Tag: dennis hastert

Alabama To Roy Moore: Buck Off. Wonkagenda For Wed., Dec. 13, 2017

Roy Moore too gross for Alabama, Mike Cernovich just got caught, and Republicans want to start tax fuckery ASAP. Your morning news brief.

Newsweek: Other Than The Pedophilia, Mr. Hastert, What’s On Your Mind These Days?

Newsweek? More like News WEAK, amirite?

Trump Amputates Healthcare For Poors. Wonkagenda For Fri., Oct. 13, 2017

Trump breaks healthcare, Ryan Zinke flies his own freaky corrupt flag, and Wilbur Ross will shove Trump Tax Cuts (For Rich People Only) down your throat. Your morning news brief.

Trump Tries To Hide ANOTHER Putin Meeting. Wonkagenda For Wed., July 19, 2017

Trump has a secret dinner with Putin, Mitch McConnell still trying to kill Obamacare, and Trump Jr. is 'miserable,' poor baby! Your morning news brief!
Sick fuck if true

Denny Hastert Going To Actual-Factual Prison For Covering Up How He Molested All The Boys

Denny Hastert, former speaker of the House and a serial child molester who for eight years was second in line to the presidency after Dick Cheney (who was already president anyway), has been sentenced to 15 months in actual...

Gross Tom Delay Writes Gross Letter In Support Of Super-Gross Dennis Hastert

So, lots of Dennis Hastert news these days, huh? We all got to learn that he maybe molested not one, not two, not three, not four, but five kids while he was busy ostensibly being their wrestling coach but...
Your modern 'ethical standards' frighten and confuse me

Why Might Former Speaker Denny Hastert Have Rubbed Those Five Boys’ Groins? Hmmmm

In a novel strategy, the attorneys for former House Speaker Dennis Hastert attempted to downplay Hastert's alleged sexual abuse of a minor when he was a high school wrestling coach by arguing that maybe there was nothing particularly sexual...
Shed a tear for Denny

Former House Speaker Denny Hastert ‘Sorry’ For Being Sick Bastard, Please Don’t Send Him To Jail

<a href="http://wonkette.com/586945/yep-ex-speaker-denny-hastert-paid-hush-money-to-cover-up-kid-diddling-allegedly"></a>Time for an update on one of the Ew Gross stories that happened in the Year Of Our Lord 2015. Quick recap: Former House Speaker Dennis Hastert was indicted when it was revealed that he had ALLEGEDLY done financial misconduct...

The Top 29 Things The ‘D’ In Paul Ryan’s New Fancy Speaker Name Stands For

HEY LADIES, big news! Paul Ryan is officially the Republican Party's nominee for new doomed speaker of the House of Representatives. (The full House will vote for him on Thursday; Democrats are expected to support the GOP's choice, if...
Congratulations, no one will ever know the details, you slime

Sicko Ex-Speaker Dennis Hastert Pleads Guilty, Might Go To Jail For 5 Minutes

Sooo many House speaker SEX SCANDALS since last we checked on (alleged) sick pervert Denny Hastert, the “safe” one who only became speaker in 1999, after all the other preferred choices had to run away in disgrace. We recently lost John...
Sick fuck if true

This Lady Says Sick Bastard Denny Hastert Molested The Hell Out Of Her Brother In High School

Remember when we told you the story of the indictment of former Speaker of the House Denny Hastert, for allegedly paying hush money to cover up his sexual abuse of a former student known only as "Individual A," was...
Shed a tear for Denny

Won’t Someone PLEASE Think Of Poor Blackmailed Maybe Child Molester Denny Hastert?

We had to know this was coming. Because indicted former Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert is not merely accused of illegally withdrawing $1.7 million in hush money cash, and lying to the FBI about it, all to keep...

Martin O’Malley For President Of Pointing And Laughing At Sarah Palin

At first, when former Maryland Gov. Martin O'Malley declared on Saturday that he also too would like to be president please, we were like, OK, whatever, sure, keep the Democratic primary race interesting, yay democracy. Plus, O'Malley did good liberal-y...
Not actually Denny Hastert

Yep, Ex-Speaker Denny Hastert Paid Hush Money To Cover Up Kid-Diddling. ALLEGEDLY.

So yeah. The dark secret not detailed in the indictment against former Republican House Speaker Denny Hastert, for allegedly agreeing to pay "Individual A" $3.5 million to keep his dark secret a secret and lying to the FBI about...
Shed a tear for Denny

Let’s Remember That Time Speaker Denny Hastert Covered Up A GOP Sex Scandal!

Back when Republican Denny Hastert was Speaker of the House -- before he became a lobbyist and before he was indicted for paying someone a whole lot of hush money to cover up "prior misconduct," whatever that means, we...