There is no coat in the land to protect you from the douche chills that will travel down your spine upon reading Anthony Weiner waxing eloquent about himself to his famous-for-DC-fucking dinner companion. Wary of being caught in a similar scene, Harold Ford Jr. takes his game to the more fertile dating fields of California. Others living up to their reputations this week: Dennis Hastert bangs down some bangers and mash, Joe Lieberman man-dates through Georgetown, and Barack Obama’s teeth throw off the white balance on cameras all over town. All these plus the last two people you’d ever want to see in an emergency, after you cross the police line.

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Wonk’d is in a festive mood and the famous-for-DC kids in this week’s installment have been spotted doing the exact same thing you’ve been doing these past few weeks: stuffing food in their faces at a hectic pace. Harold Ford likes upscale chain eateries, Tom Delay indulges his delusions of grandeur by lunching on the Senate side, and actual celebrity Matt Damon drops a few hundred bucks on a dinner he could’ve gotten for $4.99 from a local burrito joint. Lots more, including Dennis Hastert ordering the red and green curry, after you rip open the presents.

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Boehner and Blunt — leaders of the House Republicans! With that “new Congress smell” still fresh, the GOP has decided to reward the team that lost them the midterm elections with reelections to their leadership posts. MORE »

• Saddam Hussein sentenced to death by hanging for crimes against humanity. [WP, NYT, LAT]

• Polls show affinity for hangings to boost Republican turnout. [NYT]
• Various self-appointed election monitoring groups will spend tomorrow addressing voting irregularities, trying to feel important. [WSJ]
• Even voters can’t save Dennis Hastert’s position as speaker, as he is “widely expected to exit the leadership stage.” [WP]
• Omnipotent swing-voters don’t like the situation in Iraq, do like the E Street Band. [WSJ]
• Candidates try to motivate their base of support, with President Bush in red states and former President Clinton in blue ones. [WP]
• Poll numbers move Republican’s way after start of vaunted voter turnout “blitz.” [WP]
• President Bush more willing to work with Democrats now than, well, ever. [NYT]
• The New York Times is shocked at the speed with which online games are produced to mock politicians, also finds Jay Leno to be outrageous. [NYT]

• Jean Schmidt afraid that after losing her seat in the House, she’ll also be forced to relinquish the title of most moronic elected official from Ohio. [Talking Points Memo]

• For Dick Cheney, a day without waterboarding is like a day without air. [MoJo Blog]
• New Bob Corker campaign ad being “checked” by Tennessee television stations. The ad won’t be aired unless it meets a minimum threshold of racist content. [Wizbang Politics]
• White House spokesman freely admits Iraq policy is driven by political concerns, MSM finds it too obvious to report. [Media Matters]
• Iraqi Insurgents For Lamont to begin airing campaign ads. [The Carpetbagger Report]
• South Korean panic over North Korean nuclear ambitions being assuaged by copious amounts of life-affirming sex. [Outside the Beltway]
• Roll Call steals our idea, improves it by using research tools other than Google. [TPM Muckraker]
• The Swiss cheese memory of Dennis Hastert strikes again as he replaces “forgotten” facts with made up ones. [Think Progress]

Every week, our Anonymous Lobbyist answers your questions about how laws get made and why they probably shouldn’t. If you have a question about the dirty business of doing business in Washington, ask us.

This week: we asked for questions, and you guys delivered. There’s enough creepy varations on “what do you look like naked” to last us ’til Christmas! Other pressing matters, after the jump.

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• A time is on the table: more troops may be need in Iraq to assist with stability for the next 12 to 18 months until Iraqi security forces take over. [WP, NYT, USAT]

• All the big names of the Bush Administration made it to the White House lawn for “Radio Day,” to reconnect with conservative supporters who live in wooded cabins without TV or internet. [WP, WP]
• Only the most broke and desperate candidates want President Bush to appear with them. [NYT]
• NRCC circulates list of 33 that would meet that description. [The Hill]
• Dennis Hastert and Tom Reynolds went before the House ethics committee, offered conflicting stories. Investigation may be winding down, but no answers til after the election. [WP, NYT]
• Tennessee Senate seat hinges on Harold Ford’s ability to woo racist voters on rocky top. [WP]
• Hillary Clinton has Dick Cheney’s vote locked up for 2008. [Reuters]

Embattled ( (c) Mainstream Media) Representative Dennis Hastert’s appearance before the House Ethics Committee was so surprising, the AP only had time to rewrite the first couple grafs of their story, placing us in a bizarre time-space continuum shift: MORE »

• New poll shows Democrats favored by 2 to 1 among the important independent voters who have soured on Iraq. [WP]

• Black and Latino voters once supportive of GOP turn to Democrats as previous campaign promises go unfulfilled. [LAT]
• President Bush no longer saying “stay the course.” Difference between old course and emerging new course unclear, though might involve setting up progress benchmarks in Iraq. [NYT]
• In a sign he intends to run for president Barack Obama talks about getting high with a room full of magazine editors. [NYT]
• Academics disagree about whether the midterm elections will constitute a Democratic “wave” or a “wavelet.” Larry Sabato sides with the “wave year” camp. [WP]
• Long-shot candidate in California incites rash of corny headlines, may be “washed” into House next month. [WP]
• Dennis Hastert’s top aide testified before the House ethics subcommittee yesterday in a sign that the “Who knew Foley was a perv and when?” investigation may be drawing to a close. [ ]
• Former Enron CEO Jeffery Skilling expresses remorse while maintaining innocence, but the sentence is 24 years and 4 months in Federal “pound me in the ass” prison. [LAT]

There’s a whole lot of referencing of other websites referencing other websites and we still don’t have the allegedly gruesome details, so for now you can enjoy this press release from Weller’s house.gov site. Congressional pages, Dennis Hastert, Jerry Weller … what more do you want in a government web page?

But Jerry Weller losing his seat in the House is really the least of his worries right now. We’ll explain, after the jump.

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• Dennis Hastert may look like “a cross between actor Wilford Brimley and Jabba the Hutt,” but “nobody really fears him.” [WP]

• Tony Snow is the first White House press secretary to make fund raising appearances. He’ll quit if it interferes “with his day job.” [NYT]
• Republicans are “effectively conceding some Senate and House seats with the goal of retaining at least a thin margin of control when the 110th Congress is seated next January.” [NYT]
• Forsaken by leaders, the GOP tries to save Santorum with grassroots efforts. [LAT]
• For insurance companies, American farms themselves are the cash crop. [WP]
• Majority of Americans don’t vote in midterm elections due to restrictive registration rules, spite. [WSJ]
• No deaths reported in yesterday’s powerful earthquake in Hawaii. [USAT]