Wonkette

Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal, the Indian street urchin who is also somehow a Mexican Catholic exorcist, is 36-years-old and supposedly “beloved” by his backward state, for being charismatic and Strong. He has been a governor for literally -2 hours. The state has chosen this moment to start hating him, for reneging on a campaign pledge in a comical fashion that marks the birth of a new, iconic American Failure. MORE »

Hillary has a new “Clinton” on the campaign trail who is incapable of making terrible racist remarks, because it is a dead “balloon doll” that cannot say anything at all. Bill Clinton has been locked in some lunatic’s basement in Austria until Hillary somehow manages to take the nomination from Jeremiah Wright. [AP Photo]

U.S. President George W. Bush has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize for “fighting terrorism and promoting world peace,” according to a BBC News report. Bush has successfully promoted peace and democracy in many terrorist nations, including Iraq and Afghanistan, while making Americans safer and more prosperous at home. MORE »

Charles Krauthammer is not having any of this creepy cultish Obama nonsense. In his new column, “Obama Casts His Spell” (that is the real headline), the Washington Post blowhard says he’s the only wrong-about-everything right-wing realist who can escape the bewitching African charms of this Democratic presidential “hopeful.” That means, somehow, that Barack Obama will “charm” his way into power. And then oh my god exactly 24 hours after President Hussein Obama is sworn in …. MORE »

Hey everybody, turns out Dick Cheney is in pretty good health after all — pretty good for a vengeance demon yanked from his native hell dimension, anyway! MORE »

Still creeped out by today’s video of Dick Cheney’s “Twin Peaks” routine in the Rose Garden? Get ready for more inexplicable terror.

We combed through our Creepy Cheney Image Database Archives (TM) and found startling evidence that the dude is basically in the bushes all the time — or, perhaps more frightening, has perfected the ability to materialize in the bushes at opportune times to terrorize the press corps or other administration officials.

There is another, more horrific explanation, which we’ll explain after the jump. Plus, lots more pictures!

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The horrible noises heard after hours at the newish Rock and Roll Hotel — which is a bar with live music, not a hotel — are not just rats or people having sex or other people being mugged outside. According to The Hill, the club is actually haunted by actual ghost demons who literally scare the crap out of employees.

At the end of one night recently, a female employee paid a visit to the ladies’ room. While she was in a stall, someone else entered the restroom. Thinking it was a member of the clean-up crew, she told the intruder to return later. The person didn’t listen, and closed the next stall door. The employee heard the toilet in the other stall flush. But when she checked, no one was there.

As we know from the Bible, this is because the rock club used to be a funeral home. MORE »

London’s Evening Standard breathlessly asks, WILL A BLOOD CLOT FORCE CHENEY TO STEP DOWN? MORE »