Wonkette

The slap fest continues in this last installment of the Six Minutes of Debate Fight Heaven. Barack doesn’t know who he’s running against — Bill or Hillary — when really it’s John Edwards who’s poised to win several presidencies. Then he does a great spread-palm “what’s this crazy liebot jabbering on about?” aside to the crowd. Of course, he’s standing in dangerous territory, playing all mean like this, and that’s no place to stand when there’s a nitroglycerine-breathing Clinton next to you. Enter the Rezko stab, smite the Demrat party for good.

Here’s the proverbial jaw-smashing uppercut, the personal swipe that grows Barry a set if only for a few fleeting seconds, the killer double-down dropkick sawed-off body smash slam: The Walmart Card. An angry, angry panda, that Barry Hussein is.

Those of you that missed last night’s Democratic debate in Myrtle Beach missed the greatest debate in American history (read: six minutes of it was not entirely awful). They started talking about such boring things as the economy, and how jobs are neat yet poor humans don’t have them, then they started fighting. Here’s the first clip, where Barry defends his crush on Reagan and Hillary gets Rowr-y and Bill becomes president and Spartacus leads a slave rebellion and everyone talks over each other. Also-ran John Edwards was present at the debate last night as well.

*THE CLINTONS WIN NEVADA*: Congratulations to Bill and Hillary Clinton for defeating spunky upstart Barry Obama in the Demrat Nevadian caucuses. Now maybe Bill can calm down. [CNN]

Crybaby candidate Hillary Clinton, after spending five days in New Hampshire telling everyone how human and nice she was, went door-to-door in Las Vegas Thursday ripping on that 4-year-old hobo Barack Obama. She described his background as “a part-time state senator for a few years, and then he came to the Senate and immediately started running for president.” Clearly the people of Nevada would prefer a candidate who came out of the womb and immediately started running for president. MORE »

Oh ho ho, that dreadful John Kerry is up to that usual sneaky trickster magic of his! In his official e-mail announcing that endorsement of Obama, he decides to let everyone know first and foremost that he’s up for re-election this year. See? Old Guy 1 endorses New Guy 2 AND Old Guy 1 (himself) in same e-mail. How did he ever lose to Bush with such subliminal brilliance? Maybe he wasn’t an exciting speaker or something.

Crazy Vegas/European gamblerholics have been following the polls and Wonkette’s trenchant commentary closely to set odds for our next president. Some dude from Bloomberg News has aggregated the bookies’ thoughts, and he’s got Hillary at 3 to 1. It’s the first time Hillary’s faced 3 to 1 since that wild first year of marriage with Bill. MORE »

The most fun new poll results this morning — the Wall Street Journal/NBC ones — show the top five Republican candidates (you know ‘em) running about the same. Among national Republicans, Rudy and Mitt tie for 20% apiece, with Huckbeez at 17%, McCain at 14% and Fred Thompson at 11%. Among national Democrats, Hillary leads Barack by 22 percentage points, but the Internet tells me that she’s losing anyway. Spin it yourselves. It’ll probs just be Hillary vs. Mitt. [WSJ]

This Larry Craig guy. First he’s able to elude that embarrassing recant on his pledge to resign, then he dodges those Ethics Committee hearings McConnell told us we’d get, then EIGHT MEN relate their stories of gay sex with this hypocrite, and where does it bring him today? To the White House as an official guest for a signing ceremony. [Pause, so as to consider]. Larry Craig is the best politician of our era. MORE »

Hillary’s handlers must have given her pounds of lithium before today’s debate, because she spewed out her best cackle since the old days when she was winning every poll by 50 points. And nothing sets off the Cacklometer like a question about the Clinton Administration directed at another candidate! Then that glibtard Barack “oh snapped” right back at her, which would usually hurt Hillary’s feelings. But, again: lithium.