The hot wife of lovable libtard Congressman Dennis Kucinich has entered some dancing-type contest in her adopted city of Cleveland, home of downtown shooting victims, accused mutilators, and drunken wreckers of motorized bar stools. Congressman Kucinich would like you to vote for Elizabeth on Cleveland’s Dancing with the Stars, a vigorous competition featuring Cleveland celebrities. Tune in to News Channel 5 between 5am and 7am on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, and then vote or whatever. Just vote. How do you vote? Who knows, your editor can’t even make the videos work on that news site. [The Hill]

Dennis Kucinich has just one day left before George W. Bush leaves office, FOREVER. He has tried to impeach Bush, repeatedly, but so far it hasn’t “taken.” Will Kucinich finally be able to impeach this goon today as part of Barack Obama’s national day of service? Probably not! But Feral House has published a Memorial Document of his quest, called The 35 Articles of Impeachment and the Case for Prosecuting George W. Bush. It includes an essay explaining how you can impeach somebody even after they’ve left office. So … maybe George W. Bush will be pursued by impeachment’s foul and far-reaching taint even after he has fled beyond the reach of extradition, to Dallas. [Top of the Ticket]

Sexy Neel Kashkari, the 35-year-old former Goldman Sachs investor Hank Paulson selected to run the so-far embarrassing $700 billion bailout program, went before a House committee today to be brutally excoriated, roasted on a spit, and then sodomized by the giddy Elf King Dennis Kucinich and his snarling band of blood monsters. The highlight, and an instant Congressional Hearings Classic, came from Rep. Elijah Cummings of Maryland: “Mr. Kashkari, in the neighborhood I grew up in, in the inner city of Baltimore, one of the things that you tried to do was make sure that you were not considered a chump … Well, is Kashkari a chump?” [YouTube, HuffPo]

It’s Dennis “The Menace” Kucinich thrilling the crowd on Tuesday! He kicked ass and took names! Wild applause! But the insurance companies and oil monsters still run the world — sorry, Denny! Oh look we have some more pictures …. MORE »

WHOA DENNIS KUCINICH MAKES EVERYONE CRAZY! You realize that all the speeches are stale bullshit and it’s just a lot of background noise while Chris Matthews talks about his memories. But Dennis Kucinich just killed in here, with a screaming “WAKE UP AMERICA” rant/chant that was quick and nutty. Maybe true, too! [The Swamp]

Washington’s The Hill newspaper has published its 2008 list of the 50 Most Beautiful People on Capitol Hill, and yes, they were somehow able to find the requisite 50 people! We don’t really know where to begin with this. Checking out all the names and pictures takes long enough, and then there are little articles for each entry — long articles. So far the only sentence we’ve read, arbitrarily selected, was this: “It seems that when Coty Wamp, daughter of Rep. Zach Wamp (R-Tenn.), was 11, an alien invaded her body.” We dare not ask any further questions. MORE »

Dennis Kucinich is about to start cold representin’ in the House of Representatives, in which he serves as a representative, in about a half hour, or maybe right now! Or maybe he already did this, earlier today. (We are in a Mexican restaurant having some margaritas and eggs right now, so we are out of C-SPAN range.) Anyway, Dennis is introducing a brand new Articles of Impeachment against George W. Bush, who is busily having a fistfight with the air in Japan right now. And then Dennis will have a press conference. Or he already did. Somebody please send us a SHORT YouTube clip, but only if Elizabeth is there, in a bikini. So hot out! [Dennis Kucinich]

Yesterday evening while you were all sitting around with your microwave dinners in your laps wondering what you were going to watch now that Dancing with the Stars is over, Dennis Kucinich was on the CSPAN reading articles of impeachment against President George W. Bush. In this exciting video, watch the congressman from Ohio talking about propaganda campaigns while his coworkers mill around behind him and talk quietly about which stripper bars they’ll be going to once old Talky McGee is done with his legislating on behalf of the American people. [YouTube]

We cannot write a better introduction than this: “A town in South America is living in fear after several sightings of a ‘creepy gnome’ that locals claim stalks the streets at night. The midget — which wears a pointy hat and has a distinctive sideways walk — was caught on video last week by a terrified group of youngsters.” This sidling wicket goblin, who is terrorizing Argentinian Mexicans, made one teenager “so scared after seeing that thing that we had to take him to the hospital.”

Hmm… a hobbit gnome terrorizing illegals? This is no mystery at all. MORE »

Democrat Dennis Kucinich recently abandoned his bid for the presidency in order to spend more time in hot threesomes with his nine-foot-tall English wife and a rotating coterie of Hollywood starlets. Understandably, the voters in his Cleveland congressional district are pissed. But will their jealous rage be enough to propel him out of office? MORE »

Yesterday, Elizabeth Kucinich accompanied her husband, a politician of some sort, to a speech about something. Elizabeth stood in the crowd and maybe text-messaged some friends on her cell phone. It’s not any major Elizabeth Kucinich news, but we thought you should know how Elizabeth spent her day yesterday.