in the history books as just a really great judge?
Sick fuck if true

Denny Hastert Going To Actual-Factual Prison For Covering Up How He Molested All The Boys

Denny Hastert, former speaker of the House and a serial child molester who for eight years was second in line to the presidency after Dick Cheney (who was already president anyway), has been sentenced to 15 months in actual...

Gross Tom Delay Writes Gross Letter In Support Of Super-Gross Dennis Hastert

So, lots of Dennis Hastert news these days, huh? We all got to learn that he maybe molested not one, not two, not three, not four, but five kids while he was busy ostensibly being their wrestling coach but...
Shed a tear for Denny

Former House Speaker Denny Hastert ‘Sorry’ For Being Sick Bastard, Please Don’t Send Him To Jail

<a href="http://wonkette.com/586945/yep-ex-speaker-denny-hastert-paid-hush-money-to-cover-up-kid-diddling-allegedly"></a>Time for an update on one of the Ew Gross stories that happened in the Year Of Our Lord 2015. Quick recap: Former House Speaker Dennis Hastert was indicted when it was revealed that he had ALLEGEDLY done financial misconduct...

Alabama Governor Didn’t Bone That Lady, Sexism Boned That Lady!

Oh great, now it's time to hear from the woman Republican Alabama Gov. Robert Bentley DID NOT have physical relations with. Honest! He may have penis-lusted after her in his brain, but he did not brain-lust her with his...

The Top 29 Things The ‘D’ In Paul Ryan’s New Fancy Speaker Name Stands For

HEY LADIES, big news! Paul Ryan is officially the Republican Party's nominee for new doomed speaker of the House of Representatives. (The full House will vote for him on Thursday; Democrats are expected to support the GOP's choice, if...
Congratulations, no one will ever know the details, you slime

Sicko Ex-Speaker Dennis Hastert Pleads Guilty, Might Go To Jail For 5 Minutes

Sooo many House speaker SEX SCANDALS since last we checked on (alleged) sick pervert Denny Hastert, the “safe” one who only became speaker in 1999, after all the other preferred choices had to run away in disgrace. We recently lost John...
Classic pulp covers just don't account for women as equal participants in legislative diddling

It Turns Out We Weren’t Kidding About Kevin McCarthy’s Sex Scandal. Huh!

Remember a long, long time ago, when we told you John Boehner was quittin' this here speaker job, probably because SEX SCANDAL? And you were like, Oh, Wonkette, LOLZ, you're so funny, with the jokes, that's why we love...
Sick fuck if true

This Lady Says Sick Bastard Denny Hastert Molested The Hell Out Of Her Brother In High School

Remember when we told you the story of the indictment of former Speaker of the House Denny Hastert, for allegedly paying hush money to cover up his sexual abuse of a former student known only as "Individual A," was...
Shed a tear for Denny

Won’t Someone PLEASE Think Of Poor Blackmailed Maybe Child Molester Denny Hastert?

We had to know this was coming. Because indicted former Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert is not merely accused of illegally withdrawing $1.7 million in hush money cash, and lying to the FBI about it, all to keep...
Let's buy pipe cleaners. Kids like pipe cleaners.

If The Duggars Love Hobby Lobby So Much, They Should Gay Marry It. Your Weekly Top Ten.

Happy Sunday, you scrappy weasels. We hope you had a nice week, enjoying all the gross news yr Wonkette had to report, because all the news was just terrible and gross and bad. We thought we had our fill...
Not actually Denny Hastert

Yep, Ex-Speaker Denny Hastert Paid Hush Money To Cover Up Kid-Diddling. ALLEGEDLY.

So yeah. The dark secret not detailed in the indictment against former Republican House Speaker Denny Hastert, for allegedly agreeing to pay "Individual A" $3.5 million to keep his dark secret a secret and lying to the FBI about...
Good point!

Ex-Speaker Denny Hastert Indicted For Paying Hush Money To Cover Up Something REAL Bad

Once upon a time, while the Republican Party was trying to recover from its self-inflicted wounds after its disastrous impeachment trial of President Bill Clinton for getting an extramarital hummer, conservative evangelical Illinois Republican Dennis Hastert became Speaker of...

GOP House Leadership Totally Innocent!